GoG 23: The Hodgins' Situation

So I don't watch a lot of TV. I try not to 'cause there really are better ways to use my time. But there are a couple of shows I enjoy. I used to watch Family Matters and The Cosby Show a lot growing up. These days, I've been watching Chuck and Bones. Chuck is the only one I've been sort of keeping up with. I've gotta find out if Chuck and Sarah ever really get together! ;) .... Tonight, my mom was out shopping for food for The Porch (Stop by sometime! The brownies are amazing!!!!! And the other food too.), my dad was watching college basketball, and my brother is at USI. So I decided to take some rest time ... just chill for the evening. I got on "hulu" and watched some episodes of Bones.

One episode had a situation that I identified with a lot ... and I'm gonna call it my glimpse of grace for today. :) There are two characters in the show named "Hodgins" and "Angela." They are scientist-type people who work in the lab on the show. Well, (last season, I'm guessing) they were "together." Then they broke up. This season, Angela is with another guy, and Hodgins is having a hard time with it. He thought he had moved on and was fine, but when Angela and the new guy started dating, he realized he was really struggling.

Thankfully, I'm not going through that NOW. But I was a few months ago. I know what it's like to "break up" and miss that person. While that person was single, it wasn't toooo bad. But when he finally got a girlfriend, "it was like someone stabbed me with a knife." Hodgins said that ... and I remember saying something similar last year. ...... But what I liked most about this part of the episode was that Hodgins went to his psychologist friend and told him that he wanted to be happy for Angela and the new guy ... that he didn't want to be mad or jealous. They continued to talk, and the psychologist friend said, "I don't think you're jealous. You're grieving over what you lost." And I immediately said, "yes!" ..... I don't think I was ever jealous of my friend's new girlfriend. I was happy for them. But I still had a stinging feeling every time I thought of him or "them" being together. I truly was sad, grieving, even ... over the loss of the relationship ... and even the friendship.

This may sound like an over-dramatic depiction of my past, but it's what happened. I'm so thankful that I still love and respect that friend more than he knows, and I think his girlfriend is an amazing girl .... 'cause even though I'm healed over that situation and so happy for the friend (and new friend), it was rough for quite a while. And it WAS grief. I lost something ... someone. Thankfully, it's pretty much better. I'm actually excited about things again ... and really starting to grab hold of the lessons that God taught me through the situation ... seeing that God is "finishing the good work He started" and "working it all out for my good" ... just like He promised. So Hodgins' situation was just another reminder of the lessons and the grace that God gave me and continues to give me in the process every single day.

GoG 22: The Awesome Spring Semester

I like to talk to myself ... all the time. And I talk out loud with myself. I have full-out conversations with myself. It's very productive. ;) ..... Yesterday, I was driving home from working in the writing center, chatting with myself about the day's efforts. We haven't had many people come in for tutoring 'cause it's the first couple of weeks of the semester. I've had one tutee per day this week. But we find ways to stay busy in the writing center. .... On my way home, I was thinking about the writing center and how good it has been for me over the past (almost) three years ... and how much I've enjoyed working there. I also started thinking about how this semester has been and will continue to be great because I'm doing the things I love! :)

This Spring I get to spend my time working at Calvary prepping for time with my SoZo kids ... planning activities, lesson plans, events outside of youth group, praying for them, etc. I get to work with people and their writing every Thursday and Friday ... chatting with them, serving them, and hopefully, making their day better. I get to hang out with my Eastside kids every Wednesday and Thursday afternoon ... loving on them, helping them with their homework, running around and playing games with them. I also have more time for nurturing friendships, exercising, and spending time with God (something I need to do more of!). Life is just plain good. :) And it reminded me of God's grace because He allows me to not only enjoy but have time to work in my callings and get paid for it!!!! There is no greater blessing!

GoG 21: The Mr. Cory

Behind again. I have a feeling this is gonna happen all 365 days ... ha ha!

Thursday's glimpse of grace came in the form of one sentence.

"It's always good to see you."

An amazing guy named "Mr.Cory," as we kidos and helpers call him, visited us at after school on Thursday. He leads the Bible study for the kids on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, so I see him every Wednesday but not usually on Thursdays. It's always a great surprise when he pops in on Thursdays from time to time.

