There's so much more!

Ya know .... when we let go, we can really get a glimpse of God's peace, plan, purpose, and provision for our lives.  (Like my alliteration?) :)

I was listening to a song by Lincoln Brewster yesterday, and it prompted a burst of joy in my heart because I can really sing it now.

I've let go of some things .... after long months of holding on, I finally let go.

And I am filled with all those P's I just mentioned ... all by God's grace. :)

Check out the words to this song: Today is the Day :)

And I hope you can let go of some things you've been holding on to ... and believe that there's so much more.  'Cause all that God has for us IS good!  Keep trusting!!! :D

I'm casting my cares aside

I'm leaving my fears behind

I'm setting my heart and mind on you, Jesus.

I`m reaching my hand to Yours

Believing there`s so much more

Knowing that all You have in store for me is good
Is good

Chorus:
Today is the day You have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
Today is the day You have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
And I won`t worry about tomorrow
I`m trusting in what You say
Today is the day
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Today is the day
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh

I putting my fears aside

I`m leaving my doubts behind

I`m giving my hopes and dreams to You
Jesus

I`m reaching my hands to Yours

Believing there`s so much more

Knowing that all You have in store for me is good
Is good

Chorus:
Today is the day You have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
Today is the day You have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
And I won`t worry about tomorrow
I`m trusting in what You say

Today is the day
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Today is the day
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh

I will stand upon Your truth.
And all my days I`ll live for You

Chorus:
Today is the day You have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
Today is the day You have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
And I won`t worry about tomorrow
I`m giving you my fears and sorrows
Where you lead me I will follow
I'm trusting in what you say

Today is the day
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Today is the day
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh

Being confident of this ... that HE who began a GOOD work in you, will carry it on to COMPLETION until the day of CHRIST JESUS.

Philippians 1:6

This is a MIGHTY promise!  Hold on to it! :D

Names for Guys AND Ladies :)

So I went to visit my bosom buddy at camp yesterday.
She's been working at a diabetes/autism camp for the past 5 weeks (she comes home today!!!!).
And I just wanted to share an amazing little tid bit from the day .....

This may be the best camp ever because I met 2 female counselors who have boy names.
Yes, it was amazing!

I met a girl named Austin.

I met a girl named Logan.


Oh my word ... it was amazing!

I was amazed all day long ... and I still am - obviously. :)
It just made my day.
Austin, Logan, and Mical.
Good names for guys. Amazing names for girls!!!

And that's the end of my story! :D

Bogalusa 2009, yo!

Wahoo!

Time to tell ya'll about my adventures in Bogalusa!

Bogalusa, Louisiana ... ya know the toe of the boot?  Yep, that's where we were!

Last week was my third trip to that tiny, smelly, sweaty, amazing little town. :)  We've been going down to help out with the hurricane relief.  You wouldn't believe the damage that is still left from Hurricane Katrina unless you saw it for yourself.

A group from Indiana.

A group from Poplar Bluff, Missouri.

We met at a church in Bogalusa called Westside Emmanuel Baptist Church.

One of the coolest guys in the world - Pastor Marcus Rosa.

I wanted to bottle him up and bring him back to Danville!!!!

Amazing guy!  So full of life and love and Jesus!

I'm excited to spend eternity with that guy!  Yes!!!!

Well, I was put in three different places throughout the week.

Four, if you count Sunday's activities.

Sunday ... we lead worship for Westside.

Sunday night ... we put on skits/puppet shows/the Gospel message ... good times.

Monday ... we started work.

We had groups fixing roofs in the sunny, 105 degree, high humidity weather.

And my group went to Miss Sadie's house ... where we helped her dry wall some holes in her walls and bedroom closet, mud and sand walls, paint her bedroom a nice blue color, help her organize her things, tear off her ceiling and build her a new one, and lay insulation in her attic.

Tuesday ... I helped Shelley cook in the kitchen, and we had a Southern Fish Fry!  Yeah!

Wednesday ... back to work at Miss Sadie's.

Thursday ... a new location.  I went with a group to a run down schoolhouse where we finished sanding walls and coating the walls with primer.

Thursday night ... a block party!  We had balloon animals, food, snow cones (or snowballs, as Pastor Marcus called them!), face painting, carnival games, prize giveaways ... all kinds of great stuff! .... And Dave and I got to share the Gospel message with everyone there!

