More Like Jesus

I've been thinking about resolutions lately.  Ya know ... 'cause 2013 is almost over, and 2014 is just around the bend.  Wow, isn't that crazy?!  Life really IS a vapor! ....... I was thinking, recently, about what resolutions I want to set out to tackle this next year.  But I got to thinking ... why make a bunch of resolutions that I'm just gonna end up forgetting about or giving up on in a couple of weeks?  Now, I don't wanna be Miss Negativity, and I don't have anything against New Year's Resolutions.  Actually, I think they're great!  But to be honest, I've never followed through with a New Year's Resolution in my life.  Mostly 'cause I, #1 - make too many resolutions to keep up with, and #2 - my expectations are too high.

As I grow in my relationship with Jesus more and more, I am learning that becoming more like Jesus is what God is most concerned about ... and becoming more like Jesus is really the key to a resolute life.  Resolute means "firmly resolved or determined; set in purpose or opinion."  And isn't that what making New Year's Resolutions is all about?  We wanna be determined to accomplish a set purpose.  "I'm gonna lose 30 pounds this year!"  "I'm gonna read through my entire Bible this year!"  "I'm gonna stop drinking soda this year!"  "I'm gonna get a gym membership and workout everyday this year!" ... All of these are great purposes (or goals ... or resolutions), but what about living a purposeful life in Christ? :)

I definitely wanna try to lose some weight this year - I've gained 30 pounds since I've been married. :(
I definitely wanna try to take better care of my body this year by eating more veggies and exercising consistently and cutting back on the sweet tea and carbs and sweet treats.
I definitely wanna try to be more intentional in my relationships - sending encouragement cards and praying for others more often and just simply being available.

I guess those could be my New Year's Resolutions ... but really?  I just wanna be more like Jesus. :)

And the more I think about it, resolutions are good ... they really are.  But I don't wanna get so caught up in my resolutions that I forget to LIVE a resolute life.  I wanna be determined to be more like Jesus this year.  I want becoming more and more like Jesus to be my set purpose.  I want to accomplish THAT.  If that's all I accomplish this year, then guess what?  I've succeeded. :)  And really, the more like Jesus we become, the more everything else falls into place.  Sure, it'll take time.  But as I become more like Jesus and gain His perspective, I will be more motivated to take care of my body, and I will be more others-centered.  And those are my goals (resolutions) for this year.

What purpose do you want to determine to accomplish this year? :)

An Empowering, Supportive Wife

So I'm reading this book called Her Mother's Hope by Francine Rivers.  Ladies, if you haven't read anything by Rivers, I suggest you find something by her.  I DON'T like to read, but every book I've picked up by her, I've really liked!  Anyways ... I'm not quite halfway through Her Mother's Hope, and I've been frustrated with the main character, Marta, for the past 60 pages or so.  It's difficult to let you know all the details without writing forever and giving away the story.  But I think Marta has stubborn and bitter and selfish tendencies, and she makes me think about the way I wanna support my husband.  I don't think Marta has done a good job of supporting her husband throughout the course of this book.  Maybe she'll get better; I still have a lot to read.  And I understand Marta's worries about finances and whether or not her husband will find a job in the new places and the many changes happening to her and her family.  But this book has stirred up some questions ....

We may have certain dreams, but what about the dream of being loved by a good man and raising a family together?  When you get married, shouldn't your dreams be your husband's dreams and your husband's dreams be your dreams?  It's a partnership, isn't it?  Why is Marta so opposed to everything Niclas wants?  I understand having your own hopes and dreams, but what about supporting your husband?  What about putting his needs before your own?

I don't know if I'm anywhere close to doing these things for my Darrell, but I want to ... and I try.  I want to be a wife who loves and supports and trusts my husband.  I want to believe in my husband and believe in his dreams.  I want his dreams to be my dreams.  I want to be uplifting to my husband and give him courage, not tear him down and nag him with my worries.  I think it's okay to have separate dreams from your husband because God has given each of us a specific calling on this planet.  But when you become one with your husband, sometimes you have to sacrifice or tweak your dreams.  Sometimes you don't.  But either way, to some extent, your dreams should become your husband's dreams, and his dreams should become your dreams.  I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling other than to say ... you must work together in your dreams, support one another, help each other in any way you can.  Be unselfish.  Be ready and willing to tweak and give things up and compromise (the good kind of compromise).  I just so badly wanna be selfless and supportive.

God, I pray for the strength to be the kind of wife who encourages and empowers my husband.  Please help me be a wife who loves selflessly and unconditionally.  Help me be a wife who looks to fulfill my husband's needs first.  Teach me to always listen to You and trust You first so that I can listen to and trust my husband.  Give me courage to always trust You and face change with an eternal perspective no matter what comes our way.  Please be glorified in our lives and in our marriage.  Thank you for Your grace and mercy and strength for each day.  I love you, Lord.

I can be content through Christ who strengthens me!

Wow. God is bringing lots of ideas about Himself to my mind tonight. I guess that's what ya get when you try to read THREE separate books AND your Bible for your devotions all in one night! Whew! My brain is about to shut off from fullness! But before it shuts off ... one more thought comes to mind.

Just about everyone has heard Philippians 4:13 ... "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" But how many people think about the context? I haven't thought much about it either. But I wanted to get one encouraging thought out while I'm thinking about it. ... So often, when I've heard Philippians 4:13, people go on and on about how they can do ANYTHING with God's strength. I don't disagree with this idea, but I think it's important that we think about the context of this verse. I've seen this verse plastered on billboards ... a picture of a body builder who believes he can lift some ridiculous amount of weight because "he can do ALL things through Christ who gives him strength." And sure, God could give him the strength to do that. I doubt it. But He could. But the context. Let's think about that for a moment ...

The verses surrounding Philippians 4:13 are all about God providing for Paul's needs. And verses 11 and 12 are about Paul grasping contentment, learning to be content, stinkin' BEING content NO MATTER what his circumstances ... and his circumstances were pretty crummy. So even though God could totally help a really strong guy be even stronger and lift a really heavy weight, that's not the point here. The point is that God can give us the strength to be content (and that's a pretty huge thing 'cause contentment is often hard to come by in this crazy, unstable life). With God's strength (His Holy Spirit's POWER living and working inside of us!), we can be content whether we're excited about our season of life or not.

