GoG 14: The Calling

Gosh. Gettin' behind again. This every single day thing is hard!

Today's (or rather - Thursday's) glimpse of grace came in the form of frustration. .... I've been working with some really amazing kids on the Eastside of Indianapolis for almost a year and a half now. It is an awesome time every Wednesday and Thursday ... a time of eating with the kids, laughing with them, helping them with homework, playing games, talking, and learning more about how we can love Jesus - together. ... Well, a lot of the kids didn't have homework today, so after we ate, I was in charge of 5 kids. We were supposed to set up chairs for a group that comes to the church later in the week. Kids are crazy creatures ... they are loud, rambunctious, and well ... a little distracted. We started taking the chairs down, but before I knew it, half of the kids were running and sliding across the wood floor, others were playing the piano, writing the the chalkboard, and just runnin' around actin' crazy, as kids often do. After a while (and after several times of telling the kids to help set up the chairs), I was getting frustrated. When kids don't listen (even after 5, 6, 7 times of telling them to do something), it gets a little frustrating. .... Finally, I told them we had five minutes to put of the rest of the chairs and then we'd play a game ... they somewhat got it together and started helping. We finally finished setting up the chairs and started the game. And I sighed a sigh of relief and let out my frustration ... and we started playing a game (that was actually really fun!).

The grace in that situation is that ... in all my years of working with kids, I never get burned out to the point of quitting. And as I get older, I become more patient with my kids. No matter how crazy the day is or how rebellious/crazy/frustrating the kids get (which is not very often - but definitely from time to time), I never want to quit ... in fact, I also want to go back for more! :) ... And it is in these moments that I get my confirmation that I AM, INDEED, living out my calling. And that is God's grace in action - giving me a calling and ability/patience/joy/strength to do it everyday.

GoG 13: The Changing Seasons

Alright. One more for the night. I am finally caught up after this one! :D .... Today, I met with Alex, my most faithful blog follower, surrender sister, and friend. We meet from time to time to have "Jesus Talks," as we like to call 'em. Alex is one of those cool Jesus people. She loves the Lord with all she is, and it really shows in everything she is and does. That's why we call 'em Jesus Talks ... because she always points us to Jesus. She's pretty great. She also likes to hike out by busy streets and run ahead so I can barely catch her ... but we'll save that story for another day. ;) Just teasin' ya, Alex! :D:D:D

Anyway ... today, we were just finishing up our walk through her neighborhood, standing in her driveway, when we, like I just said .... were standing. Yep ... just standing. We didn't stand in silence for too long, but it was great. Today was a beautiful day. It was warmer than it's been in several weeks ... the sun was shining, and there was a cool breeze. Alex said it felt a little like spring with the warmth of the sun and the birds chirping. As we stood there, enjoying the warm(er) weather, standing in silence, I breathed in the cool January air, listened to the birds chirping and the wind rustling the trees, and I looked up at the pure, blue sky. It was gorgeous for those few moments. And I turned to Alex and said, "This is our glimpse of grace for today."

And it was. We chatted for a minute about how not only the gorgeous day was His grace in action but how the changing seasons are His grace. We don't deserve variety. We don't deserve the fun each season brings, the beauty each brings. But God gives 'em anyway.

So the next time you think, "I hate winter. It's so cold out here." think about God's grace. :)

GoG 12: The Little Rosey-Cheeked, Brown-Eyed Girl

Last night, I went to see one of my girls play in her first basketball game of the season. She plays on the 7th grade Avon Orioles "B" Team at Avon Middle School North. I didn't know there was more than one game, so I got to Zionsville's gym a little before 5:30pm and shortly thereafter, realized that Caylee did not play until the second game. At around 6:45pm, Caylee and her team took the floor. .... Now, I like basketball. I like sports in general. But sitting in a gym where the only person I knew was Caylee, who wouldn't be down on the floor with her team for another 45 minutes, I was getting a little antsy.