Friday ... was our fun day.  We went to New Orleans ... or Nawlins.  Or!  As I said one night ... Narlins.  Yeah ... no one let go of that one until I got back to Indiana!

Saturday mornin' ... we left at 5am Louisiana time ... 6am our time ... and didn't get home until 10:30pm.  Long time in the car!

That's the short version of the trip ....

Some other highlights for me were .......

*Devotions .... everyone on the trip picked a verse/passage that God had been using in their life and shared about it.

- Frank Bennett shared about Ephesians 2:1-10 ... talked about how we are God's paintbrushes ... He uses us to do His work ... and it is amazing work!

- Sallie Smith shared about trials and how we need to have God's perspective.  Hebrews 11:10 and 2 Corinthians 4:16-18.  Good stuff!

- I'll share my devo in another post.

- And it was great to hear all the young folks share ... the 7th-12th graders!  Yeah!

*Mr. Barry.

We went to Mr. Barry's "house" late in the week ... where we found no house at all.  He lived on a concrete slab.  He had a chair for sleeping in and a chair for holding his possessions.  He had a collection of Starbucks bottles and a light saber.  He had nothing.  He slept outside in the crazy hot and humid weather.  He had no food.  No shelter.  And he wasn't lucid half the time because, Pastor Marcus told us, his brain had been fried from drugs. ..... God taught me so much about thankfulness after seeing that.

*The guys singing in the shower.

The showers at the church are in a room between the guys' and girls' rooms.  Everyday, the guys sang.  And not just any songs .... hilarious songs like, Play that Funky Music White Boy ... and A Whole New World ... from Aladdin.  It was great!  I woke up from a nap, smiling, 'cause they were singing so loudly!

*Missouri teens.

Pastor Mike and Shelley brought 9 of their youth, and I got to know all of them a lot better.  I'd met them back in April when I went to visit PM and Shelley.  It was great to laugh with them, ride to Nawlins listenin' to Family Force Five, be accepted by their girls, and be black with Tori, Sarah, Rachel, Jennifer, and Sallie. .... Yes.  We were black.  Sarah brought "black woman make-up" with her to Bogalusa, and so we painted our faces black and had a ball!  Lots of strange looks from the rest of the team.  Awesome, yo!

*Seeing Pastor Mike and Shelley.

PM and Shelley brought 9 of their youth from Missouri, and it was amazing to see them!

- Pastor Mike came up to me on taco night and asked, "Do you know how I know Wes isn't here?" .... "'Cause there's still sour cream left."  (My brother loves sour cream ... eats the whole tub by himself. .... Pastor Mike walked away saying ... "Sweet memories."

- Pastor Mike called me "Junior" here and there throughout the week.  That's my nickname that he and Shelley call me .... 'cause, in case you haven't heard the story, we did a service project at the Danville rehab center several years ago, and all the old ladies thought that Pastor Mike and Shelley were my parents.  Too much fun! .... I miss hearing Pastor Mike call me Junior.

- Sunday night of the trip, I balled my eyes out during my devotional ... yes, in front of everyone.  And Shelley and I were already emotional because Pastor Mike and Jeremy were leading worship together just like they used to before PM and Shelley had to move.  So Shelley and I hugged and cried most of the night.  Shelley said, "I'm so proud of you." ... and ... "I missed you." ... in my ear while we were hugging.  Something I'll never forget.

- And Pastor Mike gave me a side hug at 5am as we were leaving and said, "I'm proud of you."

I just really miss those guys!  So it was great to see them for a whole week!

The whole trip was really great!  God was at work!  He taught me about being thankful, being faithful, and seeing things from His perspective ....

Bogalusa ... I miss that place already!!!

Why I Do What I Do ...

