. . . about life lessons, parenting lessons, and faith lessons learned and LEARNING!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Stewin' about ... Chewin' on
I got this post idea from the wonderful Judy Nilsen, and I'm gonna type 'em as I think of 'em. :)
~ Why doesn't God speak audibly?
~ Why does love make you ache sometimes?
~ Why is surrender the hardest lesson to learn when you know that you know that you know that you know ... that God's got it all taken care of?
~ Why can't I read books that I really enjoy? (No, I'm not a reader, but every once in a great while I find a book that I really like - like Passion and Purity, for example - and I can't get myself to read it consistently for my life!)
~ Why can't I sacrifice something as small as TIME for my Lord when He sacrificed His LIFE for me?
~ How do I treat this new girl who's in my brother's life? (Obviously, with kindness ... but I'm not too used to my brother being really stuck on someone ... what is happening?)
~ How can I disciple the girls on the Eastside?
What book of the Bible should we read first?
~ How involved can I get with my youth group, my kids on the Eastside, my church, my small groups, my school work, my .... ?
How do I know when it's time to say "I can't." ? ... "Those are enough commitments for now." ?
~ How do you know when God is saying "go for it!" and when He is saying "no." and when He is saying "wait." ?
~ Where is God calling me when I graduate in 7 months?
How will I know?
~ How do I know if I'm called to the kids of the Eastside?
How do I know when my heart that is seeking Christ is saying "yes!" but my heart has failed me more than once?
~ Why does God put desires in our hearts and then take them away?
~ How is God's grace so big that I have peace in the midst of these chaotic questions about my life? :)
~ How does God do it? --- He keeps putting a smile on my face. :)
PSALM 25:4-5
MAKE ME KNOW YOUR WAYS, O LORD.
TEACH ME YOUR PATHS.
GUIDE ME IN YOUR TRUTH AND TEACH ME.
FOR YOU ARE THE GOD OF MY SALVATION.
FOR YOU, I WAIT ALL THE DAY.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Something Better ....
Monday, May 4, 2009
The Greatest Passion of My Life!!!
I've been working at an after school program on the Eastside of Indianapolis through a church called Shepherd Community Center. My good friend, James, works there, and he asked for volunteers back in January. He said the word, "Kids," and I was doomed. ;) .... I am stinkin' in love with people between the ages of 6 and 16. I am more alive hanging out with them than with anyone! And the kids at this after school program have been the highlight of my life since I started helping out with the program back in January.
They are urban kids. From rough neighborhoods. Many from really messed up homes. Crimes taking place on their streets, on their front porches, in their homes. Drugs. Shootings. Thefts. Sexual abuse. Domestic abuse. Emotional abuse. Neglect. And the list goes on. .... I only know what my friend, James, tells me. I don't see it on a day to day basis like him; he lives on the Eastside. ... All I get to see are the kids - two days a week. And all I know is that I am completely in love with them. I've worked a little in urban kids' ministry over the years. When Wheeler Mission was still doing kids/youth programs, I helped out with a few day/3-day camps for 6 years. I did other, spuradic events through Wheeler as well. And I really enjoyed it! ..... But! But! Working with these kids at after school a couple days a week, on a much more regular basis has helped me love it even more! Heck. Love is not the right word. PASSION. Passionate is a much better word! I am flippin' passionate about these kids! ... I love them so much that I don't know what to do with myself!!! .... This is it! This is what I want to do with my life!
Have you ever found something like this? Have you ever found your passion and had so many ideas, such much desire to DO and to BE and LOVE that you didn't know what to do with yourself? .... Oh, man! I want to be apart of these kids' lives more than I've ever wanted anything! But how? How can I be more apart?
Opportunities are popping up everywhere! I just need to know which doors to run through. Because no, I won't be walking!!! I'm too excited for that! .... If ya'll think about it ... would you pray about this for me? .... I have some great opportunities heading my way ... but I need to know what GOD wants me to do; I need to know which doors to walk through (and at what speed ... maybe I can walk but not run through some ... and maybe I need to shut some doors). I'm continuing to seek the Lord about these things.
Ha! And to think I got on here to write about my progress/crying fits concerning surrendering my love life to Christ. I really am the tangent queen! ;) .... Well, didn't proofread this don't have time 'cause I'm off to be with my after school kids!!!! Ahh!!!! I'm so excited! ... Have a great day all!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
The Name Mical ...
I like my name because it is pretty much the BEST girl's name ever.
I like my name because it is spelled without an "h" and without an "e."