Cory is probably one of the coolest and greatest men I know. I've said before (mostly to myself) that if he were 10 or 15 years younger and single, I'd marry him in a heartbeat! He's just awesome! He works in kids' ministry and has a great passion for it. Loves the Lord with all he's got and really "gets it" about Jesus ... he's not just a fire insurance kind of Christian - he is a mighty follower of Jesus Christ. He is a big kid in a lot of ways too, so he works well with the kids. He's got a loud personality that just screams Jesus and fun! He's just great. ... I've been working with him through the after school program for almost a year and a half, and he's just one of those people that brings joy to your heart when you see him.

On Thursday afternoon, he was sitting at the table eating dinner with the kids, and I was standing across the table. He looked at me and said, "Miss Mical, how are you doing?" And then he smiled at me and said, "It's always good to see you." And I could tell that he really meant it. ... And I told him the same 'cause I love it when he comes to after school - he lifts my spirit just by being in the building! His passion for the Lord and fun-loving personality are amazing! I wish I could work alongside him more often. I hold him in such high esteem. And for him to say, "It's always good to see you" was a great encouragement ... and it really gave me a glimpse of God's grace in my life.

I usually only see Mr. Cory once a week ... and it's usually only for about a half an hour. He comes just in time for the Bible study and leaves shortly thereafter. He's a busy kids' minister at College Park Church in Indianapolis. And he serves so often and across broad projects on the Eastside. We've had a number of conversations about inner city ministry, what I wanna do with my life ... and a couple of "Mical, I can see you here on the Eastside" and "Mical, I've seen real character in you" kinds of conversations. It has been a tremendous blessing getting to know him and working with him in ministry. He truly is an inspiration and an amazing man of God. Ha! Can you tell I think this guy is cool? :D ....

God allows these kinds of people in my life everywhere I go. I get to work with my pastor in ministry. I've worked with my youth pastors, Michael and Shelley. Mr. Doug and Mr. Derrick from after school. James Nilsen. Tim and Keri McRoberts. And Mr. Cory. All of these people have been a huge blessing in my ministry life. God loves me enough to allow me to work alongside amazing men and women of God in His heart's desire - people. And not only that ... but these people love and appreciate me in the process. They encourage me and provide opportunities for ministry. It's an amazing blessing to work with such people ... and it's just another sign of God's grace in action in my life each day.

GoG 20: The "Week-Long Drive"

I was headed to after school today after working at the church for a couple of hours, and I really didn't feel like going. Yes, believe it or not, I didn't want to be at after school today. The reason? The drive is so long. On Wednesdays, I drive nearly an hour to the Eastside for the after school program. And although I adore my kids, that drive is rough. I've been driving it for almost a year and a half ... and I've been driving the long haul to IUPUI's campus (only about 10 minutes shorter the distance) for nearly 4 years. The same road, the same buildings, the same speed limits. It's just redundant. I was losing my mind on my way there today. But anyway ... today I just really didn't feel like makin' the drive. I have also been feeling like I'm not really needed at after school 'cause my location only has 6 to 8 kids and 4 adults every Wednesday and Thursday. 2 kids per adult is a lot.

I don't help out at after school to feel needed ... and I reminded myself of that today. I go because I am in love with these inner city kids. I am blessed EVERY single day I go. I go to serve. And I love it! Just some days ... when that drive feels like a week. A week there and a week back ... I just let my ... well, I guess you could call 'em selfish ambitions ... get in the way.

God, in all of His mighty grace though .... ha! He did it again ... poured it on me again today. :) .... I got to Shepherd Community Center where I pick up food to deliver to the after school locations. Last semester, I delivered food to three locations including my own. This semester, we agreed that I would only deliver to my location for scheduling reasons. .... Well, today, Shepherd had me deliver to Brookside Church, one of the other locations. When I got there and walked through the door with the food, the first thing Mr. Scott said to me was "Hey, do you wanna help us here today?" I kept walkin' and yelled back "Do you need help today?" ... After I finished dropping off the food, I stopped and asked again "Do y'all really need my help here today?" And I agreed to talk to Mr. Doug, the really cool guy who runs my location ... and so ... after we got our kids settled (we had several more than 6 or 8 today ... and more adult helpers too ... whatta ya know?), I took off for Brookside and helped them out with their many kids this afternoon.