And I don't know about you, but when I think of God's strength enabling me to be content in every situation, I get excited! 'Cause contentment is a terror at times! ... So please, keep believing you can do ANYTHING with God's strength at work in you ... 'cause He's just that powerful. But don't forget to be realistic ... to seek God out for the right kind of strength for your circumstances.

Okay ... that's all for now. This full brain is going to bed. Good night, y'all! :)

Tim Tebow, Faith, and an Offering to God

I've been reading Tim Tebow's book, Through My Eyes, for most of the evening ... really good so far ... I just finished chapter 8, and Tim brings up some really interesting thoughts about God's will and God's work in our lives that I'd like to hash out here a bit.

In this particular chapter, Tim is telling us, his readers, about his recruiting process. Dozens of colleges tried to recruit him during his senior year of high school, and once he finally narrowed it down to two schools, he had a really tough time deciding which school to go to - Alabama or Florida. He really liked both schools and their football programs ... but he also really liked both of their coaches. In the book, he describes his inner turmoil over the decision. Weeks before he was supposed to announce his decision, he didn't know which school he would pick. Days before, he still didn't know. Hours before he got up on the podium to announce his decision, he still didn't know. Walking up to the podium, he STILL didn't know! Ahh!

But in this chapter, Tim talks about how he sought God through this decision. This is what he said ...
"I had been praying about it regularly, and my family was praying as well. I had no doubt that the Lord was leading throughout this whole process, but what was unclear was determining where He was leading. ... People often seem to think that when you're following the Lord and trying to do His will, your path will always be clear, the decisions smooth and easy, and life will be lived happily ever after and all that. Sometimes that may be true, but I've found that more often, it's not. The muddled decisions still seem muddled, bad things still happen to believers, and great things can happen to nonbelievers. When it comes to making our decisions, the key that God is concerned with is that we are trusting and seeking Him. God's desire is for us to align our lives with His Word and His will. ... But that's part of faith, what the writer of the book of Hebrews describes as a belief in things that we cannot see" (Tebow, 85-6).

I love this because I totally agree. God promises to never leave us or forsake us ... He's always with us, no matter what. But He never said that He'd give us all the answers when we need 'em. Sure, He gives us answers when we need 'em sometimes ... He shows us many things, teaches us many lessons, guides and directs us through various circumstances in our lives ... but is He ALWAYS clear? I don't know about you, but I'm with Tim ... God is not always clear. It would be great if God spoke audibly, or like Tim goes on to say in this chapter, it would be nice if God would write messages for us in the clouds. But for reasons only God knows, He doesn't work that way. And it's probably because of that little "f" word - FAITH. God wants us to exercise our faith so that we will grow in Him, and ultimately, become more like Jesus. Cool, huh? :)

I want to share one more cool thought with you ... the thought behind this post.
After I got done reading chapter 8 in Tim's book, I started journaling a prayer to God, talking to Him about this specific part of Tim's book. I immediately thought, "Read your next chapter in Psalms." (I've been reading through the Psalms for quite some time). "It doesn't matter what the next Psalm is, just read it." That's what came to my mind as I asked God some questions in my journal. So I picked up my Bible and turned to Psalm 96.
Verse 8 says ...
"Ascribe to the Lord the glory due His name; bring an offering, and come into His courts!"
That word "offering" is key here, I think. Just like faith is believing in something we cannot see ... an offering is putting our trust in something we cannot see. ... Think about it. Have you ever given an "offering" at church? A tithe is setting aside a certain amount of money each month for God's purposes - usually giving money to your church. And an offering is giving more than your tithe. I like to think of an offering as giving God more than you think you have to give. Maybe some months, you're really tight on money, but you decide to give God your tithe money and then some ... trusting that He will bless it, bless you, multiply it, use it for great things, maybe even reward you for your faith. When we give God an offering, we are giving Him our trust, no matter what the situation and whether or not we know what the outcome is.

I hope I'm not taking this verse out of context or making something up that doesn't align with God's Word. But for me ... I asked God how we can know His will when He doesn't give us His guidance ... or doesn't give it clearly ... and then I went to His Word to find the answer ... and this is what I found - "Mical, no matter what your situation, give Me all the glory; seek My face; and give Me your offering - your worship, a sacrifice - believe without seeing. That's all you really need to know and do."

So no. God doesn't speak audibly. No, He doesn't always give clear direction. He wants to teach us to believe without seeing. He wants us to give Him a sacrifice of praise, an offering of trust ... no matter what happens.

And that's that. My ponderings for the evening. :)

The Cute Guy from High School ...

This is a totally ridiculous post.

I wanna know what's up with guys. How the heck can they have such a hold on a girl? Sheesh. ... I was at one of my SoZo senior's open houses a few weeks back and a guy I went to high school with came through the door. He graduated the year before I did. We were in choir together and some musicals. Wow ... I don't even know him that well, and as soon as I saw him, I got really nervous ... and really excited. Oh my gosh. I'm laughing at myself on the other side of this keyboard. Ha! What is up with that? I barely knew him in high school ... I'd only seen him once since he graduated ... what the heck? ... And what's worse ... he knew exactly who I was, talked to me so casually, and well, we just connected. Too much fun.

And oh, how the female mind works. ... I've been having a hard time not thinking about him since the open house. It is really obnoxious being a girl sometimes. My mind is running way ahead of reality. "Did he think I was cute? Is that why he was so attentive?" "Maybe he really will come to church, like he said." "And we could get to know each other ..." Ha! Need I say more? What a dork. If you're a woman reading this, do you know what I'm talking about? Has a cute guy ever paid attention to you, and you ran away with it? Hahaha! I'm laughing out loud once again. Ridiculous. ... Oh, well ... I'm young. I'm single ... very single. I'm allowed to admire God's good work. ... I'll keep being patient though ... God's got somebody for me ... someday. :)

What a hoot ...

The Way God Sees 'Em ....

"Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'"
Matthew 19:14

See them the way God sees them.

These thoughts were going through my head this afternoon.

I've been so impatient with my after school kids lately. It's been so difficult. I love my kids. I really do. I just have a rough time be patient with them. I've got 21 kids in my group. Usually, 16 to 18 of 'em show up at a time, and that's a lot of kids for one person. Whew! And almost all of 'em are crazy! Put 'em all together, and it's utter chaos every Monday through Friday.

This is week #6 for me, and I just can't get the hang of this patience thing with these little people. It makes me really discouraged. Blah! But this afternoon, on my way home from after school, I was thinking about our lesson about patience yesterday during Sunday School. The first step toward developing patience in our lives was "See people the way God sees them." And that thought came to my mind as I was driving home from an afternoon with my little crazies! I need to change the way I look at my kids. Yes, I love them. But no, I'm not being patient with them. I'm not seeing them the way God sees them.

And when I think about me and my after school kids, I think of God and us, His people. Does God get impatient with us when we choose to do the wrong thing over and over again, when we act crazy, when the world these days is utter chaos because it's full of crazy people???? No.

NO.

God is ALWAYS patient with us. Sure, sometimes He gets stern with us 'cause we need that from time to time. But He always stays calm. He always loves us no matter what junk we've gotten ourselves into or how often we disobey Him.

If I could grab hold of that mindset and use it with my after school kids, oh, it would be so much better at after school. I can't hinder my kids anymore with my impatience. I must see them the way God sees them, and I must remember that, if I am patient with them, they might see Jesus in me. And they need to see Jesus, know Him, make Him their Savior, so that they will inherit the kingdom of Heaven someday.

Walking in the Spirit is not an easy task ....

Lord,
Why is it so hard to walk in the Spirit? I fall into the same sins over and over again. I feel remorse and ask for forgiveness over and over again. But why? Why, Lord? Why can't I get this right? I want to honor you. I want to be the best me I can be. I want to truly and completely walk in the FREEDOM you've given me. You set me FREE so that I could be FREE! So why am I not FREE? How can I get out of these sin habits? How can I throw off my selfish desires and want ... no, be desperate for what you desire for me?
Oh, Lord! I fail you oh, so often! How do I stop? And how do I start living all for you?
In SoZo last week, we talked about what it means to walk in the Spirit. We talked about reading your word and applying it to our lives - living it out each day. We talked about loving and encouraging your people - pointing them to you. We talked about seeking out the calling you've placed on our lives and then living it. These are ways that we can walk in the Spirit - part of what it means to walk in you. But Lord, it's gotta be more than that!
What? What, Lord, does it mean to really WALK IN THE SPIRIT?
Please teach me. Please continue to teach me each day to walk in you ... and to walk in you with all my heart! Help me flee from temptation that so often leads me into sin ... and sins that I've struggled with for such a long time. Help me get out of the sin once I've gotten myself into it. Don't let me keep wallowing, swimming, even basking in it, Lord! Oh, Jesus! Change me from the inside out! Whatever it takes, Lord, to make me more like you - do it!
Help me grow to my full potential ... to know you better and to love you more with each day, each moment ... and to honor you with every aspect of my life. And also, to gain and maintain an eternal perspective in all things. Oh, Lord ... keep convicting me. Keep encouraging me. Keep making me into the woman of God you desire me to be. I will never stop striving after you ... no matter how much opposition I face - within myself, within this world, withing my walk with you ... I will never give up serving and seeking and loving you. Teach me what it means to truly love you with all that is in me! Please forgive me, and make me stronger. Be glorified in me, Lord. I love you.

All In 2010 ... 8 Months Late

So ... the following was a blog post I wrote the very first day of this year. I reread it tonight and thought "Oh my gosh! I haven't done this at all this year!" I haven't been "all in" this year. Ugh! I've been so self-centered for the past several months. I've been watching too much TV and not reading my Bible enough and not spending time praying for others like I used to ... and sinning more. Wow ....

So I want to take a look at this post again.
Here it is ....

Today, I was brushing my teeth, getting ready for a cold day of football with some good friends ... and I stopped brushing in the middle of this thought ...

I was thinking about last night. I met with some close friends for a New Year's Eve get-together. We played games, ate some good food, and laughed a lot together. It was a good time. While I was there, though, I got to thinking about how my friendships with these friends have grown a little distant lately. They are, without a doubt, some of my best friends, but we haven't spent much time together lately ... or really talked much either. We've all just been so busy! So we haven't had (or made) the time to nurture our friendships recently. And that's where the thought started. While I was brushing my teeth, my mind connected this thought with my relationship with Jesus. ..... When I don't spend time with Him, our relationship becomes a bit distant. Just like my best friends and I haven't been staying in touch as well and have grown a little distant so has my relationship with Jesus become distant because I haven't been really communing with Him for several months.

It's so true. Relationship is about togetherness. It's about that word communion that I threw at y'all in an earlier post ... it's about "an interchange of thoughts, about giving and receiving" ... things you can't do if you don't spend time with one another.

On Sunday, my pastor continued our study of the book of John, and toward the end of his sermon, he said three little words that I want to dedicate my life to this 2010.

I'm all in.

Yep ... this year, I want to wake up each day with "I'm all in" on my lips. I want to say "Lord, I'm yours. Use me. Mold me. Break me if need be. Just do your work in my life today. I want to be all for you." And part of that ... if not nearly all of it ... is communing with God. I can't be "all in" if I don't spend time with God. ....... So that be the goal. :) That be the grace God showed me today. GOD WANTS TO BE IN RELATIONSHIP WITH ME! He's been calling. He's been waiting. Which is grace in action. Grace is getting what we don't deserve. I don't deserve a God who wants to be in relationship with me so badly that He'll wait forever for me to come around if He needs to. He patiently waits at the door of my heart, gently knocking, saying "If you'd only let me in, you could have a life more abundant than you could ever imagine."

God's grace. Thank you, Jesus.
So today and everyday, Lord ... I'm all in.

John 10:10
... "Jesus came that we may have life and have it abundantly."