Well, yet again ... dear Judy has given me another blog post idea. :) What fun!
Today's post is about blogging ....
Specifically the question ... Why blog?
And more specifically ... Why Mical blogs ... :)

I started this blog back in August ... August 2008.
I think it was the 11th of that month.
A couple of friends had blogs ...
Judy.
Hannah.
......
And I think Hannah said something like ...
"Mical, why don't you have a blog? You like to write. You really should have a blog."
And that was that.
I created a blog within the next week. :)

So why do I do it?
Well, I think I briefly touched on the answer to this question in my very first blog post ... but here we go again. :)

My subtitle for this blog is .... about friends ... about Jesus ... about lessons learned and learning.
Fun and Faithful Tales ... about friends ... about Jesus ... about lessons learned and learning. :)
I started this blog to share fun stories about me and the friends God has placed in my life.
I also started it to share about how amazing Jesus has been and is in my life. :)
And ... as the blog grew ... I noticed that I wrote a lot about lessons God has been teaching me.
I'm learning all of them the hard way ... 'cause I'm so stubborn and fallen.
And that's right ... I'm still learning them.
So ... I added "about lessons learned and learning."

I'm all about encouragement. I love to encourage people ... actually, it's kind of like a hobby for me. :) It's just what I try to do ... everyday.
So I wanted this blog to be a source of encouragement for folks.
I wanted others to read about what I'm learning and hopefully have their spirits lifted because ...
1. They can see how human I am (mistakes, trials, ect.) and hopefully think "hey, I'm not alone."
2. They can read about lessons I'm learning and think, "wow, I went through that just last week ... or just last month ... or just last year." ... or (hopefully!) see how I've messed up, and say, "whoa! I'm not doin' that!!!"
3. They can get to know me better ... see what I get excited about ... see how messed up I really am ... see into my heart a bit. :)

And I like to write.
I'm not good at explaining the kinds of writing I enjoy.
I consider writing to be a hobby of mine, but when I tell people I like to write, they always ask ... "What kind of writing?" .... And I never know what to say.
I like to write letters of encouragement.
I like to journal prayers to the Lord.
I like to blog.
So now, I guess I can tell people. I like to blog.
And tell them what kind of writing I do on my blog. :)

Blogging is a great way to encourage folks, expand your hobbies, get some thoughts out, remember lessons you've learned (or are still learning - in my case), and it's even a way to talk to God and/or other people about some things that are on your heart.
And it's a ton of fun!

And that's why I blog. :)

"You been eatin' yo greens?"

Too much fun!!!
I have a great story to share with ya'll.

I've been hanging out with some of my amazing girls from the Eastside a lot over the past few weeks (they are my girls from the after school program, which I wrote about a few weeks ago and ranted about all this past semester). ... I went to pick up a few of the girls one day last week. And as I was standing outside their house, a guy (yep, he was black ... this tid bit will be good to know later) was walking across the street, and all of a sudden, I heard him say something. I turned around and smiled and said, "I'm sorry. Say that again." And he said, "You been eatin' yo greens?" ... I, being the non-ghetto, white girl that I am had no idea what he was talking about. So I gave him a funny look and kind of smiled. He said (again), "You been eatin' yo greens?" Then, when I still didn't get it, he said, "You don't even know what greens are, do ya?" I sheepishly said back, "Nooo." And he smiled and kept walkin' ... probably thinking "that stupid white girl" ... which made me laugh wondering what he must be thinking.

So .... later that night, the girls and I were at the park eating dinner. We got to talking about clothes somehow, and eventually, I mentioned my tough times finding clothes that fit ... I said "because I'm an in-between size," but the girls let me know that it's "because I have big hips." And then they continued to tell me I have a black woman's butt. .... Ha! .... If you haven't noticed, I've been extra blessed in my lower regions. ;) ..... Anyway ... we got to talkin' about the guy who asked me about my "greens" earlier in the night ... and the girls told me that "You been eatin' yo greens?" was this guy telling me that .... well, that I have a big butt. ..... The girls pretty much told me that he was checking me out. .... I asked 'em, "so that's a good thing, right? That's attractive?" And they said, "yeah," and we all laughed pretty hard.

Ha ha! This might've been the best thing that happened to me all week.
This story was just too good! I had to share it! ... And really, I just wanted to have a blog title which says "You been eatin' yo greens?" :D

I guess I need to marry a black guy ... 'cause they appreciate the greens. :D

God Glasses

Wow! .......
So I've been up and down the past few days.
Just been thinkin' about all the change that's happening around me and that's coming into my life.
Friends are getting engaged, getting married, having babies ...
Friends have lots going on in their lives, changes coming for them too ...
I'm graduating in 7 months and don't know what the heck I'm gonna do with my life ...
I've got these crazy desires, cool dreams, deep aches ...
Just a lot going on, ya know?