M I C A L .... no "h"; no "e."
I like my name because it draws attention to me. Perhaps I'm vain ... but I like attention. 0:)
I like my name because not many other girls have this name. Unique is good. :)
I like my name because every now and then people will sometimes say .... "Oh, your name is Mical? My cousin's nephew's daughter's name is Mical." Ha! THAT response cracks me up! Some obscure relative has the same name as I do. It just makes me laugh ... really hard. Ha ha ha ha! :D
I like my name because the little kids at after school (or little kids anywhere) will ask me .... "Are you a boy?" ... Yes. I've been asked that more than once.
I like my name because I will sit down at the tutoring table in the writing center, and my tutee will give me a funny look and say .... "Oh. I was expecting a male." A girl I tutored today said that to me, and I let out a chuckle. Too funny.
I like my name because my big brother, Adam, calls me Mike ... and Wes calls me Mike. Mike is my all-time favorite nickname. Probably because my brothers are the only ones who call me that. :)
But .... I don't like my name when people insult my intelligence.
Perhaps I'm prideful and vain and such ... but when I introduce myself and the person pauses and then says .... "Oooh. It's Michelle, isn't it?"
That response drives me absolutely crazy!
NO! I JUST told you my name is Mical. M I C A L. Gosh. I'm not stupid. I know my own name. Daggonit.
.... That's really the only reason I can think of that I don't like my name. It just drives me nuts! I get almost angry. Ask Emily.
Ha ha! Too funny! I thought of this post because I was at McDonald's today ... buying a sweet tea and a McChicken sandwich (a very Mical thing to do ....), and they asked for my name. The girl who took my order believed me the first time. But the guy who called my name ... ha! He was a hoot! He called my name .... got it right. But when I came up to grab my food, and the guy calling my food saw me .... and he said "Mical ... oh ... Michelle?" And I just laughed and said ... "Nope, it's Mical." He then laughed. Wow. I don't think he believed me. .... It made me laugh rather than upset ... but still. It said Mical (probably spelled with the "h" and the "e" - Michael - on the paper) on the daggone receipt, but he couldn't handle the awesomeness of my name! :D
Anyway .... fun story, huh? Hope ya'll are having a great week! :D
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Peace in Surrender
I lay it all down for the sake of You, my King.
I'm giving You my dreams.
I'm laying down my rights.
I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life.
And I surrender, all to You ... all to You.
And I surrender, all to You ... all to You.
The Lord's been really layin' this verse and chorus of the song, "Surrender," on my heart over the past couple of days. ..... I've never quite understood why surrender is such a tough concept for me. I mean, sure ... I'm stubborn, selfish, fallen ... but come on! God has been, is, and continues to be MORE than faithful, MORE than enough, MORE than all I need and want ... and He provides so much MORE than I can imagine ... every single day. Sheesh, Mical. So why is surrendering my desires so hard? It's killin' me! Not so much the surrender part but the fact that I AM SO DAGGONE RIDICULOUS! God has proven Himself over and over and over and over (and .....) again. He has NEVER ever ever ever ever (ever .....) failed me. He is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING .... every single day .... every single MOMENT of my life. ..... But surrender. It is so daggone tiring ... so daggone on difficult ... so daggone opposite of the flesh. Which is why it's so hard. I am flesh. God is holy. Those two things are too opposite to go together .... thankfully, Jesus came along and broke that wall of opposites so that we (the flesh - me .... and God) could live in harmony with one another. And Jesus came along .... surrendering His life .... to enable us to surrender our lives to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and God (one in the same).
Whew! So what does that mean? .....
I
MUST
SURRENDER.
The end.
And in this process of surrender, there is peace. Sweet Jesus peace.
Isaiah 26:3 - The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace because he trusts in You.
.... But that peace only comes when we keep our mind .... our heart .... every nook and cranny of our being stayed upon Him, the Lord, Jesus Christ.
Trust.
Peace comes from trusting in Jesus. Period.
Verse 4 - Trust in the Lord forever, for in God the Lord, we have an everlasting Rock.
Verse 8 - Indeed, while following the way of Your judgements, O Lord, we have waited for You eagerly ......
Ah ha! There's that word again .... "wait." Mmm .... isn't that just becoming your favorite word? Bah! No way! But isn't it funny how God is bringing it up over and over again? .... Think He's trying to get your attention, Mical? Hmm .... ;) ....
The rest of verse 8 - Your name, even Your memory, is the desire of our souls.
The desire of our souls.
The desire of MY soul.
