My Liver Journey

Well, Haddie's down for another short nap, so we'll see if I can get another blog post in real quick ... ha!  'Cause my blog posts are quick ... riggghhhtt. ;)

I was walking with Haddie at the park yesterday, a habit I'm trying to cultivate.  And I was stopped in my tracks by a beautiful scene ... it was just some simple trees and clouds.



But those trees and clouds grabbed hold of my heart and brought tears to my eyes because, for some reason, they reminded me of grace.

I'm kind of on a liver journey, as I'm going to call it.  No, not a body part journey ... a journey to real LIFE.  Over the past 10 years, I have been in bondage to self-condemnation.  It's only been over the past few months that I've come to realize that it is BONDAGE.  My self-condemning ways are not just a daily struggle; they have taken over my life and caused me so much pain.  I started seeing a counselor recently, and he is helping me begin to see where this condemnation is coming from and how to break free from it.  I'm beginning to realize that things as wonderful and godly as my daily prayer and devotional times have caused me pain.  I condemn myself so much if I miss even a day of personal quiet times, and I'm seeing more and more that I constantly try to earn my salvation even though I know it is a free gift from the Lord.

So as I saw these beautiful trees and clouds, I got to thinking ... these parts of nature are beautiful simply because God made them.  And I am beautiful simply because God made me, and I belong to Him as one of His kids because I am a Christian.  I don't have to DO anything to earn that love and beauty.  I just have to be me.  As I walked around the lake and got closer to the trees, I began to see dead places among the trees ... a bunch of dead, brown leaves here, an entire dead, bare tree there.  When I, or other people, look closely at my life, I, or they, see dead places in my life too ... places where I've been hurt, sin I am trying to overcome, bad habits, all kinds of stuff ... but when God looks closely at my life, He sees me.  He sees a beautiful creation.  And He thinks I'm beautiful because I am His.  I.  Am.  His.

I saw such grace in this picture during my walk yesterday.  I was reminded that I am saved and thought of as beautiful and valuable and all good things, not condemning things, because I belong to Jesus, not because I DO everything perfectly or have it all together.  So I'm living my days these days to just live in Christ, not strive (struggle in opposition) all the time.  I don't wanna be a striver anymore ... I've been that my whole life.  I wanna be a liver.  An abundant LIVER!  And I can be because I'm seen through GRACE, not the LAW or my own unrealistic expectations.

And whatta ya know ... Haddie is just starting to stir ... and I got 'er done! :)

The Final GoG ... a couple months early

Well, I am beyond behind with my GoGs once again. I don't think I kept up with 'em for more than a week straight this year. Sheesh. And although the year isn't over yet, I've decided to end my glimpses of grace project early. So, let me post one last GoG to finish out the year ....

I may not have posted something every single day, but I sure did get a lot out of this project. God's grace is such an amazing thing! So much more awesome than we really understand. Without it, we'd all be destined for HELL. So praise You, Jesus, for Your MIGHTY and AWESOME and NEVER-ENDING GRACE in our lives!!! ... Grace is beyond awesome ... and it was such a joy and a wonder to find glimpses of God's grace in the ordinary things of life ... the simple things. And the project has helped me see life in a whole new way. Just think ... grace starts with God giving us another day ... simply waking up to our alarm clock everyday is GRACE. And each of us can find grace in really everything we do and experience. Let me challenge you, as I will challenge myself, to never let a day go by without finding grace in at least one part of your day ... and then thank God for it. Heck, you could even blog about it!

And let me leave you with an amazing passage all about God's grace - it's probably in my top ten favorite passages in all of scripture. Read it. Dwell on it. Let it change you.

Titus 3:3-8
At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived, and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that having been justified by His GRACE, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.

GoG 286: The Mical Who Thinks She's Funny ...

Ya know those people who start telling a joke or something they think is funny but start laughing before they finish?

Umm ... yeah. I'm one of 'em.

Tonight, my parents and I were getting some dessert from The Porch ... we were sitting at the table, chatting about my mom's work day and my dad and I's dinner at McAlister's. At one point, I started to say something that I thought was funny. But as soon as the first word came out, I started laughing .... pretty hard. I could barely stop. And of course, my parents started laughing too. Probably thinking "what the heck? You didn't even finish ... you didn't even start, for that matter!" But I just got goin' ... and I had a hard time stopping. Oh, it was so funny.

So the next time a friend of yours (probably me) starts a joke and can't finish because they're laughing too hard .... just laugh right along with 'em. The joke may not be funny by the time they get it out ... but believe me ... y'all will have a good laugh! ;)

GoG 285: The Hope in Rain :)

Oh, the rain.
The rain was my glimpse of grace for today.
Although it was way too brief, it made me think of HOPE. My hope in Christ. The hope that I have for my future because I belong to God. The hope for cooler weather. The hope for God's grace in my everyday life. :)

Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on us :)

GoG 284: The Sprite

Today's glimpse of grace ... yes, today! Can you believe it? Not last week ... not two months ago - TODAY. Today's glimpse of grace came in the form of a bottle of Sprite.