I've been kind of down about it, which is oober frustrating. (But that frustration is another blog post, perhaps.)
But I was reading my Bible today, grabbed Passion and Purity ... and then looked over at my "future husband journal." Yeah, I don't have a better name for it at the moment.
Sorry for you if you think writing to your future husband is cheesy. I think it's pretty much amazing. :)
I've had this journal since I was 14 years old. Shelley gave it to me and encouraged me to write letters to my future husband before I know who he is. :)
Over the years, I've written some pretty funny stuff. If I really do have a future husband out there somewhere, and if I really give him this journal, he'll get a kick out of me, for sure.
But anyways ... the Tangent Queen hasn't lost her touch! :D
I opened it and read the three most recent letters.
The first two were about some regrets I've had over the past couple of years.
But the last one (the most recent) was full of lessons learned ... and hope.

I was really down earlier today. My heart has been aching for quite some time.
But this letter! This letter that I wrote to my future husband!
It helped me see things through God's eyes again.
(I hate how easily I get my eyes off of Jesus ... and how easily my God glasses get fogged up!)
God's perspective is so much better. :)
And I want to share with you all a "snipet" from this letter ... 'cause it's amazing!
I was so blessed today to be reminded of the amazing lessons God has taught me over the past 6 months.
Why do I forget them so easily, daggonit?

Written on February 19, 2009
Wow! I just finished reading the last two letters to you. And holy cow! I'm really messing things up, huh? Ha ha! ;) I hate that I haven't been more careful with my heart over th past two years, but at the same time, I've learned amazing lessons. All the brokenness, all of the mistakes, all of the failed hopes and dreams have brought me back to contentment in Christ alone. It took me a long time! But God was, and still is, patient and faithful. Amazingly so! :) He stuck by me every moment. He taught me so much about surrender, about being content, about waiting. Surrender - I can never be completely whole or completely satisfied until I let go of my own desires and let God fill me with His, until I grab hold of God's purpose (even if I don't know it completely) and allow Him to conform my desires to His. Contentment - I cannot be completely content in anything or anyone but Christ. He is my life, and if I do not desire Him above all else, nothing will mean anything. True and complete fulfillment can only be found in knowing, loving, serving, and glorifying God, and enjoying Him forever. I've never experienced something more true. Waiting - God doesn't always tell us what's going on from the get-go. In fact, He rarely does. Life wouldn't be life. God doesn't always give us the answers that we want. In fact, He always gives us something way better, whether we know it or not. But in waiting, He expects us to trust Him and love Him and serve Him and seek Him and glorify Him with all that we are. We can't throw our hands up and quit just because things didn't go our way. God's way is amazingly better, and He will reveal it in His time, which is hardly ever our time (for good reasons!). Gotta keep trusting! So ... this letter is a lot better than the last two, huh? :) God never fails to take our sin (our selfishness, our impatience, our failures, ect.) and work it out for our good. Wow! I am so thankful for His grace and faithfulness.

Man, oh man. Good stuff! God was really working in my heart when I wrote that! I feel absolutely ridiculous that it's only been 3 months, and I'm already forgetting these lessons in surrender and contentment and waiting. God is so faithful!

And I noticed that I used the word "complete" lots of times throughout this letter. Makes me think of James 1:4 ... "so that you will be mature and COMPLETE, not lacking anything." Yeah! That's what trials ... and the lessons we learn through those trials do for us. They make us complete. God sees it. Why can't I? ...... I think I'll put my God glasses back on now. :)

Lord, make these lessons real to me once again. Help me walk day after day with Your eyes.
Be my all, Lord Jesus.

Favorite Family Ever: Big Brother #2

Hey!!!!!!!!
So it's my friend, Jason's, birthday today ... and he belongs to my "favorite family ever" posts ... so I'm gonna post about him! :D
I posted a long time ago about my big brother, Adam (Jason's cousin), and Jason's fiance, Melissa ... so now, it's Jason's turn. There are still a bunch of people in this family whom I have yet to write about, so stay tuned! I will write about all of them one of these days. :)

Hmm ... where to start with my friend, Jason?
I've known his family since I was a pretty little kid ... but I didn't start to really get to know him until my freshman year of high school. He and Adam were seniors in the youth group and didn't really get involved with youth group until a few months before they graduated. Shortly after Jason graduated from high school, he got involved with YWAM (Youth With A Mission). He went to a country called Azer Byzuan (and yes, wow! I butchered that spelling!). While he was there, I remember I wrote him a letter ... just to encourage him and let him know I was praying for him. He wrote me a couple of e-mails during his trip ... and we started really building a friendship. When he got back, I remember him saying something to the affect of ... "Mical, your letter was really amazing. It was so awesome to get mail I could actually touch and to be reminded that someone was praying for me." His thank you was an incredible gift to me. Since then, Jason and I have become good friends.