Man. That's deep stuff ... commitment kinds of stuff. And I didn't COMMIT myself to Christ this 2010. But wait! It's still 2010! And even if it wasn't, I could still start over. And that's what I'm doing - now.

Lord, forgive me for my selfishness.
Help me be all in.

When a Heart is Set on the Things Above ....

Well, Judy just posted a simply amazing and simply authentic post about changes going on in her life. I found myself touched by her post ... and it also got me thinking about the changes in my life ... but more importantly, the lessons I am learning from those changes. In writing a reply to her "I'm Still Alive" post, my thoughts just kept coming! My reply to her is one of the deepest ponderings I've had in awhile .... kind of like a breakthrough almost. I've been so caught up in myself for quite sometime, but God has still been at work - by His mighty grace! And it has been great to simply write and think and dwell on the mind of Christ in me. I wanted to share my ponderings with anyone who wants to read 'em. I hope it touches your heart ... 'cause wow, it is still touching mine.

Life IS changing, isn't it? *Big Sigh* Gosh. That makes me sigh and feel overwhelmed and gets me excited and terrifies me and gives me a deep sense of longing and sadness and joy all at the same time. How does that happen? How can we FEEL so much at one time?

I'm not a mother of four boys. I'm not a mother of anyone - ha! I'm not a wife or a sage (like you!). I'm not acquiring new people into my family (scary, huh? imposing a little, maybe? exciting, too?). But I'm going through lots of changes as well. So much change! Almost all of my friends are getting married, married, having babies, moving away. I'm a college graduate, but I don't like my major. I want to teach, but I can't. I want to work with youth ... and I am. But only part-time? Do I go on to Bible college? Do I find an internship across the world? Do I sign myself up for Eharmony??? .... Ha! Umm ... let's answer "no" to the last one. Haha! .... It weighs on me some days. But it also excites me! "It" being change.

But I'm learning through it all ... slowly but surely ... that God is in control ... that He loves me always ... that His plans are being carried out in ways that never entered my mind ... that He teaches me and pushes me and gives me glimpses of grace no matter how unfaithful I am to Him ... that He is orchestrating every single detail in my life - the exciting ones and the disappointing ones. It has been a long road, and the road continues still ... but I am finally learning lessons - beginning to reap tangible lessons about His working in times of waiting and longing, His healing in times of deep hurts and disappointments, His faithfulness in my unfaithfulness, His grace in all things.

Eternal perspective. I think that's the bottom line, the ultimate lesson that He has been pressing upon my heart and mind all of this time. I don't have it down pat yet, but it sure is amazing to FEEL the progress. I just keep remembering Colossians chapter 3 ... I've memorized the first 17 verses, and they are amazing! God often brings me back to verses 2 and 3: "Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God." ... I must keep looking to Christ. I must keep seeking the things of His Kingdom. I must remember that my life is so hidden in Christ that it is not even mine anymore.

Therefore, every change ... every hardship ... and aren't those the same thing nearly all of the time? ... every one of them ... God uses them for our good and His glory. And if we really stand back and look at every big and little detail of our lives with an eternal perspective, with Jesus' eyes, then we will see just that - that God is orchestrating all of it. ... Oh, Lord, that we might see with Your eyes! Make us more like you.

No more laxness

Golly! This morning was rough. I was in a terrible mood, and every little thing set me off. Have mornings like that from time to time? Sure ... we all have bad moments, bad mornings, bad days ... sometimes bad weeks, months, or years ... seasons in our lives. But hopefully, only from time to time!!! Today was one of those times. I woke up a bit grouchy. I stayed up too late last night (The Gaither Vocal Band is a GOOD reason to stay up late, but still ...). I was a little grouchy ... I don't like to get up early. But a couple of things happened (nothing big at all) ... that set me off in a state of bad attitudeness. Blah. And it was bad. I was super grouchy, and eventually, I started crying. Sheesh. I was being a baby, really ... upset ... stressed, really ... about a couple of silly things not worth getting upset over (like nearly everything I get "upset" over).

Sure, these "bad" things that popped up could have caused my bad attitude, but really, ultimately, it boiled down to a lack of God's Word in my heart and mind. Any time I get lax in my Bible reading, my attitude really, REALLY suffers. I've been reading a bit this week ... I've been memorizing Colossians 3:1-17 ... but I haven't been spending real, quality time with Jesus ... really taking the time to get into the Word. Hence, my bad attitude. Bluck. :(

I've been in and out of this laxness over the past year. Man. It's awful. So I'm gonna take the 21-day challenge given by one of my guys. Andy's been leading our SoZo Sr. High Bible Study for a few months now ... and he challenged us with the 21-day challenge a couple of weeks ago ... I did nothing. But I'm gonna try again! Read my Bible for 21 days ... and get BACK INTO the habit. Sad that I need to do that .... but sometimes we get our mind off of the things above and on the earthly things ... and we need our perspective changed.

Come with me! Have you been struggling to make Jesus your all? Take the 21-day challenge with me! It'll change us ... for life! :)

50% Sanguine, 30% Choleric, 15% Melancholic, and 5% Phlegmatic

Well, it's official ... ha, it was probably official a long time ago ... I will NEVER be consistent with my blog posts!!!! I am, yet again, over a week behind with my GoGs. It is tough getting one in every single day! .... So ... to give y'all (and myself) a little break from the same kind of post ... I'm gonna finish a post I started a while ago ... here goes.

Quite a while ago, Judy Nilsen posted on her blog about the 4 Temperaments ... so you may already know about these ... but I'd like to take a look into them as well. Initially, I was just gonna take a look at the Sanguine ... 'cause I thought I was strictly that spunky little guy .... but after beginning to read another book about the temperaments, I think I've come to the conclusion that I am (roundabout) 50% Sanguine, 30% Choleric, 15% Melancholic, and 5% Phlegmatic. In case you don't know or remember what each of the temperaments are, read below .....

Phlegmatics are natural peacemakers. They are the quiet observers in the group, content to sit back and take one day at a time without getting their feathers ruffled. Phlegmatics get along with practically everybody. They need a sense of respect, feeling of worth, and emotional support. They do not lack for friends because they enjoy people and have a natural dry sense of humor. Being easygoing and content are great qualities, but when taken to the extreme, the phlegmatic can be seen as indecisive, lazy, and unmotivated. And under all that reserve, there is a hidden stubbornness.