Miss Sandi, our awesome leader at after school, stopped by my room and gave me a Sprite. It was a gift ... in the midst of the craziness of the day. And it really meant a lot to me.

Oh, the simple things :)

GoG 283: The Patience Lesson

On Sunday morning, we talked about the fruit of patience.
Isn't it amazing how easily patience leaves us?
Seriously, on our way to lunch (less than 2 hours after our lesson) I was impatient about traffic. Wow.

Well, yesterday at after school, I was being impatient with my kids. And on the way home, I remembered our lesson. Don'tcha love it when you remember lessons God is teaching you AFTER the fact? Haha! But at least I remembered it. The lesson concerning patience in which we need to see people the way God sees them - that way we can learn to be patient with them. So I am ready to try out my new patience perspective with my after school kidos today!

GoG 282: The Kindness Discussion at SoZo

Mmm ... our discussion about kindness during SoZo on Sunday night. Man, it was good. We only had 3 youth there (that hasn't happened in probably 2 years or more!), so our discussion was probably even a little better than if everyone had been there. I learned a bit ... that the kindness level of our group isn't very high .... that lots of things go on under the radar that I don't know about .... that I need to be more assertive. It was a great meeting ... very productive, and I think we'll be able to work on the kindness level of our youth group now that we know some of the issues.

GoG 281: The Day in E-ville with Wes :)

On Saturday, I drove to the University of Southern Indiana in Evansville to see my brother for the day. He left for college around the 20th of August, and he hadn't been home since. And he's not planning to come home until Thanksgiving break. Blah. I'm excited for him ... enjoying the college life, being popular, living for the Lord, loving life. But I'm sad that he's gotta be 3 hours away to do all of that. So it was really great to see him on Saturday.

He said, more than twice, that he was glad to see him ... that he was glad I was there. And that, of course, made my day. The two of us and his roommate, Luke, went to Red Robin for lunch - I bought Wes his lunch - and then we went to the mall ... where Wes talked to every salesperson in the place. After the mall, we headed back to Wes' apartment, he changed his shirt into the one he just bought, and we headed to campus, where he showed me every building he's ever been in. Haha! He made us some chicken alfredo for dinner ... we took a few pictures ... he gave me a hug, and I head home.
All in all, a very good day with the little brother :)

GoG 280: The Race in the Church Parking Lot

Last Friday night's taco and movie night was a big success with SoZo. The kids ate ALL of the food I brought and still wanted more. They thought The Sandlot was hilarious. And we all spent a good chunk of time laughing at me for my good mood shinanigans. (When I'm in a good mood, I'm extra bubbly and ditsy and loud and weird.) We had a good time!

And afterwards, when almost everyone had gone home ... Andy, Gabe, Michael, and I were talking in the parking lot. And all of a sudden, Michael asks Andy, "Will you race me?" We were all taken off guard ... so of course, I start laughing. And then Andy and Michael race across the parking lot. Andy won. And then! Gabe wanted to race ME. I was reluctant because I might be the slowest runner on earth. But I finally gave in, and we raced. Of course, Gabe won. He even slowed down for me to give me a chance. It was quite humorous. We all laughed about it afterward.

GoG 279: The Drawing Project at After School

At after school, I started a project with the kids in my group. Partially, because I need some semi-peace and quiet for a few minutes each day, but mostly, because I want to get their "juices" flowing, and I want to get to know them better. (I also got the idea from the movie Freedom Writers ... no, I'm not this cool all by myself - haha!)

We spent a couple days making books for our project. They decorated construction paper; we hole-punched the pages; and we tied the pages together with string. And everyday, for our craft, I have them write the date down on their papers, and I ask them a question. For example, "What is your favorite season? If you could have any pet in the world, what would it be?" And on and on. And each day, they draw a picture to answer that day's question. And then we take turns coming up to the front of the class and sharing our drawings. It's been quite successful in the midst of them being easily distracted. I'm excited about the project!

And last week, one of the boys - his name is Jaxson - drew something entirely precious to me. The question was "Who is someone you admire the most (look up to, think is really cool, etc. - they're 5 years old)?" And Jaxson picked ME! :) He said that I take care of them. And that's why he picked me for someone he admires. I nearly melted into a puddle. :)

GoG 278: The Dinner and a Movie with Liz and Jess :)

Last Wednesday, I invited Elizabeth and Jessica over for dinner, and we watched a movie. We had a great time laughing at old stories, poking fun at the movie characters, and they laughed at me getting lost on my way to Jessica's house. It's such a privilege to work in youth ministry ... to hang out with cool teenagers like Liz and Jess. I love these girlies!