Is He? ..... Are You, Lord?
Precious Jesus, BE the desire of my soul.
Verse 9 - At night my soul longs for You; Indeed, my spirit within me seeks You diligently.
Help me to long for you, O Lord. Help me to seek you with every ounce of my strength .... not just until these areas of my life are surrendered but beyond .... until we meet face to face.
... Peace comes from seeking Christ ... diligently.
Surrender. It must be done. Peace. It's a gift along the way. Embrace it, Mical. Embrace it, everyone! ... How? By seeking God. By trusting Him.
And ya know .... trust is surrender.
When we trust Jesus with our lives, we are surrendering our lives to Him.
Let's give our hearts to Jesus ... and all that is within.
Let's lay it all down because Jesus laid down His very life for us.
Let's give Jesus our every dream.
Let's lay down all of our so called "rights." (Ha! Like we really have any of those!)
Let's give up our pride and live in the NEW LIFE we have in Christ Jesus our Lord!
Oh, everyone!!!!! My heart is crying out! (If you didn't notice). ;) .... I want to surrender ... every nook and cranny of my life to Jesus. I want that NEW LIFE that ONLY comes in an intimate, holy, completely surrendered relationship with Jesus. I'm not there yet. I've got a loooooonnnnnggg way to go. But I can't ever stop striving for that goal. Let's strive together, shall we?
Friday, March 27, 2009
"Little Deaths" ... More Thoughts from Passion and Purity
This is gonna be a long post! So get ready! .... Don't be intimidated by its length ... if you don't have time to read a long post right now, then come back when you do! ... Go grab some hot tea or a bag of popcorn, and then come back and get ready for some powerful stuff! It hit me hard, and I wanna share it with you all. :)
A few posts ago I mentioned that I'm reading Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot. Amazing book. Everyone needs to read it, but especially if you're longing for your guy to come along ... or for the guy you want to come around. ;) It's a book all about giving your love life to Christ. Again ... amazing stuff. ... Well, I was reading this morning, and chapter 15 is crazy good! VERY convicting! And VERY good! .... So! In the following paragraphs, I will share "snipets" from chapter 15 of Passion and Purity, and then chat about them a bit. .... It should be fun! Read on! :)
The University of Oklahoma, where I studied linguistics, has an enormous stadium. Nothing was happening there during the summer, so I often climbed to the top row of bleachers, following supper, to enjoy whatever breeze there might be after the day’s scorching heat, and to watch those sensational Oklahoma sunsets. It was a lovely place to be alone to think, read, and pray.
I was disturbed to find that I could not think, read, or pray except about Jim Elliot. He loomed in every thought, every line I read in the Bible or anywhere else. He got mixed up in the morphology, syntax, and phonetics I was stuffing into my head. He distracted my prayers. It is a good thing the Lord has compassion on all those fear Him, knows how we are made, and remembers we are only dust. He loved us both, knew exactly how we loved each other, and used even the detours to bring us home again. Someone once observed that the toothache you have this very minute is the worst pain in the world. Love sickness may seem a trifle compared with other maladies, but the one who is sick with love is sick indeed, and the Heavenly Father understands that. He steadily draws us along the pathway to glory, if our deepest heart is set on His kingdom, if we are not of those whom Psalm 78:8 describes as “a generation with no firm purpose, with hearts not fixed steadfastly on God.”
I wait. Dear Lord, Thy ways are past finding out, Thy love too high. O hold me still beneath Thy shadow. It is enough that Thou lift up the light of Thy countenance. I wait because I am commanded so to do. My mind is filled with wonderings. My soul asks “Why?” But then the quiet word, “Wait thou only upon God.” And so, not even for the light to show a step ahead, but for Thee, dear Lord, I wait.
This is such a great prayer about waiting!!!!
“When the will of God crosses the will of man,” Addison Leitch said, “somebody has to die.” Life requires countless “little” deaths – occasions when we are given the chance to say no to self and yes to God. The Apostle Paul said, “For continually, while still alive, we are being surrendered into the hands of death, for Jesus’ sake …” It is not that everything that has anything to do with ourselves is in itself wicked and deserving of death. It did not mean that when Jesus said, “Now my will ….” There could not have been even the smallest part of His will that was wicked. It was a choice to lay down everything – the good He had done and the good He might do if He was permitted to live – for the love of God. The same choice is offered to us. To see Bert’s profile, hear him sing; to contemplate the blessedness of marriage as I watched couples who were taking the same course at the university; to call up in memory the sweet anguish of those hours by the Lagoon; to picture Jim’s face as we said good-bye at Union Station – only “little deaths,” but little deaths have to be died just as great ones do. Every reminder that aroused a longing had to be offered up.