Half-way through the "A" team's game, a mother and her three kids came and sat right in front of me. She had two sons who looked to be maybe 8 and 11 years old. And she had a daughter who looked like she was 5 or 6 years old. .... She was adorable. She had really red cheeks and the biggest brown eyes I've seen in a long while. She was pretty funny to watch. One minute she was drawing on the basketball roster that was handed out before the game, using her mom's back as a hard surface. The next minute she was laying on her back, lifting the roster and her pen, trying to draw a picture with these in the air. All the while, she was talking to herself. She ran up and down the bleachers, hung on her dad's arm, continued talking to herself. Just being cute like lots of 5-year-olds are.

I took her as my glimpse of grace for the day because I took joy in watching her be a 5-year-old. Once again, it was a simple joy that tugged at my heart. 4, 5, and 6 year-olds are hilarious and tons of fun (a handful as well but great!) because they are just starting to understand the world around them. It's just a funny stage of life because they are in discovery mode .... but also 'cause they are totally oblivious to self-esteem and boundaries and what to say/not to say, what to wear/not to wear ... all of the lame things we "older, wiser" people worry about. So they are just fun to watch. This little girl named Becca (she spelled it on a piece of paper ... B e c c Q. Nice, huh?) didn't care, or even notice, that she fell off the bleacher because she missed the seat entirely when she tried to sit down or that her hair was standing straight up, static-electrified after laying down on the bleacher for a few minutes. She was just having fun drawing and talking and jumping around on the bleachers.

And that's it. The innocence of a 5-year-old. ..... I used to be like Becca. Oblivious. And it was a good kind of oblivious. I didn't worry about any of the things I worry about now. I didn't care what people thought or fitting in. I just loved Jesus, and my confidence was in Him. .... What happened to those days? And how can I get 'em back? Thank you, Lord, for this tiny glimpse of grace.

GoG 11: The Chuck Spotting

On to Monday, the 11th. .... Monday night, I went to see Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakel with my CCF, Hannah. Yes, we love the chipmunks. They are cute. They sing. They dance. They are just fun. :) .... Well, I've been watching this TV series called "Chuck." Heard of it? Uncle Mike got me hooked on it. The summary of the story behind this TV show, if you haven't seen it, is this guy named Chuck somehow gets all of the government's secrets downloaded into his brain, so a couple of CIA agents are sent to protect him: Sarah Walker and John Casey. Each episode of the series is filled with various situations where Sarah and Casey protect Chuck from being discovered as "the intersect," the guy with the government secrets in his head. All the while, Sarah and Chuck fall in love, so each show reveals the dynamics of how they can't be together because she's the agent and he's the protected, ect. So ... if you like action and you like gushy love stuff ... you'd most likely like this series. .... Okay ... well, as much as I can fall in love with an actor, I love Chuck! He is adorable, charming, sensitive, courageous, looks out for the needs of others ... ya know, all the qualities a girl wants in a guy.

Alright. I'm sure you're wondering where that came from. After all, I started off this post talking about Alvin and the Chipmunks. So let's get back to 'em. Really, I brought that movie up because Chuck (yes, Zachary Levi - Chuck's real-life name) was the main guy in Alvin and the Chipmunks. .... You can ask Hannah Baker ... I started freaking out when I saw Chuck ... or Toby, as he was called in the chipmunks movie. Posing as a bum of a guy for most of the movie, he got his act together by the end ... and was still just as adorable and fun and charming as Chuck. What fun! ... And guess what? Hannah is now hooked on Chuck too! Nice .....

This Chuck spotting in The Squeakel is my glimpse of grace for the day because I got so much excitement out of seeing this silly Zachary Levi guy in this movie. Getting excited about actors and actresses, cartoons, video games, Colts' games, ect. is God's grace in action because He gives us joy in everyday things. It may sound like a stretch to say that, but really. God loves us enough to give us goofy things to get excited about. Obviously, we should be careful with how much time and energy we put into anything or anyone that is not Jesus Christ, but allowing us joy in the simple things is just one way that God shows us He cares about us. For me to almost come out of my seat with joy when I saw Chuck on the chipmunks movie was silly ... probably even ridiculous ... but it was so much fun! And I think God wants us to find joy in the simple things. Being serious all the time is no fun ... and it's also hard on the soul.

Proverbs 17:22

"A cheerful heart is a good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."