GoG 277: The Senior Night: Jon and Levi :)

Last week, Jon and Levi had their senior night game for soccer. And just like Andy's senior night game, I was so excited to be there. I took pictures (not very good ones ... as you can see), cheered really loud, and was incredibly proud.
These are my guys we're talking about!!!! :)

GoG 276: The Compliment from Andy

I've told you before that Andy is doing an incredible job with Sr. High Bible Study on Monday nights. And a week ago, we had yet another great night of discussion and getting into the Word.

And I found such grace in a compliment that Andy gave me in the middle of the discussion. I was answering a question that he put out there for us, and he kept probing me to get me to say more. At the end, I gave him a funny look, and he said (to me and the rest of the teens there), "Well, I was gonna see what she was gonna say because Mical usually has something good to say ... and she did."

Andy is in my youth group, but I definitely look up to him. He's one of the coolest, most godly guys ever. So a compliment coming from him is the best!

GoG 275: The Catchphrase Game

Too much fun!
Thinking about what God is doing in my life each and every day is so much fun!
Thank you, Jesus, for your GRACE!!! :)

A week ago Sunday, we played the game Catchphrase at SoZo. If you don't know what this game is, let me tell you. It's pretty easy and tons of fun. You have a circular device that, when you push the button on it, a word or phrase comes up on its screen. For example, "motor boat" ... "ferris wheel" ... "pet" ... etc. Everyone sits in a circle, and your team sits every other person. We played guys against girls, so we were seated guy girl, guy girl. You push the button, and you have to get your team to guess what word or phrase is on the screen by describing the it without saying it or any part of the word. Once your team has guessed, you pass it to the person next to you (who is on the other team). There is a timer, and when the timer goes off, whoever is holding the device, loses, and the other team gets a point. It's really fun ... a lot easier than it sounds.

And we had a great time with that game. Sadly, the girls lost terribly both games. And the boys were making beeping noises and yelling totally hilarious and bogus guesses to throw the girls off. It was so much fun! And I found such grace in laughing with my kids. :)

GoG 274: The Football Game and GVB Concert :):):)

On October 2, I played football with Adam and Jason and the gang. I'm probably the worst player out there, but they always ask me to play. I'm an extra body on the field. Well, Andy plays with us too. And he ended up being the quarterback for a while ... and he picked ME to be on his team!!! And he did it just to make my day! And it did!

Later that day, I traveled to Marion, IN, to Indiana Wesleyan, for a Gaither Vocal Band concert. Oh, man, it was good! And once more, I was seating 3 ROWS from the stage! It was so awesome!!!!

GoG 273: The Hi's from My Guys :)

I went to the Danville Homecoming game for football a couple weeks ago. I think it's the second Danville football game I've been to since I graduated from high school. I had a lot of fun cheering for the team, visiting the alumni tent, running into one of my after school kids and her family. But the best part of the night was getting hi's from Jon and Levi.

I was walking to the alumni tent, after putting my nachos and hot dog down at my seat in the bleachers, when I heard a "hey, Mical!" I looked up, and Levi was standing with a couple of his friends ... one of 'em was on the football team.
Later, I was sitting in the bleachers, watching the game, when Levi and Jonathan walked by. Jon glanced up at the bleachers, and then he took a double take 'cause he saw me. He waved and say "hey."

I was so excited. I really was. It made my night that these guys said hi to me. That means I don't embarrass 'em too badly. That they like me. It was just a simple thing that showed me grace and brought me joy.

GoG 272: The Guy at After School

Last week at after school, we had a new guy switch with one of our ladies for a few days. And it turned out to be a guy named Michael Smither. I went to high school with Michael. I didn't ever really talk to the guy ... it was in my brother's grade, a friend of my brother's, but not a person I crossed paths with often. But it was great having him at after school.

Later on the first day he was there, he looked at me during movie time and said, "Hey, Mical, I don't know if you remember me but we went to high school together." And that sparked a whole conversation about what we've been doing since high school, our lack of knowing what life is gonna bring, and after school. I found it to be quite a blessing to talk to a nice guy that I know but don't know well. It's just cool to see how God brings paths together.

GoG 271: The Grace in Los Ra :)

Mmmm .... Los Rancheros is a yummy place. I really like Mexican food!

But Los Rancheros with Hannah Baker? Oh, man! It is super yummy AND super awesome! It is our CCF date place .... and one of my places to eat ever! :)

We have a great chats there ... and share yummy cheese dip ... and always get several refills of sweet tea and Mr. Pibb. Oh, the grace that comes out of Los Ra!!!! :)

GoG 270: The Dance Party!!!

If you know me well at all, you know I LOVE TO DANCE!!!!!!

A couple weeks ago at after school, we turned up the music in our snack room and had a DANCE PARTY!!!!!!
At first, the kids gave me goofy looks ... but after a while, most of 'em joined in. And we had such a good time!!!!

GoG 269: The Senior Night: Andy :)

Andy's senior night! Oh, it was great!
I was so proud!!!! It was a bit ridiculous actually. ;) I took several pictures, and I screamed louder than anyone.

I had to embarrass him a bit, right? ... What a good time! :D