Man! This is the toughest lesson ever! It's the biggest lesson I'm learning right now. ..... I don't think my desires are ungodly or selfish .... but I'm confident that my desires are out of God's timing. So ... I MUST offer 'em up to God ... Every. Single. Day. ..... Boy, it's a challenge. It seems like every prayer these days is about ___________. _________ "looms" in nearly every thought. ..... Little deaths. They must happen every day. Every moment of everyday. .... "Every reminder that arouse[s] a longing [must] be offered up [to Jesus]."
I was e-mailing my friend, Alex, about this concept just yesterday, and as I was typing, a thought occurred to me. It relates back to an earlier chapter in Passion and Purity where Elisabeth Elliot states that "Passion is a battleground." Alex and I love word pictures, so I threw out the idea of God being our Commanding Officer ... telling her how thankful I was that HE is our CO. I went on to throw out more ideas concerning this idea. .... God is our Commanding Officer in the battle (the WAR!) of passion. And in this crazy fight, He is the Commanding Officer who not only LEADS us into battle (and out of it) and helps us OVERCOME (or win!) .... He also, and most importantly, LAYS HIS LIFE DOWN FOR EACH OF US. ..... That is powerful! ....... So in return, I should be MORE than willing to lay down my life for my Commanding Officer. I should lay down my life concerning my love life ... I should be jumping on opportunities to die these "little deaths." .... It's crazy-hard work, but passion is a battleground .... and I can't let my guard down even for a second!
The last part of the chapter that I want to share with you is this ....
There is a big however. It is this: We are not meant to die merely in order to be dead. God could not want that for the creatures to whom He has given the breath of life. We die in order to live.
Wow! That is powerful stuff. Listen to that line again .... We die in order to live. ..... It's true! REAL life only comes from knowing Christ, serving Him, and putting Him first in our lives. When we die to ourselves (give up our desires for Christ's), we live! In dying, we live! A crazy concept. Demanding. It requires E V E R Y T H I N G we've got. Period. God's call on our lives is a mighty one. It is NOT for the faint of heart. It is NOT for "Sunday Christians." It is NOT comfortable or easy .... and sometimes it is downright no fun at all ... at times it is the most difficult thing we will ever face. But it is our calling. It is our purpose. It is our life's mission. "Take up your Cross daily, and follow Me." .... Jesus never said it was gonna be easy. What, in that sentence, sounds easy? "Take." That's a command. Commands are not usually easy. "Your Cross." Our Crosses, in this case, are our very lives. Yep ... that's right! Jesus wants it all! Ha! He's not asking for much, is He? ;) .... "Daily." We are to offer up our lives every single day .... not just on Sundays, not just when we feel like it, not just when we're not very busy. And "follow Me." ... Lastly, Jesus calls us to follow Him - trust Him, serve Him, seek Him in all things. ....... Whew!!!! Crazy! Difficult (to say the least)! Purpose. .... OUR purpose. .......... It's not easy (not by any stretch!) ... but let's learn this lesson of DEATH TO SELF so that we can truly LIVE FOR JESUS. :)
Well, as you can see ... Passion and Purity is not a book for the weak-willed or lazy Christian. It is a book with a high standard ... the highest standard there is - God's standard. Please read this book! God is sifting through the silt and rocks (uglies) and the deepest longings (God-honoring parts) of my heart with each page of this book. Convicting me and challenging me in incredible ways! It has NOT been easy, but it's been so good for me! Take the challenge! If you are struggling to bring your love life under Christ's control ... or really ... if you're struggling to bring ANY part of your life under Christ's control ... read this book.
Okay .... I've repeated myself a thousand different ways .... hopefully you get my drift by now. ;) .... Good stuff, huh? ;) .... Let's keep surrendering our lives to Christ ..... everyday. :)
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
This, That, Either, or Neither (AKA Another Stolen Post From Judy!) :)
NEITHER. I don't like animals - any kind. My motto is "When pets attack!"
McDonald's. Best french fries. Sweet tea! Yeah ...
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Clogged with Wishes!
Friday, March 6, 2009
First Things First!
"Put first things first, and we get second things thrown in; put second things first, and we lose both first and second things." - C.S. Lewis
READ THAT AGAIN!
"Put first things first, and we get second things thrown in; put second things first, and we lose both first and second things."
