Thursday, October 6, 2016

My Thoughts about Pregnancy Part 2

Well, I am 36 weeks pregnant today with our second baby girl. I've been thinking about writing this blog post for weeks. Since my pregnancy post with Haddie was so dramatic and full of struggle but with a happy ending, I wanted to share my thoughts about Bethel's pregnancy because it has been so different.

I was totally convinced we were having a boy because I wasn't sick at all in the first trimester. I woke up feeling a bit yucky until I ate something, but no nausea - what a gift! Really, other than some yucky mornings and a growing baby bump, I couldn't even tell I was pregnant. I've had a few minor ailments here and there, but really, I think this has been the smoothest, most comfortable pregnancy a mama could ask for. Remind me of that tonight when I'm turning over every 20 minutes from some fairly severe sciatica. ;) Haha!

Don't get me wrong. Even with a super smooth pregnancy, I'm still not a fan of being pregnant. I'm definitely not my grandma who apparently has said that she felt the best in her life while she was pregnant. What the what?! But wow, this pregnancy has been perspective-changing. I have felt Bethel move almost non-stop since week 20, which leaves me awed every time I feel her. I had a bout of despair and self-condemnation and hormones that I thought might literally kill me that preceded a real breakthrough in my bondage to self-condemnation .... I am now walking so much more in the freedom of grace - thank you, Jesus! And I have been so, so thankful this pregnancy, growing in excitement about meeting Bethel, growing more in love with Haddie everyday, growing to love my husband and be thankful for our relationship, basking in our amazing support system, growing more in my walk with Christ in this season of life than ever before, and so much more.

It's just amazing what I've learned during this pregnancy. Sure, I've felt a lot better carrying Bethel than I did carrying Haddie, so it's been easier to have a good attitude.  But I think God is ready to teach us something amazing (and difficult) every single day of our lives and in every season. We just have to be ready and open. ... I was pretty closed off for a lot of my pregnancy with Haddie, and I've definitely had some rough days and weeks with Bethel. But wow! God is so faithful to teach me, and I am so thankful for that!

I'm so excited to meet you, Little B! You're our next big adventure!!!


Over the summer, I watched the movie, War Room, and read this book, Fervent, with my ladies' Bible study at church. Wow, they were both so good! The biggest thing I took away from the movie was the WAY the main character prayed. She wrote down her prayers, word-for-word, and taped them to her closet walls. She wrote a couple pages at a time, even, and committed to reading through and praying through these written-out prayers! And that's what stuck with me. Reading the book only fueled my desire to pray, reminding me how powerful and essential prayer is and giving me a never-before-known-to-me desire to begin praying fervently for my husband, my children, myself, my family, my friends, my church family, and beyond.

I started writing out long prayers and taping them to my bedroom wall. When my prayers drifted over to Darrell's side of the room, I decided to make a crafty prayer journals instead. It has been working out great because now, when I want to pray, I can grab my journal and pray through my prayers easily instead of squinting and getting lost in my prayers from across the room. Haha! I am still working on my consistency, but I am praying and growing in my faith a heck of a lot more since I started this fervent prayer journey than I would be if I had never watched this movie and read the book and applied some of the principles. So I am stoked to continue growing in fervent prayer.

I highly recommend reading this book and finding the prayer method that works best for you. Writing and crafting my prayers has taken my prayer life to a whole new level. I'm so grateful for the motivation and inspiration and revelation this journey has and continues to give me!