There's a running joke that he and the rest of the Cooks/Adamsons gang (my favorite family in the world) are considered the "B" team among my group of friends (Higher Ground folks taking the "A" team spot). In reality (and I think he knows this deep down), they are all the "A" team because they are all amazing friends. He just likes to give me a hard time.
Actually, Jason Michael Adamson giving Mical Lynn Masterson a hard time? That is the foundation of our friendship. And I love it that way. In his own way, it tells me that he cares about me. (Yeah, that's probably backwards ... but not with Jason.) :)

There's another running joke that he's a big jerk. He puts off the jerk vibe as a front sometimes ... but really? He's a genuine, fun-loving, committed, all-around great guy. :)

Actually, Jason is one of my favorite guys ever. :) He's like a second big brother in a lot of ways. He's definitely toward the top of my "godliest guys ever list," and I appreciate him way more than he knows. He's a guy who stands by his convictions and is committed to his walk with the Lord. He's really good at calling people out when they are out of line. And I mean that in a good way. If we're playing football and getting way too competitive (bad attitudes), he's usually the one who brings us back. ... He's part of the problem at times too. (;)) Who isn't? But he's good about calming us down. I remember this one time I got all worked up because Melissa was beating me on every cut (again), and I was getting really frustrated with myself ... letting out some "Mical frustration grunts" and the like .... I was leaned over, and I remember Jason coming over, patting me on the back, grabbing my head and putting his head on mine and saying, "Hey, it's alright. Don't worry about it." ..... It may seem like a small gesture. I'm sure he doesn't remember it a bit. But it was huge to me. I really look up to Jason. I think oober highly of him. And he's like a big brother to me. So for him to remind me to keep my head in that way was huge. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever forget it.

Jason's just a really great guy. I hope he knows how much I love and appreciate him ... on his birthday and everyday. :)

Stewin' about ... Chewin' on

These questions are in no particular order.
I got this post idea from the wonderful Judy Nilsen, and I'm gonna type 'em as I think of 'em. :)

~ Why doesn't God speak audibly?

~ Why does love make you ache sometimes?

~ Why is surrender the hardest lesson to learn when you know that you know that you know that you know ... that God's got it all taken care of?

~ Why can't I read books that I really enjoy? (No, I'm not a reader, but every once in a great while I find a book that I really like - like Passion and Purity, for example - and I can't get myself to read it consistently for my life!)

~ Why can't I sacrifice something as small as TIME for my Lord when He sacrificed His LIFE for me?

~ How do I treat this new girl who's in my brother's life? (Obviously, with kindness ... but I'm not too used to my brother being really stuck on someone ... what is happening?)

~ How can I disciple the girls on the Eastside?
What book of the Bible should we read first?

~ How involved can I get with my youth group, my kids on the Eastside, my church, my small groups, my school work, my .... ?
How do I know when it's time to say "I can't." ? ... "Those are enough commitments for now." ?

~ How do you know when God is saying "go for it!" and when He is saying "no." and when He is saying "wait." ?

~ Where is God calling me when I graduate in 7 months?
How will I know?

~ How do I know if I'm called to the kids of the Eastside?
How do I know when my heart that is seeking Christ is saying "yes!" but my heart has failed me more than once?

~ Why does God put desires in our hearts and then take them away?

~ How is God's grace so big that I have peace in the midst of these chaotic questions about my life? :)

~ How does God do it? --- He keeps putting a smile on my face. :)



PSALM 25:4-5
MAKE ME KNOW YOUR WAYS, O LORD.
TEACH ME YOUR PATHS.
GUIDE ME IN YOUR TRUTH AND TEACH ME.
FOR YOU ARE THE GOD OF MY SALVATION.
FOR YOU, I WAIT ALL THE DAY.

Something Better ....