GoG 10: The Trust Issue

Whew! Gotta catch up, or I never will! Hopefully, tonight will be the night for catching up ... 'cause last night certainly wasn't. Ha! Okay ... here goes.

Sunday. Sunday, January 10, 2010. What was my glimpse of grace? Let's see ...

I think all of you (faithful followers) know that I am the youth "pastor" (director/leader/whatever) at Calvary. Well, because I'm a woman, I have "issues" with some of my guys from time to time. There are just some things that I can't/shouldn't/don't know how to handle with the guys in my group at times. I would run into the same thing if I were a single guy concerning my girls, so it works either way. But it is really discouraging. I've been praying for months that God would bring someone (specifically, a guy who loves youth - ours at Calvary to be even more specific) to help me with SoZo. (Side note: Everyone asks me what SoZo means/is .... so in case you don't know, SoZo is the name of our youth group at Calvary Chapel. It is a greek word that means "to save.") .... But anyway ... still, no one has come to work alongside me, and it gets disheartening from time to time. I don't want to just pick someone at random or make an announcement behind the pulpit, ect. because youth ministry is hard work. It is NOT for the faint of heart. And I would rather work alone forever than have somebody in there with me who doesn't care about my kids. ..... Now that we have that tangent out of the way (he he he) ... I say all of that to say ... to work in youth ministry, you really need a man and a woman ... or several men and several women. You have a really hard time doing it alone ... and for the male-female dynamics of it all, you really need (and can't do without for too long!) both a man and a woman leading a group of teenage guys and girls.

Sunday night, I really needed that guy I've been praying for. If you ask Emily, she can tell you that I went off on a "I just need a guy/I'll just marry him so that he can help me with SoZo/That's the only reason I want to get married at this point" speal. .... But my glimpse of God's grace was later that evening after I felt stupid for my goofy rant. I realized (once again) that I cannot do this thing called youth ministry on my own. I'm not sure I ever thought I could in the first place, but what I mean is that I realized I can't do any of it without Jesus Christ. I am totally and completely dependent on Him. Without His help, provision, direction ... and without Him being at the center of everything SoZo is and does, SoZo will not be ... at least not the way He intended it to be. Not having a guy to work alongside in ministry caused me to re-evaluate my heart in ministry. Are you really depending on God, trusting Him for all that you need in this calling of yours, Mical? Are you focusing too much on your lack of a guy to help you that you aren't looking to Christ for provision and strength and direction, Mical?

These are important questions to ask. And even though I'm not completely at ease with the situation SoZo is in with no male adult leader, I am continuing to work at the whole trust issue ... trusting God No. Matter. What. Happens. And like I talked about a couple posts ago ... finding joy in whatever happens. :) It's a process like all things ... but little glimpses of grace like this one can really help along the way.

GoG 9: The Grad Party

As many of you know, I am officially a college graduate. The diploma is in the mail! :) .... I had my graduation open house on Saturday night (January 9th, which is the second GoG day that I am behind with). My glimpse of grace for Saturday was, in one word, love.

It was 4:15pm, 15 minutes after my party had officially started. No one was there, and we were running late - still cutting fruit, taking the paper cups out of their plastic bag, pouring chips into bowls, setting food out for the (hopefully) guests. And I was bummed because no one was there. I thought, "This is gonna be a long party." At approximately 4:17pm, my dear friends, Sara-Ruth and Lauren, strolled into the kitchen at Calvary. They gave me big smiles, told me congratulations, and immediately got right to work helping me put the food out and get ready for the rest of the (hopefully) party guests.

Around 4:30pm, the guests started to arrive ... just a couple of families. My beloved Nilsens and Dorene and Jim from church ... the party was rather slow. But then, maybe 10 minutes later, Ben and Brittney and Matt and Hannah showed up. That's when the party started! I got a big side hug from Ben and a "Hannah hug," which is really a fist bump with an explosion. :D From that point on, the SoZo youth room at Calvary was boomin'! There was barely room to move until about a quarter till 7, and a handful of people stayed until well after 7 just chatting and helping clean up the mess from the party.