Melancholics are thinkers. Many artists, poets, and musicians are melancholics. Their analytical minds also make them great in mathematic and engineering fields. Much more reserved than extroverts, melancholics prefer a quiet atmosphere and choose friends cautiously. They often exhibit a servant's heart from which other temperaments can learn. They have a need for a sense of stability, space, silence, and support. They usually find their greatest meaning in life through personal sacrifice. They seem to have a desire to make themselves suffer and will often choose a difficult life vocation involving great personal sacrifice. Once chosen, they are prone to be very thorough and persistent in their pursuit of it and are more than likely to accomplish great good. On the downside, melancholics can become moody and easily depressed. Perfectionist attitudes can also give way to criticism of self and others.

Cholerics are considered natural-born leaders. They are the ones who get things done - their way. Cholerics believe they are always right and know exactly the way something should be handled. They are great in an emergency because they make quick, correct judgments, but they can sometimes blow the wind out of an unsuspecting sanguine who is not as organized or as driven. From others, cholerics need to feel a sense of obedience, appreciation for accomplishments, and credit for a job well done. They thrive on activity; in fact, to him, "life is an activity." They do not need to be stimulated by their environment, but rather stimulate their environment with their endless ideas, plans, and ambitions. In the negative, cholerics are often considered too bossy, insensitive, or impatient.

Sanguines love to have fun. Put them in a room with people, and they have a great time. They are easy to get along with; people generally like them. Sanguines are very expressive, enthusiastic, and emotional; and they have a great sense of humor, are creative, and enjoy people. They need attention, affection, approval, and acceptance. They never lack for friends. Their naive, spontaneous, genial nature opens doors and hearts to them. They can genuinely feel the joys and sorrows of the person they meet and have the capacity to make him feel important, as though he were a very special friend. They enjoy people, do not like solitude, but are at their best surrounded by friends where they are the life of the party. Their noisy, blustering, friendly ways make them appear more confident than they really are, but their energy and lovable disposition get them by the rough spots of life. On the downside, they are usually considered scatterbrained or disorganized, not detail oriented, often gullible or naive, and seldom serious minded.

(Descriptions of each temperament taken from Focus on the Family's Women of Worth women's series of significance and Tim LaHaye's Spirit-Controlled Temperament)

Now ... I say50% Sanguine, 30% Choleric, 15% Melancholic, and 5% Phlegmatic because .....

~ Well ... just one conversation with me, and you can tell I'm mostly Sanguine! - Very spazzy, upbeat, and restless. ----- I love people; I love to have fun; I'm very expressive (another word for spazzy, in my book!), enthusiastic (passionate!), and emotional; I am compassionate (really take on and sympathize with the emotions of other people, especially, those I care about most; I'm pretty noisy and friendly and love to be the center of attention; I need approval ... I can't let go if someone doesn't like me or decides not to be my friend anymore; I'm gullible, creative in my own way, have a pretty goofy sense of humor, and people generally like me. :)

~ I didn't start thinking of myself as a choleric person until I talked to my mom and dad about my temperament recently. I've been pretty discouraged about my "spaztivity" ... and yes, I made of a new word. :) ...... I am fairly out there .... not toooo weird, I don't think ... ha! ;) ... But I am definitely my own person. I love what my dad said on Sunday night .... "Mical, you are your own person. There is not anyone even near to who you are ... and I mean that in the best way." Ha! It made me laugh pretty hard. But it's true. Sure, we're all different .... but Mical Masterson is just a super unique kind of person .... she thinks about things completely differently than just about everyone else on the planet! But back to choleric ... where did all of that come from? ... you might ask. I've been discouraged about my Sanguineness .... about who I am ... thinking that I'm "ruining" God's plans by being "this way." ..... But God has been confirming in my heart through various people (a complete stranger, even! You'll hear about him in one of my upcoming GoGs), books, and through His still, small voice .... that He CREATED ME "THIS WAY!!!!" He made me 50% Sanguine, 30% Choleric, 15% Melancholic, and 5% Phlegmatic (or whatever I truly am - I'm just taking a stab at this percentage thing)!!! He WANTS me "this way!!!!!" And He has a PURPOSE for me being "this way!!!!!!!" Isn't that amazing!!!!!!???

Ha! None of that really goes with Choleric, does it? I thought I was gonna bring it back, but I didn't. It was a valuable tangent though ... like all of my tangents are .... rriiigggghhtt .... hahaha! Okay ... well, I've got quite a bit of Choleric in me because ... I'm driven and opinionated and fairly independent. I am very passionate, and when I get an idea or a calling, I run with it - and run hard after it! I'm "always right" ... or so I think ... I have lots of soapboxes (so I'm opinionated) ... I've always been a leader, not likely to follow a crowd. I'm organized and have lots of ideas ... and I thrive on keeping busy - life is always more productive and more enjoyable and has more purpose when I'm busy doing something .... at times, it's just "busy work," but I think a lot of the time, I'm busy serving or being productive - overall, at least. :)

~ Melancholic - I'm a bit of an "artist" - music, creativity, and the like - at least. :) I strive to have a servant's heart ... I've been told I have one. I like to and often ponder on the deep issues of life and of my faith in Jesus. I also need my space at times. I LOVE people! I wouldn't be able to live without them .... and, almost always, I am more energized by being with people than by being alone. But from time to time, I need to get away and be by myself. I've gone on a 3-day camping trip to Turkey Run or taken a one-day mini-road trip to the Indiana Dunes or a hiking trip at a state park by myself to get away for some deep thinking and rejuvenation - away from the hustle-bustle of life and chaos and hard work of relationships. I've also chosen to work in youth ministry - which is a "career" deeply rooted in self-sacrifice .... and I pursue it consistently, with all I am. I also have perfectionist tendencies that make me criticize myself ... and even others sometimes ... but mostly myself.