Whoa!  I'm posting a second time this week!  That is huge!!!!  It's been two days since my last post instead of 2 months!  Ha!  Aren't you all proud? ;)

Well, "The Greatest Passion of My Life" post was actually a tangent ... what's new?  I'm the Tangent Queen. :) ... I started writing, and the words kept going and going and going.  What I meant to write about is what I mentioned at the very end of my last post .... "the progress in my surrending/crying fits concerning my love life."  Ha!  Whatever.

I've been reading a book called Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot.  It's a tiny book ... I'm only half way through it.  And I've been reading it for several months now.  Yep, I'm a huge slacker when it comes to reading.  My Bible is the only book I read consistently.  At least I've got that going for me, huh? ;) .... Anyway (tangents - yes!!!) .... this book is amazing!  It's a tough read 'cause it's so full of "jump off the page and smack ya in the head" moments.  I was reading a chapter on Sunday morning while I was waiting for my mom to finish getting ready for church. .... I really remember nothing from the chapter but this small paragraph:

My heart was saying, "Lord, take away this longing, or give me that for which I long."  The Lord was answering, "I must teach you to long for something better."

Oh my gosh!  I lost it.  I was lying on my bed, and I remember saying .... "Really, Lord?  Are you really gonna throw that at me?" .... out loud to myself.  I kind of let out a chuckle.  But it was one of those quiet moments before the storm.  I laughed a little, and then I started sobbing!  I think those two little lines impacted me more than anything I've ever read.  God's word has done that to me a few times ... but other than that, those two lines were more powerful than anything, ever.

They were, and still are, so powerful because these two lines sum up my life over the past 9 months.  I've had huge things happen to me over the past year.  (I'll admit that they mean absolutely nothing in light of eternity ... but hey, they were still huge disappointments that have left scars on my heart.)  They totally turned my life upside down .... totally broke my heart .... and I will be honest and say that I still fight bitterness about them from time to time.  And I'll admit that I get upset with God about them sometimes.  I'm not upset with the people and situations surrounding the events.  But I do throw a bit of a fit at times when I'm talking to God about 'em ... or when they come up in conversation.  Yes, I still need to totally surrender these things ... I'm workin' on it.  But in the meantime, God doesn't mind that we disagree with Him ... I'm convinced of that.  So I have serious talks with Him from time to time, asking Him questions about why He allowed these things to happen ... about why He took away my greatest dreams. ..... And He calmly and quietly says, "My child, I must teach you to dream the dreams I have for you."

Man.  What a blow!  When I get all caught up in my OWN dreams, my OWN desires, my OWN, my OWN, my OWN .... it's bound to fall apart.  There was nothing wrong with the dreams I had ... they were good and godly things ... things I was convinced God put on my heart.  But I'm continuing to learn that I can't get too attached to my dreams.  Dream.  Yes, I should dream!  God wants us to live for Him, make plans to glorify Him (and live 'em out!) ... but He doesn't want us to get so caught up in what we're doing that we forget about Him ... or maybe we're not so much forgetting about Him but rather living in an attitude of "there is no other way but this one that I'm walking in."  God wants us to be ready and willing to do what He asks, the moment He asks it ... whether it's what WE had planned or what we thought HE had planned.  "Follow Me.  And the disciples immediately left their nets and followed Him." .... And I think God wants to teach us some things in the process.  Ha!  Let's take the "I think" out of there, shall we? ... God wants to teach us some things in the process.  He needs to break us of our own wills.  He wants our attitude to be one of "not my will, but yours, Lord."  And He wants us to REALLY MEAN IT! ... He wants our passions to be His passions.  He wants to see what we're gonna do when He allows trials into our lives.  When He says, "No." ... or "Wait."  He wants to grow us.  And ... I know, for me, the only way for God to grow me is for Him to break me.  Because I'm way too stubborn.  I'm way too selfish.

Whew.  Waiting is the toughest thing ever.  Having dreams taken away .... or perhaps put on hold for a while .... is difficult.  And difficult is an understatement.  But the lessons learned.  Oh ... the lessons learned! .... Growing hurts.  But the end result is so worth while.  I'm not even to the end of the growing process yet, and I'm already getting a glimpse of the result.  Our God is faithful.  Keep trusting in Him.  I know I am. :)

The Greatest Passion of My Life!!!