It was such a blessing to see so many people from my church family stop by ... to chat with people from Grace Fellowship, Calvary's sister church and my second church home! Seriously. I don't even go to Grace, and there were at least 5 families that stopped by to congratulate me, love on me, and talk with me. And many of those 5 families stayed for over an hour!

God's grace was certainly in action through all the love that bounced around the room that night. So many friends saying "congratulations," "don't worry about that test, you'll be great at whatever you do," "God's got some great plans in store for you, Mical," "I'm so proud of you" ... even "You're my hero." It was an amazing night! I'm not sure I've ever felt more loved and appreciated.

GoG 8: The One Thing

Whew! Gettin' a little behind, eh? Yes, indeed. Time to catch up!

So Friday, which was January 8th, I decided to read in my NLT Bible (New Living Translation) rather than reading in my NASB (New American Standard Bible). Because I'm trying to read through the whole Bible in my NASB, I decided to take a break from my encouragement study through the book of Acts and pick something at random. That's not usually my style. I like to find a book to read through or study, but Friday night, I wanted something different. It was the night before that dreaded Praxis exam, and I was looking through the pages for a little encouragement. And boy, did I find it!

If you can, go find an NLT Bible (or look up this specific version of the Bible on the internet), and read Philippians chapter 3. That's where I found myself on Friday night, and I was incredibly blessed by what I read! And a little convicted. I'll pull out the four parts of this chapter that stuck out to me and why they stuck out .... as well as why they are considered a glimpse of God's grace in action in my life.

Philippians 3:1 .....

Wow! The very first verse I read on Friday blew me away.

..... "Whatever happens, dear brothers and sisters, may the Lord give you joy."

I was reading this chapter out loud that night, and I stopped after this first sentence and pondered it for a moment. I started thinking out loud with this small thought ... "whatever happens." I was so encouraged because ... well ... the Praxis has been a pretty big trial in my life. It has been a huge disappointment, stopped me from fulfilling the greatest dream of my life, and has almost literally shouted at me, "You're stupid! I STILL have power over you!" Of course, that's not true. I know I'm not stupid. But this test has been hanging over my head for 4 long years. All I've ever wanted to do is be the best teacher in the whole world! That's it. (Not asking for much, huh?) ;) .... And the only thing that stands in my way of that dream is this lousy test. .... But this verse. Wow. It was a reminder that no matter what happens, I have joy ... because joy is forever. :) And it convicted me ... because I haven't been living in joy as a result of failing this test 8 times (still waiting to hear about the 9th). So .... in one verse, I was more encouraged and, perhaps, more convicted than I've been in a long time after reading God's word. Amazing.

Philippians 3:3 .....

"We put no confidence in human effort. Instead, we boast about what Christ Jesus has done for us."

If I put on this attitude, I can be rid of the power that the Praxis has had over me because I have no confidence in it. It is of human effort. .... It's funny. My aunt Rose just posted on my facebook status (the one that I posted concerning the Praxis recently) that I have gifts and talents that make me who I am; a "man-made test" does not decide that for me. Cool timing, huh? Indeed. :) .... It's so true. If I can refocus my efforts to be on Christ and what He has done for me and focus my attention on honoring Him with my life, then I will put no confidence in human desires, plans, tests, ect. Awesome.

Philippians 3:8 .....

"Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord."

This is one of those "Christianease" verses. It's thrown at us a lot as "mature" Christians. And often, we read it, say "Alright. Good one, God" and move on. But if we really think about it, we can know that E V E R Y T H I N G in this life is W O R T H L E S S compared with knowing and loving Christ Jesus with our lives. Even a silly test. That doesn't mean I can't try. It just means that I don't have to consider this test "everything" to fulfilling my dreams. .... God is working to fulfill my dreams even now. They just may be completed (and perfected!) in ways I did not expect.

Philippians 3:13 .....

"I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead."

"Good one, God!" .... Oh, indeed!!!! ....... Although I am not completely and entirely the woman God wants me to be just yet ... and I have made mistakes in my past that have slowed that process of Christ-likeness, I can, right now, focus all of my time, energy, and attention on O N E T H I N G - forgetting my failures (real and unreal, literal and figurative), my "could-have-beens," my dreams and look forward to the adventure that is in front of me. I can because those failures, like I said, were both real and unreal. Many of them made up in my mind. Just because I didn't pass that Praxis doesn't mean I failed.

