Dear Emily #4

Dear Emily,

I

MISS

YOU

!!!

I got home from Bible study tonight feeling pretty good ... more optimistic than the rest of my week so far. And then I watched a really ridiculous video you posted, and it made me ache a little. And then I saw that you were online, so I said hi. But I don't think you were really online. So then I thought "my Dear Emily posts!" So here I am. :):):)

How are you???

I was really behind with your 366 photos blog, so I glanced through your maaarvelous pictures. The two stories I want to hear ... about the cute piece of pottery? And ... what was the other one? Oh, the keys! You locked yourself AND your client out of HER house, huh? Sounds like a hoot! You must share these stories sometime. :)

I noticed that you're still restless. Me too. What's a girl to do but keep trusting God with it all? I wish that wasn't so hard!!! It's just been a rough week from that standpoint. It doesn't help that business has been super slow at The Porch. For some reason, when business is slow at work, I always start thinking about how my life isn't what I thought, how I want something new, "oh, woe is me." That whole downward-spiraly deal. But then, of course, God brings me back to reality. It's taking a little longer this week ... but I'm getting there. Bible study with the Cooks and the Adamsons tonight helped a bit. :) We love those guys. :D ... But God brings me back and reminds me how good I've got it - I love my teenagers; I love dance (and my dance instructor!) :D; I'm in a really good season right now. I'm bound to have restless days (or weeks) ... but I'm gonna come out (more than) okay. I hope God brings you back to those realizations too, in your restless season.

Well, I'm just missing you a lot tonight. I hope you're having a great week! I'm off to do some Zumba!!! :D

Love you tons,

Mical :)

Dear Emily #3

Dear Emily,

Thanks for your text earlier today! Looovveee those! :D The timing was interesting. I was just pulling into the hospital for the second time. No worries. Nothing too serious. But I haven't told you that I have an enlarged thyroid. Not sure what that means yet, but it's the reason for a lot of junk that's popped up in my life over the past 6-8 months. I just haven't been me. I've been depressed and moody ... grouchy ... negative ... insecure and lonely. So many crazy emotions that I haven't been able to handle. My hormones have been out of whack, and I've just been a big mess. I knew something was wrong because it was so out of character for me ... but I didn't know why or how to look for the reasons why. I went to the doctor for a physical last Monday, and I told him about my symptoms - depression, shaking, stomach aches, headaches, PMS symptoms 24/7, and so on. He told me my thyroid was too big, and so I was in Indy for most of the day today being tested. Haven't found out anything much yet. I'll keep you posted. ... But gosh, I am just so thankful to know that there is a root to my struggles over the past several months. I was about to go insane - really. I just wanna be ME again. Mical Masterson - she's a keeper ... when she's herself. :)

So thank you for your text ... and your prayers today. I'll update you when I have more news.
I miss you.
Love you,
Mical :)

Dear Emily #2

Dear Emily,
How was your 4th of July? Had a new DTI group come in yesterday, right? How was the first day of work?

I did basically nothing today. It was great. :) I slept in till 10am, talked to my brother for the 20 minutes he was home (he just came in to town to see his girlfriend ... oh, well), headed to Wal-Mart to buy I Am Number Four and Beastly, got a medium Donatos pepperoni pizza and ate all but two pieces in one sitting ... needless to say, I had a bad stomach ache for the rest of the day. ... And then, believe it or not, I started taking everything down off of my walls in my bedroom!!! Ahh! I can't believe I'm doing it ... but I've been thinking lately that the things on my walls (not all of 'em but most) are outdated - God's using new scripture in my life, the majority of the people in the pictures are not my friends/barely my friends anymore, and I just felt like doing something new ... starting over. It's gonna take a while ... but it's a new, little adventure I started today. :) I've got about 3/4 of my pictures still on the walls, but just about everything else has been taken down. I took a break a few hours ago, to cook some soup beans and cornbread for dinner ... and then I watched State Fair, which I've decided is one of my new favorite movies. I just love Pat and Margie's love story - all two weeks of it. Haha! Good day, indeed.

I hope your day was great too! Watching any fireworks? I can see the ones going off at the high school from my bedroom window. Hope it was a great day for ya ... make sure King Barry doesn't kill himself if he's doing huge fireworks again this year. ;) ... Wow, it sounds like a bunch of guns going off outside my window! ... Talk to ya soon.

Love ya,
Mical :)

Dear Emily #1

I'm starting yet another series of blog posts ... will they ever end? Haha! They are called "Dear Emily" posts, and they will help me stay connected to my bosom buddy who now lives in Nashville ... 5 long hours away from Indianapolis. Sad day. Err ... but (this is supposed to be a happy idea) it's all good. We are staying close - thank you, Jesus, for facebook and blogs ... and BBFness. So here they begin ...

Dear Emily,
Your blog is amazing! And I'm so impressed with how often you post on it. I go away and don't read it for just a couple of days, and you have 3 or 4 posts up. Amazing! And they are always so fun.

Thank you for telling me ... ha! I mean everyone ... wow, I really do want you all to myself, don't I? Thank you for sharing so much on your blog. It really helps me stay connected with you.

I'm so thankful that you're doing well - in the midst of crazy emotions - and that King Barry is loving you so completely and taking care of you.

I want to tell you about some new plans of mine. :) I'm taking the Praxis again! Well, the first step is ordering my scores again. The Praxis people have started something new ... something called a composite score. If my math, reading, and writing scores from the Praxis 1 add up to 527, then I PASS!!! Even if my reading score is not up to snuff, the composite score will make up the difference. I ordered my scores yesterday, so I'll find out in a few weeks if I have to take the test again. But my plan is to pass the Praxis and start back to school to finish my teaching degree. I'm gonna work at Calvary with SoZo and go back to school. If things work out, I'll be ready to look for a teaching job for the fall of 2013. ... Whew. There's part of me that can't believe I'm gonna try this again. What the heck? What am I thinking? ... But I'm not at peace. I love my SoZo-ers, and I want my mom's business to succeed ... but I can't do what I'm doing forever. I can't even do it for another few years, really. Whew. I've gotta try again. I'm going to.

What do you think? Do you think I'm doing the right thing? Am I crazy for trying a 10th time!? Wow. God's going to help me. I can't do it without Him. It'll be devastating to fail again. But I've gotta try.

Missing you ... oh, so much.
Love you,
Mical :)