~ And lastly, the phlegmatic personality .... my dad is very much this temperament ... but not me! Ha! It's the easy-going temperament. People with this personality don't worry about the little things ... they don't even worry about the big things. Whew! I WISH this was me! .... I am a natural peace-maker, and I don't lack for friends .... but other than that, I am far from "not getting ruffled."

It's been great looking into these temperaments on a deeper level. It's really helping me see myself in a new light .... helping me see that GOD, the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe, made me in a specific way, for a specific purpose, and He not only created me THIS specific way, but He WANTS me this specific way!!!! Amazingness!

Contentment, Trust ... Oh, the Lessons!

"How does God enable us to be content? He infuses contentment into us through His Word. As it seeps into our minds, it transforms us. Just as a cup of tea gets stronger when we give it time to steep, so we become more content when we spend time in God's Word and allow it to seep into our lives, transforming us to be like Him."

- Page 15 of Calm my Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow

So that's why I've been so discontent lately. ... I've been really struggling in my prayer and devotions life for several months. I've wanted to grow. I've wanted to draw close to the Lord. But I haven't wanted to do the work. Like any relationship that is worthwhile, walking with the Lord is hard work. Anything good (anything GREAT!) does not come easily. ... But this is my relationship with God I'm talking about? Isn't that supposed to be the greatest desire of my heart? Why haven't I wanted to put forth this "work" so that I can simply BE with Him? ... Well, it all comes down to my own selfishness getting in the way ... but that's not really where I was headed.

The ladies from Grace Fellowship Church, my beloved second church home, are headed to their annual ladies' retreat next month. I was privileged to join them last March and had an amazing time! Sadly, I can't go with them this year. But Cindy told me about the retreat and about the book that they are basing the discussions on ... Calm My Anxious Heart. When Cindy told me the book (and the retreat) was all about contentment, I knew I had to grab hold of this book. So I picked it up at the Christian bookstore a few days ago. And my "love for reading" (yeah right) kept me from starting it until tonight. It's really good so far ... hence, pulling the quote and talking about it here. :)

There's even a 12-week devotional in the back of the book ... so I'm set for the next several weeks. :) ..... God's been dealin' with me on several issues recently. I think I'm growing in this season of waiting and change ... and God wants me to grow all the more. And I do too! More and more, I find myself wanting to be all in. And I find myself slowly coming out of my spiritual slump ... desiring more of Jesus above all else. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be? ;) .... God wants me to put away my selfish ambition. He wants me to trust Him completely with the NOW versus my future. He wants me to be content in this crazy season of friends leaving me either through marriage and babies or distance and not having a husband and not passing the Praxis ... etc. He wants me to learn to know Him better and to love Him more with each day ... with every breath.

Contentment is only one lesson. But I only have one life. So let's learn this lesson of life ... a content life ... content in Christ alone. :)

Samwise and Us

The Lord of the Rings has been one of my favorite movies since it came out a few years ago. I went out and bought the extended edition trilogy as soon as it came out in stores. The story of Frodo and the Fellowship is pretty great, but what I loved most about the story was one little character - Samwise Gamgee. I fell in love with him after seeing the movies once. (I'm sure I would be even more in love with him if I read the books, but y'all know me ... I don't read. So we'll just stick with his movie character self, which is pretty daggone heroic and honorable and loyal and all of those good qualities.)

I love Samwise because he is all of those things I just mentioned and so much more. He is, in many ways, my hero! No joke! It's goofy ... but if you think about who Sam really is, he is an amazing example for us to follow, and we can connect his life and his loyalty to Frodo to us and our loyalty to Christ.

Stay with me ... this is good.

Sam CHOSE to follow after Frodo in his mission of the ring.

Sam not only followed Frodo but PROTECTED him and STAYED TRUE to him.

In other words, he was LOYAL beyond imagining.

Sam laid his life on the line for Frodo every single day of the journey.

It did not matter what he might endure, Sam was not about to let anything bad happen to Frodo.

He was not about to let Gollum turn Frodo from the path of Mount Doom if he could help it!

Sam gave up his food and drink so that Frodo could go on.

Sam fought, defeated, and almost died protecting Frodo from Shelob.

Sam carried Frodo up the side of Mount Doom.

Sam is truly amazing.

No matter what the cost, he carried on (and carried Frodo!), honoring Frodo, and really, the rest of the Fellowship and all of Middle Earth, by remaining loyal, steadfast, courageous, and selfless even when it cost him everything. Wow ... I love Samwise!

Sam could be seen as Jesus in our lives .... he gave up everything so that we could live.

But I want to look at Sam as being us ... or rather ... how we SHOULD be.

Sam is our example in this case.

He served and loved and remained loyal to his master (Frodo) no matter what the cost.

Are we doing that for our Master and Lord, Jesus Christ?

I want to!

I want to be loyal to Christ no matter what!!!

To be loyal means to be faithful.

And as I've thought more and more about this character,Samwise Gamgee, I've thought more and more about what it would take to be like him. And I've come up with three important things.

#1 - Prayer.

I cannot be loyal to Christ on my own. I am fallen and lazy and selfish. I do not want to work at this thing called a relationship with Jesus in and of myself. So I must ask ... I must CRY OUT to Jesus to help me say "NO!" to my fleshly desires and instead, live a life that honors my Master.

Psalm 86:11 says, "Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in Your truth; give me an undivided heart that I may fear Your name." ... That's what it takes. If I want to be completely loyal to my Master, I must ask Him for His help.

#2 - Obedience.

My two favorite scenes in the entire LOTR trilogy show Sam living in obedience, sacrifice, and loyalty to his master, Frodo - when Sam fights and defeats Shelob in her lair and when he carries Frodo up the side of Mount Doom. In Shelob's lair, we see Sam crying over Frodo's (presumed to be) dead body. "Don't go where I can't follow," Sam says to Frodo, as he cries for the loss of his friend and master. At the foot of Mount Doom, Sam shouts, "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you," as he picks Frodo up and carries him, with tears in his eyes. .... That's what we need to do. Just as Sam was obeying his promise to stick with Frodo every step of the way, no matter what, we also need to obey Christ in every area of our lives ... even to the point of tears. Joshua 22:5 says, "But be very careful to keep the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the Lord gave you: to love the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways, to obey His commands, to hold fast to Him and to serve Him with all your heart and all your soul." We must hold fast to Jesus, remain faithful to Him, obey Him, and serve Him ... love Him with all that we've got! That, is when we walk in true obedience.