Ha! Did ya'll think I died again? .... I never post anymore. What a sad story. .... Life is amazingly busy for me right now ... more so than ever before! ... And only getting busier - 'cause I'm just too passionate about some things ... kids! People! ... And since people are everywhere, I overcommit myself like crazy!

I've been working at an after school program on the Eastside of Indianapolis through a church called Shepherd Community Center. My good friend, James, works there, and he asked for volunteers back in January. He said the word, "Kids," and I was doomed. ;) .... I am stinkin' in love with people between the ages of 6 and 16. I am more alive hanging out with them than with anyone! And the kids at this after school program have been the highlight of my life since I started helping out with the program back in January.

They are urban kids. From rough neighborhoods. Many from really messed up homes. Crimes taking place on their streets, on their front porches, in their homes. Drugs. Shootings. Thefts. Sexual abuse. Domestic abuse. Emotional abuse. Neglect. And the list goes on. .... I only know what my friend, James, tells me. I don't see it on a day to day basis like him; he lives on the Eastside. ... All I get to see are the kids - two days a week. And all I know is that I am completely in love with them. I've worked a little in urban kids' ministry over the years. When Wheeler Mission was still doing kids/youth programs, I helped out with a few day/3-day camps for 6 years. I did other, spuradic events through Wheeler as well. And I really enjoyed it! ..... But! But! Working with these kids at after school a couple days a week, on a much more regular basis has helped me love it even more! Heck. Love is not the right word. PASSION. Passionate is a much better word! I am flippin' passionate about these kids! ... I love them so much that I don't know what to do with myself!!! .... This is it! This is what I want to do with my life!

Have you ever found something like this? Have you ever found your passion and had so many ideas, such much desire to DO and to BE and LOVE that you didn't know what to do with yourself? .... Oh, man! I want to be apart of these kids' lives more than I've ever wanted anything! But how? How can I be more apart?

Opportunities are popping up everywhere! I just need to know which doors to run through. Because no, I won't be walking!!! I'm too excited for that! .... If ya'll think about it ... would you pray about this for me? .... I have some great opportunities heading my way ... but I need to know what GOD wants me to do; I need to know which doors to walk through (and at what speed ... maybe I can walk but not run through some ... and maybe I need to shut some doors). I'm continuing to seek the Lord about these things.

Ha! And to think I got on here to write about my progress/crying fits concerning surrendering my love life to Christ. I really am the tangent queen! ;) .... Well, didn't proofread this don't have time 'cause I'm off to be with my after school kids!!!! Ahh!!!! I'm so excited! ... Have a great day all!

The Name Mical ...

So I have a love hate relationship with my name.

I like my name because it is pretty much the BEST girl's name ever.
I like my name because it is spelled without an "h" and without an "e."
M I C A L .... no "h"; no "e."
I like my name because it draws attention to me. Perhaps I'm vain ... but I like attention. 0:)
I like my name because not many other girls have this name. Unique is good. :)
I like my name because every now and then people will sometimes say .... "Oh, your name is Mical? My cousin's nephew's daughter's name is Mical." Ha! THAT response cracks me up! Some obscure relative has the same name as I do. It just makes me laugh ... really hard. Ha ha ha ha! :D
I like my name because the little kids at after school (or little kids anywhere) will ask me .... "Are you a boy?" ... Yes. I've been asked that more than once.
I like my name because I will sit down at the tutoring table in the writing center, and my tutee will give me a funny look and say .... "Oh. I was expecting a male." A girl I tutored today said that to me, and I let out a chuckle. Too funny.
I like my name because my big brother, Adam, calls me Mike ... and Wes calls me Mike. Mike is my all-time favorite nickname. Probably because my brothers are the only ones who call me that. :)

But .... I don't like my name when people insult my intelligence.
Perhaps I'm prideful and vain and such ... but when I introduce myself and the person pauses and then says .... "Oooh. It's Michelle, isn't it?"
That response drives me absolutely crazy!
NO! I JUST told you my name is Mical. M I C A L. Gosh. I'm not stupid. I know my own name. Daggonit.
.... That's really the only reason I can think of that I don't like my name. It just drives me nuts! I get almost angry. Ask Emily.