Ha! Did you get that?

Did YOU get that, MICAL?????????

Just because you didn't pass that Praxis doesn't mean you failed. ...... Failure is choosing to walk in your own way, choosing to give up on God's plan and will and purpose for your life. And you didn't do that. You persevered. You took that daggone test 9 times for crying out loud! You did anything but fail!!!! And that is the one thing - forgetting the "failed dreams" and moving on toward the "God dreams." They never fail.

And that! That, my friends, is my glimpse of grace for the day. I am not a failure.

GoG 7: The Gravy Fiasco

I missed yesterday's post, so here it is right now. :)

On Thursday, January 7, 2010, I decided to make biscuits and gravy. ... I'm sorry. Let me rephrase that. I decided to demolish me some biscuits and gravy! Wow, it was a fiasco! ... I am no Julia Child when it comes to cooking. I am no Julie either. I am no anything when it comes to cooking. Okay, I take that back. I can make a pretty mean grilled cheese sandwich. I'm also pretty good at making spaghetti and cheesy scrambled eggs. French toast. Pretty good at flippin' pancakes. And my sweet tea and rice crispy treats are famous among my friends and church family. ;) But ... after hearing my story, none of these "pretty good"/"pretty mean"/"famous" Mical cooking creations will mean anything. Ha! Nothing at all.

After sleeping in pretty late yesterday, I woke up, puttered around, and then thought to myself, "Biscuits and gravy sound good." Grands biscuits are my favorite, and we've got a big bag of 'em in our freezer. I had never made gravy before but thought "how hard can it be?" So I walked into my brother's room and hopped on the internet to find a gravy recipe ... all the while asking my brother if he wanted some. And of course he said "yes" because biscuits and gravy are awesome! ... Well, they are when Mical Masterson doesn't make 'em.

The recipe was as follows ...

8 buttermilk biscuits

3/4 pound of sausage

4-6 tablespoons of flour

4 cups of milk

And that's it.

Yep ... who could mess that up, right? Well, let me tell you. The directions said to brown some sausage (the fatty kind supposedly works best). We only had sausage patties - 4 to be exact. So I put 'em in the pan, browned 'em, and cut 'em up into little pieces. Then I proceeded to follow the directions for mixing in the flour. So I started stirring in the flour one tablespoon at a time ... making sure it turned brown before I added more so that my gravy would not taste like flour ... so said the recipe. This took a while. After the flour was all mixed in, the directions said to pour in the milk and whisk it till I had the consistency I liked best. So I dumped in the milk.

Are you seeing anything wrong with these steps? I sure didn't. I was actually fairly proud that I got that far on my own.

So after I dumped in the milk ... all of it ... all 4 cups ... the sausage, flour, and milk clumped together to make the slimiest, chunkiest, wateriest gravy ever made. I stirred and stirred. And then I started to lose heart. "Why is it like this?" I said out loud. After a while, I gave up. "This is pathetic," I thought. And I started to pour it down the garbage disposal. As I heard the disposal choking down that nasty, chunky, watery goo, I started laughing out loud. I stopped, turned off the garbage disposal, walked to the bottom of the stairs, and hollered for my brother.

"Wes, I was gonna try to hide this so that my ego might stay intact, but you gotta come see this."

So my brother stumbled downstairs, and he walked into the kitchen, looked into the pan, and said something like, "What is that?" .... Wes is quite the chef ... or he's slowly becoming one, as he likes to say. And so he immediately put his hands to work, stirring and stirring, adding even more milk ... asking me what the heck I had done ... and so forth. Eventually, he gave up too.

Later that day when my mom came home, I decided to tell her about our little gravy excursion in the kitchen. As we talked about the ingredients and how I made the goop, my brother pulled the recipe out of the trash can, and the next thing I heard was ... "4-6 tablespoons." And then he started laughing. .... A "little" tid bit I failed to mentioned ... wondering if y'all would pick up on how my stirring in the flour "took awhile" ... is that I stirred in 4 CUPS of flour not 4 tablespoons! Yep. I didn't see "tbsps" at all on that silly recipe sheet until my brother pointed it out to me after the fact. So not only did I not use fatty sausage (my mom told me that fat of some kind ... whether it be from the sausage itself, butter, or another fat ... is needed to make gravy), but I also put in waaaayyyy too much flour. And the pathetic thing is that I didn't even know it!