#3 - Sacrifice.

Sacrifice is probably the most important thing to keep in mind when striving to remain loyal to Christ. Keeping Christ at the center of our lives does not come easily. As depraved beings, we desire selfish, sinful things. We don't want to work. We don't want to be pure and lovely and excellent and praiseworthy. We don't want to honor Christ .... not in and of ourselves, we don't. So loyalty requires sacrifice. Matthew 16:24-25 says, "Then Jesus said to His disciples, 'If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for Me will find it." Jesus told us ... warned us that living for Him is not easy ... far from it. He told us ... "Hey, look here ... if you really want to follow Me as my closest friends and companions, you must deny yourselves. You must get rid of yourselves! You must forget your desires and take on Mine!" That's a hefty order, eh? .... God wants us. He wants ALL of us. And that's what loyalty is ... giving God EVERY piece of yourself. Did you get that, Mical? Being loyal to Christ is giving Him, entrusting Him with, and honoring Him with EVERY piece of your life.

Sam gave up EVERYTHING to follow Frodo, to serve him, protect him, love him ... honor him. And we must do the same.

Communing with God

So it's been awhile, eh?

I think it's been awhile since my last post because I haven't been consistent in my relationship with Jesus lately. A lot, if not most, of my thoughts on this blog have to do with my walk with the Lord ... and well, I haven't really been growing lately. And I haven't been growing because I haven't been consistent in my walk. Therefore, no thoughts to blog about.

So here are a few thoughts I'd like to post ... and I'm hoping that writing 'em down will help motivate me to work on them a little harder.

I spoke at the Danville Middle School FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes/Anybodies) a couple weeks ago, and the following thoughts are what I shared with them. I admitted the same lack of motivation to them. I admitted that I am just not motivated to spend time with the Lord these days. And I don't know why. It is starting to weigh on me though ... or rather, Jesus is really starting to convict me about it.

So here's what I'm thinking ....

In light of my lack of motivation, I decided to think about why it's important to spend time with God ... and not just spend time with Him but spend quality time with Him - communing with Him.

Communing with God

Communion - "fellowship; interchange of thoughts or interests;

a state of giving and receiving."

Now that we know what communion is .... why is communing with God so important?

I'm gonna share 5 reasons with you.

In no way is this an exhaustive list, but it's a good start. :)

#1 - RELATIONSHIP

Communing with God means having a meaningful relationship with Him. When we become Christians, we develop a relationship with God. .... Think of your best friend. Think of any friend that you have. Can you be in relationship with them if you don't spend time with them?

#2 - THE GLORY OF GOD

Glory - "the highest degree of pleasure; satisfaction; pride."

As Christians, we should want to bring joy (or pleasure) to God. We should want Him to be proud of us. Don't you want God to be proud of you? I know I do! Being in relationship with God makes Him proud of us because we are living out the calling He placed on our lives. And that calling is, simply put, to live in relationship with Him. Communing with God satisfies His desire for us to be in relationship with Him.

#3 - ATTITUDE

I don't know about you, but when I don't spend time with God, the first sin that I fall into is having a bad attitude ... more specifically, being impatient ... with everything! I also don't live in joy because when I don't spend time with God, I lose my sense of purpose. My purpose in life is to be in relationship with Jesus Christ. When I do not spend time with Jesus, I lose my joy.

#4 - LACK PURPOSE

I've said it .... at least twice now.

Being in a relationship with Jesus is our purpose in life.

God created us to glorify Him. God created us so that we could be in relationship with Him and so that He could be in relationship with us. So when we don't spend time with Jesus, we have no reason to live - we have nothing to live for.

#5 - FIND GOD'S COMMANDS/PROMISES

When we spend time with God (read God's word and talk with Him), we know how He wants us to live. We know how to honor God with our lives. And when we know how to honor God, we know how to live out our purpose because honoring God is our purpose. We can also find God's promises and learn to hold on to them in good and bad times.

So what does all of this mean? Or rather ... how do we do this? How do we commune with God?

The first step???

Denying ourselves.

Then Jesus said to the disciples, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross, and follow me. If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for me, you will find true life."

Matthew 16:24-25

Whew! Now that's a load of conviction!!! "You must put aside your selfish ambition." Wow. 'Cause that's what it really boils down to ... and Jesus knows it. When I choose to be inconsistent in my walk with the Lord ... when I choose to watch a movie instead of reading my Bible or turn on my iPod instead of talking to God ... I am putting ON my selfish ambition rather than putting it ASIDE! Man. That's rough.

But that's what Jesus asks ... what He demands of us. What He demands of ME. That's what it takes to be His follower.

So it looks like I've got some work to do, huh?

Let's start over today ... right now.

Lord, help me put aside my selfish ambition and follow You with all my heart and mind and life! Be the center of me. Give me an undying passion for You. Be glorified in me!

Motivation, here I come!

I'm standing at a computer in the new campus center on IUPUI's campus. Today has been a real struggle. I am so tired of school. But not just tired of being in school ... almost to the point of totally dismissing all of my classes and doing just barely enough to get by.
Giving up is not an option.
Quitting when you're 12 weeks from graduation would be the lamest thing you could ever do.
The "you" being me.
So I will not give up.
But I do want to just slide by. I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of going to class. I'm tired of being a college student.

Some questions on my mind today ....
Why must I continue in a degree that I do not want?
Why couldn't I pass that silly test and be a college graduate who now teaches at a public middle school or high school ... loving on kids and helping them enjoy English?
Why do I lack so much motivation? And it's not just this semester ... it's been lacking for so long!

I've been thinking about this a lot lately ... my lack of motivation. And I'm tired. Ha! I'm tired of school, yes. But I'm tired of being tired of school!
So today ... starting right now ... I'm gonna work harder at finishing strong.
I don't want to do the bare minimum ... and I don't want to dread every second of class and every second of homework.
Today!
Today begins a new day!
I'm moving towards motivation!!!!