Ha ha! Too funny! I thought of this post because I was at McDonald's today ... buying a sweet tea and a McChicken sandwich (a very Mical thing to do ....), and they asked for my name. The girl who took my order believed me the first time. But the guy who called my name ... ha! He was a hoot! He called my name .... got it right. But when I came up to grab my food, and the guy calling my food saw me .... and he said "Mical ... oh ... Michelle?" And I just laughed and said ... "Nope, it's Mical." He then laughed. Wow. I don't think he believed me. .... It made me laugh rather than upset ... but still. It said Mical (probably spelled with the "h" and the "e" - Michael - on the paper) on the daggone receipt, but he couldn't handle the awesomeness of my name! :D

Anyway .... fun story, huh? Hope ya'll are having a great week! :D

Peace in Surrender

I'm giving You my heart and all that is within.
I lay it all down for the sake of You, my King.
I'm giving You my dreams.
I'm laying down my rights.
I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life.
And I surrender, all to You ... all to You.
And I surrender, all to You ... all to You.

The Lord's been really layin' this verse and chorus of the song, "Surrender," on my heart over the past couple of days. ..... I've never quite understood why surrender is such a tough concept for me. I mean, sure ... I'm stubborn, selfish, fallen ... but come on! God has been, is, and continues to be MORE than faithful, MORE than enough, MORE than all I need and want ... and He provides so much MORE than I can imagine ... every single day. Sheesh, Mical. So why is surrendering my desires so hard? It's killin' me! Not so much the surrender part but the fact that I AM SO DAGGONE RIDICULOUS! God has proven Himself over and over and over and over (and .....) again. He has NEVER ever ever ever ever (ever .....) failed me. He is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING .... every single day .... every single MOMENT of my life. ..... But surrender. It is so daggone tiring ... so daggone on difficult ... so daggone opposite of the flesh. Which is why it's so hard. I am flesh. God is holy. Those two things are too opposite to go together .... thankfully, Jesus came along and broke that wall of opposites so that we (the flesh - me .... and God) could live in harmony with one another. And Jesus came along .... surrendering His life .... to enable us to surrender our lives to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and God (one in the same).

Whew! So what does that mean? .....

I

MUST

SURRENDER.

The end.




And in this process of surrender, there is peace. Sweet Jesus peace.

Isaiah 26:3 - The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace because he trusts in You.

.... But that peace only comes when we keep our mind .... our heart .... every nook and cranny of our being stayed upon Him, the Lord, Jesus Christ.

Trust.

Peace comes from trusting in Jesus. Period.

Verse 4 - Trust in the Lord forever, for in God the Lord, we have an everlasting Rock.

Verse 8 - Indeed, while following the way of Your judgements, O Lord, we have waited for You eagerly ......
Ah ha! There's that word again .... "wait." Mmm .... isn't that just becoming your favorite word? Bah! No way! But isn't it funny how God is bringing it up over and over again? .... Think He's trying to get your attention, Mical? Hmm .... ;) ....
The rest of verse 8 - Your name, even Your memory, is the desire of our souls.
The desire of our souls.
The desire of MY soul.
Is He? ..... Are You, Lord?
Precious Jesus, BE the desire of my soul.

Verse 9 - At night my soul longs for You; Indeed, my spirit within me seeks You diligently.
Help me to long for you, O Lord. Help me to seek you with every ounce of my strength .... not just until these areas of my life are surrendered but beyond .... until we meet face to face.
... Peace comes from seeking Christ ... diligently.


Surrender. It must be done. Peace. It's a gift along the way. Embrace it, Mical. Embrace it, everyone! ... How? By seeking God. By trusting Him.
And ya know .... trust is surrender.
When we trust Jesus with our lives, we are surrendering our lives to Him.

Let's give our hearts to Jesus ... and all that is within.
Let's lay it all down because Jesus laid down His very life for us.
Let's give Jesus our every dream.
Let's lay down all of our so called "rights." (Ha! Like we really have any of those!)
Let's give up our pride and live in the NEW LIFE we have in Christ Jesus our Lord!

Oh, everyone!!!!! My heart is crying out! (If you didn't notice). ;) .... I want to surrender ... every nook and cranny of my life to Jesus. I want that NEW LIFE that ONLY comes in an intimate, holy, completely surrendered relationship with Jesus. I'm not there yet. I've got a loooooonnnnnggg way to go. But I can't ever stop striving for that goal. Let's strive together, shall we?