I was put out initially ... but within seconds, I just started laughing! And then my brother and my mom joined in. 4 CUPS of flour? Are you kidding me? Oh, it was hilarious! .... Needless to say, I'm not too bright when it comes to cooking. .... I was also put out 'cause I was embarrassed .... humbled, you might say. ;) Just another glimpse of God's grace in action ... keepin' me humble day after day. :D

Again ... "God gives grace to the humble." (James 4:7)

GoG 6: The Greater Grace

Humility, although it is difficult, is a great picture of God's grace in our lives. I'm not talking about living a life of humility and putting others first. I'm talking about being humbled ... being humiliated or shown that you have made a mistake. I think being humbled is even more difficult than being a humble person, and being humble is mighty difficult!

Today, two things happened that brought me to my humbled knees. The first one was tiny, nearly insignificant, and really about my ego being hurt, which is a form of humility (the being humbled kind). I was helping Diazaun with his math homework at after school, and we were working on subtracting 2-digit numbers. The problem was something like 40 minus 15, and instead of adding a 1 next to the zero to make it 10 minus 5 and then marking out the 4 and making it a 3 - 3 minus 1, I tried to make the zero into a 9 and go from there. The humbling part is that I not only did NOT catch this huge error, but I was determined that it was the correct way of doing the math problem. Diazaun gave a me weird look ... so I looked to another adult. Remember, this is math homework for a 9-year-old. Ha! She gently tried to explain to me why I was wrong. She explained it a few times, and I still wasn't fully understanding. Eventually, I did a couple of made-up problems on my own and realized I was just "spacing out." (What?) Haha! It was hilarious, really. Thankfully, Ms. Sandy was gracious about it. She didn't make fun of me and say "Wow, you can't do 4th grade math? What the dilio!?" She just patiently tried to show me what was going wrong in my train of thought. But evenso, I was a bit embarrassed to say the least. And let's not mention the incident 10 minutes later where I couldn't spell the word "shepherd" for the life of me! ... Oh wait! I did mention it! ;)

The other humbling experience was more a bit more serious. I actually started thinking about it yesterday, but I've been thinking about it further today and being more convicted as well. ... I have a friend who has been really patient with me. I've been incredibly wishy-washy with him, and he has been entirely patient and gracious. We've had lots of confusion in our friendship and lots of missed signals and lots of me being a real jerk if you get right down to it. Yesterday, I started thinking about how ridiculous I've been. I'll spare the details for the sake of doing something right by him (for once), but it's just been a really messed up situation. I've handled things badly, for the most part, and God started really convicting me of it all last night. Much of what was confusing and messed up we got all out on the table and talked about it, but lately, I have been harboring wrong thoughts towards him and not doing right by him in specific ways that he doesn't even know about. And today, I've been convicted for doing some of these things again. .......... All of this to say, God is breaking me down in this area. He is helping me realize that I am doing wrong by this friend even more than I thought and that I must repent ... and talk to this friend about it all. In other words, God is humbling me.

Again, humility is a very difficult thing for us depraved beings. It's never easy ... at least in my opinion. And being humbled is even worse. It is so important but always hard to face. But at the same time, it is a gift from God. A gift wrapped in His grace. He humbles us so that we can realize our need for Him. He loves us so much that He wants us to be at peace with others ... at peace with ourselves ... and at peace with Him. And that is why is humbles us in the ways that we need it. James 4:6 says, "He gives us a greater grace. Therefore it says, 'God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.'"

I don't think God just gives grace to the people who live humbly before Him and live humbly concerning others. I think He also gives us grace in our moments of humilation and in the moments in which we find out we have been wrong or have wronged someone. Remember, grace is giving what we don't deserve. In our moments of weakness, God gives us help from on high, which is His mighty grace in action. :) He gives us greater grace, even greater than our weakness. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for that!