Ha! So why do you all care about my lack of motivation?
Oh wait! You don't. Or, well ... maybe you do. But why blog about it? Ha ha!
This post is simply for me!!!!
Maybe writing down my commitment to be motivated will help me do so!
Let's finish it up with a prayer, shall we?

Lord Jesus,
I need your help! I am so done! I am so over this thing called school. Yes, I want to be challenged. Yes, I want to work hard. But not towards a major that I don't want. Not toward classes like The History of Television that are completely pointless and boring. I'm just being honest here, Lord. :) Please give me the strength to persevere through these last 12 weeks of classes and tutoring and homework and commuting. 12 weeks, Lord! I'm almost done! Please help me live out Colossians 3:23 when it says, "Whatever you do work at it with all your heart as for the Lord and not men." Help this be true in my life. When I'm lacking motivation, help me remember this verse. It's been coming to mind lately, and although I don't like the conviction, I need it! So please keep bringing it! Help me, Jesus! Surround me. Motivate me. Give me joy in this season of my life. Thank you, Lord, for all that you do and all that you will do. I am so excited for the future even though I have no idea what you're gonna do. Thank you, Lord. Be glorified in me. Oh, please be glorified in me. I love you, Lord!

The Status

So ... in light of my last post .... Hannah told me it was fairly depressing.
I'm gonna post another short thought.

If you have facebook, you know that writing in some kind of status is "the thing to do" in the facebook world. And it's tons of fun!
I change my status all the time ... what's up with that, by the way?
Why is telling the world what you're doing so much fun?
Am I prideful? Obsessed with myself? Lacking a life? Ha ha ha!
Anyway ... getting off again. :)
So here's a status for today .....

Mical Lynn Masterson is excited about life because even though love is often hard ... it is so worth it in the end. She would not trade the people she's loved and been hurt over for the world. And she would not trade the lessons she's learned. :) She's gonna stick to one of her favorite quotes when it says: "Love deeply. Live fully. Laugh loudly."

Life is good 'cause God's so faithful. :)
Have a fantastic week, everyone!

The God of the Heart

Alright. So I finally finished reading Having a Mary Spirit.
Amazing book!
I've decided it's the best non-Bible book I've ever read.
I think it's because it really began to help me deal with some matters of the heart that I've been leaving alone for far too long.
Ladies, if you've been struggling with some sins - deep down - you should read this book.

The more I grow to know and love Jesus, the more I realize that He is the God of the heart.
He really, really, really cares about what our hearts look like.
He does not care about our outward appearance, how much we've accomplished, how we'd like to be seen and treated ... any of those meaningless things.
God cares about the condition of our hearts.

There's a verse God brought to my attention recently that has really stuck with me ... and it sums up my previous statement perfectly.
"You shall remember all the way which the Lord your God has led you in the wilderness these forty years, that He might humble you, testing you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not." Deuteronomy 8:2

This verse is powerful! Powerful because it, in one sentence, reveals to us why God allows trials into our lives. Trials are a huge part of all our lives. Whether they be big or small, they come to us, in some shape or form, every single day. God knew that when He put us on this earth ... so He also gave us direction.

I know that I often ask God "why?" ... Even though He's given me direction and I know the answer to my question, I ask Him. "Why, Lord?" "Why did you allow these friendships to crumble?" "Why did you allow me to give my heart away at the wrong time?" "Why couldn't I have passed that test?" "Why couldn't you have stopped these things from happening?"

God knows what He's doing. Period. No ifs, ands, or buts. No exceptions. No questions or comments or complaints. Just deal with it. ..... But wait!!! We don't have to "just deal with it." God gives us direction in the midst of our "whys?"

He tells us ... right there in Deuteronomy 8:2.
"I led you through these trials for all this time so that I could find out what's really in your heart."
"I want to know ... are you really gonna trust Me and love Me and obey Me no matter what I allow into your life?"
"I allow these trials 'cause I want to watch the way you handle them ... and not just on the outside but deep down, where it really counts."
"I am the God of the heart, and I want to know if your heart really and truly desires to honor Me."

God is the God of the heart, and He really wants my heart and life to honor Him.
And so ... God's been sifting through my heart a lot lately.
It's been a painful process.
I don't want to know that I've been harboring sin.
I don't want to know that I'm not only harboring sin but holding on to sin.
I don't want to know that I'm dishonoring my Lord.
But I do want to know how I can change.
And how can I change, if I don't know I need to change?

God knows what He's doing. Period.
Aren't you glad?

Thorns FOR Grace

Wahoo!
This is good! Get ready! :)

2 Corinthians 12:7-10
"Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me - to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore, I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong."

I'd never really thought about this passage like this before.
And by "this" I mean .....

*God GIVES us thorns in the flesh SO THAT He can GIVE us His grace.
And ...
*God not only allows but GIVES us tough times so that, in those rough circumstances, His grace can CHANGE OUR LIVES.

It's kind of funny how .... I've read these verses for years, especially verse 9, and it's throwin' a new perspective at me today. :) That's one of the coolest things about God's word. You can read it a million times and never grasp everything He wants you to take away from it.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness."

That seems pretty straight forward to me, but when we put it with verses 7, 8, and 10, we see that God doesn't let our thorns "leave" us ... He wants us to understand and experience the power of His grace THROUGH those thorns ... He wants us to understand and experience the power of His grace that not only can, but WILL, overcome our every weakness .......

And ultimately ... CHANGE OUR LIVES.

I Wanna Wait Like This!

My Surrender Sister over at Rant, Repose, and Ruminate posted some amazing thoughts on her blog not too long ago ... and I really got hit with this little snipet.

Let's really learn to wait ... to really savor God's work in our lives as we wait on Him!
Wanna keep trying with me?

"There is a kind of waiting that is good for the soul, it builds it stronger, purges it of all trifling thoughts, purifies the expectations, makes one more like Jesus Christ, and builds a mighty faith within."

Reprogrammed ... Oh Lord, let this be our prayer!

As we reprogram our hearts and our minds to operate according to God's truth .....
our lives are CHANGED.