That is big! Wow! Better preachin' than you think!!!! ....... Here's my paraphrase: Put God first in your life, and all else will fall into place. Leave God out of the #1 spot, and everything else will fail. ......... This is a BIG idea! This is a big REALITY!!! Life is pointless, futile ... trifling! ... if we do not make Jesus our E V E R Y T H I N G !!! He MUST be #1! Always and forever!
Jason asked us to think about a few questions ....
* What matters most to God?
* What cause is God most passionate about?
* What is the primary reason God wants us to spread His Gospel?
Think about these questions for yourself ..... what kinds of answers do you come up with?
Now! Read these verses ..... Colossians 1:16-18, Isaiah 43:7, Ephesians 1:6-14, and 1 Peter 4:10-11. .... In case you don't have a Bible handy, I'll give you the "gist" of each passage. These are the "fill-in-the-blanks" that Jason had us fill out.
Colossians 1:16-18
* Christ created all things so that ......... fill in the blank. .... so that "He, Himself, will come to have first place in everything." (NASB)
Isaiah 43:7
* God created us ........... for His glory.
Ephesians 1:6-14
* The ultimate reason God saves us is so that ........ we will praise and glorify Him.
1 Peter 4:10-11
* The primary reason God wants our service is so that ......... we will glorify Him.
Seeing a pattern? ;) ..... Yep, that's right! We are called to GLORIFY GOD. Ya'll can do what you want with these verses. And I challenge you to really read them; dwell on them; soak them up!
And I want to leave you with a passage that Jason left with us .........
1 Peter 2:9-12
"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; for you once were not a people, but now you are the people of God; you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul. Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation." (NASB)
Good stuff, huh? ......... It's all God's words. :)
And think about it ... we were CHOSEN to GLORIFY GOD. This is our P U R P O S E !
What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?
This post is actually a question I asked under the "Question for You" application I used to have on my blog. It's such a good question to think about, and I love my answer! So I couldn't just delete it! :)
What do you want to be/do when you grow up?
Me? .......
I want to finally get this primary calling thing right ... to glorify God by enjoying Him forever. I want Psalm 16:11 to be the center of my entire being, not just sometimes, but on a moment by moment basis ... "In Your presence is FULLNESS of JOY." I want to live in such a way that JESUS is my EVERYTHING! I'm a workin' on it ... but I want to be ever closer to PERFECT joy in Christ!
I also want to work with young people. I want to work ... somehow, somewhere ... with kids, teens, and people young at heart! I want to pour myself into them and be poured into by them! I want to share Jesus with them ... share encouragement with them - "You CAN overcome these hard times! I overcame mine through the power and grace and faithfulness of my awesome Jesus!" ... I want to simply BE with them!
.... Could this mean teaching? I thought so for such a long time ... but I'm waiting on God for that one. Could that mean going into youth missions in the deepest jungles of South America or in the growing churches in China? I don't know. Letting God take that one! Could it be taking over the Sunday School program at my church? At a church in the ghetto of St. Louis? I have no idea! .... God knows though! And He'll let me know in HIS time!
... All I know is that I want to love on chil'rens and youth and .... people, in general!!! :)
Lord, guide! Direct! Provide! Give peace! Open doors! Shut doors! I will follow your lead!
Happy Birthday to Mical! :D
22!!!
So .... since it's my day ... I'm gonna splurge and write a couple of blog posts I've been storing up. It's one of my birthday presents to myself. :)
Gooolllly! My life has been oober busy the past couple of months! Hence, the lack of blogging. I'm workin' on it though. :) Slowly but surely finding balance. ... God is faithful. :)
Without further ado ... the previous couple of posts are some thoughts I've been wanting to post about for quite some time .......... Yay!
Enjoy! :)
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
God's Grammar Rules 102: Appositives
I battled these crazy offset commas for months and months. And when I finally dropped the pen and let God continue writing my sentence, I found that He took this love life appositive out. He knew that the sentence worked just fine without it. He knew the sentence worked BETTER without it. He helped ME see that my sentence was better (at least for now) without these so called "enhancements."
Perhaps ... down the road ... God will put this love life appositive back in my life. But for now, I'm really enjoying my sentence without this particular appositive. My sentence is reading so much more smoothly, and it is no longer wordy and confusing. .... It's amazing how that works, huh? When we give the pen to God, He writes a sentence (and an entire story!) packed with fulfulling and purposeful punctuation, adjectives, nouns, appositives, and so much more!
Keep trusting God to write your sentence! He is the Master Writer and Editor, and He knows what He's doing! :)