Lonely Heart

From time to time, my friend, Ben, asks me if I'm lonely. I remember the first time he asked me that. I chuckled a bit thinking "what a question to ask." Ben's really good at probing. He's real, and he wants to know what is really on a person's heart ... none of that masked stuff. :) It's one of my top 10 favorite things about him. .... I answered "no" the first time he asked. And most of the time, I continue to answer "no." But if he were to ask me today, I would say "yes."

"Yes, Ben." I would say. "I am lonely."

I'm in a crazy season of life. Yes, we all go through it. Yes, I have friends who are going through it with me. Yes, I will endure it and come out stronger because of it. But right now, living in it, it's not the funnest time of my life. It's good for me ... no doubt about it. I still have joy in this time - thank you, Lord. I am somewhat excited about the new bends in the road that the Lord is and will continue to bring. But it's kind of rough some days.

Friends are getting engaged, getting married, having babies, moving away ... and others are just headed down paths totally separate from mine. We're all growing up ... going our separate ways. .... There is just so much change happening all at once! ....................................................................................................................................................... Ha! I don't really know where to go from here.

All I hear is ... "Lonely heart, look to God."

GoG 5: The Life Blood

I love southern gospel music. I know that probably sounds cheesy to most of you ... my friends laugh at me too. ;) But it's just amazing stuff! You can't beat 4-part male harmony ... you just can't! :) ... Ernie Haase and Signature Sound are a great gospel group that I started listening to a year or two ago, and they sing a song called "Oh, What a Savior." Today, I was driving and listening to this song. There is a line in the song that is mighty powerful, and it says ... "He gave His life's blood for even me."

He gave His life's blood for even me.

Did you read that a second time? That's a really good line if you think about it. It's a good line if you don't think about it. Ha! A line. "A line" sounds like a cheap saying from some ego-strickened guy trying to pick up a girl. "He gave His life's blood for even me" is not a line. It is a saving declaration.

I love that phrase "life's blood." It really gets across the depth of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. His life's blood ... the very substance that kept Him alive was taken ... was GIVEN. Jesus GAVE His life's blood ... He gave His very life ... for me ... for tiny, insignificant, sinful me ... even me.

Usually, when I listen to that song, I get caught up in the beautiful harmonies. Yes, I think the words are great, but I often focus more on the talent of the artists than I do on the saving declaration they are proclaiming. Jesus gave His very life for me! That is big! That is huge!!! His life is our salvation!

And our salvation is something that we do not deserve ... it is something we can never deserve. And yet He gave His life's blood for even us - depraved sinners. And that, my friends, is the ultimate example of grace in action.

Ephesians 1:7-8a
In Him, we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses according to the riches of His grace, which He lavished on us.

GoG 4: The Phone Call

I'm not really at liberty to say why Hannah's call is God's grace in action for me today ... but it nearly literally felt like a breath of fresh air to hear her say "Is this Mical? Hey, this is Hannah Kay" on the other end of the phone. Hannah is a new friend of mine, and really, it's hard to call her a friend ... not because she's not amazing ... she is! It's just hard 'cause we've only met twice, and neither time was real conducive (I hope that's the right word) for getting to know each other.

All I really know about her is that ...
She is marrying my good friend, James Nilsen.
She is transferring from Ball State to IUPUI.
She just moved to Indianapolis.
She works at a Red Robin somewhere.
She and Emily have a lot in common.
And ...
She is gorgeous, incredibly sweet, cute, and tons of fun!
:)

Her call today was so ... I didn't think timely was the right word, but ... yes. Timely.
I have some "issues" that are nearing their end ... but there are threads of "ache" still attached to my heart, and they are in their final stages. Just some tiny details of a past hurt that need surrendering. And they've actually been weighing on me a bit the past couple of weeks. But Hannah's call. Yep. It was so timely and full of God's grace. :) .... Surrender is such a process. Surrender as a process has been the greatest lesson of my life over the past 3 years. Thankfully, God is beyond faithful. :) And by God's grace, He is bringing little things, like Hannah's phone call, along to help me surrender everything to Him - totally and completely.

Verse for the day ...
Psalm 55:22 - Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you.