Ha! Ya see? ..... I started laughing when I got into my car after dropping off the food at Brookside because I didn't know what else to do. I immediately knew that Mr. Scott asking me to help them at Brookside was my glimpse of grace for the day. .... There I was, on my way to after school, driving that "week-long drive" to the Eastside, thinking that I was burned out and "not needed anyway." But I get to the Eastside, and not only have we doubled our numbers at my after school location, but I am needed at another location. It was awesome! .... I don't deserve to be needed, but God, in all His grace, decided to allow me the privilege of delivering to a location I wasn't originally supposed to deliver to and help at a location I don't ever help at. I was needed after all. And that, is God's grace in action! :)

GoG 19: The A, O, and W

I've been thinking a lot about servanthood over the past couple of days. Early this month, I asked my SoZo kids to write down some goals for themselves this year. The following week we talked about goals for ourselves as a group. Most of the kids said that they want to do service projects this year. I was excited to hear this from them, so this past Sunday night we started looking at servanthood. We're in the process of picking out a life verse for SoZo this year, writing out a service goal statement, and brainstorming ideas about serving in our youth group, our church, our families, and our community ... as well as the wider community - we're going to Nashville, TN the last week of June to help out with a kids' summer program. The kids and I are really excited about it. And I'm really excited about setting new goals for serving others this 2010.

Today was one of my first big days "in the office." Yep, I have an office now, which is weird. Tuesdays and Wednesdays are my "SoZo days," as I like to call 'em. I'll be at the church for a certain number of hours every T and W working on lessons and planning activities, ect., ect. Well, in beginning more hours at the church, my mind was all about SoZo today. I went to Heather's swim meet tonight (Heather is one of my fabulous SoZo girls), and on my way home from her meet in Lebanon, I talked out (yes, out loud) some ideas I have for SoZo this year. And that discussion (with myself - ha!) concerning SoZo turned into a discussion about me and my own life.

I've been praying a specific prayer for several years now .... "Lord, wherever you want me to go, whatever you want me to do, I will go ... I will do it. I will ... without hesitation." .... And that prayer is still my heart's desire. And I got to thinking about that prayer today as I thought about servanthood. .... I don't know where God is leading me. I'm pretty confident He'll put me with a group of kids or a group of youth (or perhaps both) ... but that's about as much as He's given me so far. ;) ..... And these thoughts about my future - the whole going wherever God wants me to go and doing whatever God wants me to do stuff - also got me thinking about my "waiting" post that I posted yesterday. In being ready to go and to do without hesitation, I also want to be serving God while I wait on that "wherever" and "whatever" He has in store for me.

On my way home from that swim meet, I said ... "Lord, I want to serve you now. I want to honor you with my life now. Lord, I want to be available. .... Ha!" Yep, that's it. I laughed out loud after that because being available, being observant, being willing is exactly what we talked about at church a couple weeks ago. Pastor Roger encouraged us ... challenged us ... to be available to God NOW! While we're waiting.

God loves us enough to give us grace in the waiting seasons. His grace is Him giving us purpose even while we wait. He wants us to be Available, to be Observant and Willing ... not moping in a corner hoping for something better. He wants us to act! He wants us to live in purpose and joy while we wait for that good work in us to be completed. And that's what I (further) realized today. "Lord, make me available for you to use ... and mightily!"

GoG 18: The Grad Card

One of my earlier GoG's was about my graduation open house that I had on January 9th. Today's GoG is about a special card I got from my grad party.

My friend, Keri, is probably one of my favorite people in the whole world. She is a ton of fun, a striving mother, friend, and woman of God, and a fellow strawberry-blond. :) I've always thought that if she weren't in a separate season (ha! didn't I just talk about seasons?) of life, we would be best friends. She's an awesome woman from my church, about 9 years older than me, married, with four kids. I love her to death!!!! Every time I see her, I think, "gosh, I wish we could hang out more, talk more, be best friends, ect." No joke. Just about every time I see her I think that! She is just awesome.

Anyway ... now that you know a little about Keri ... you should know that she's the one who wrote this card. It was my favorite card of the day.

On the front of the card was a picture of a door in the side of a grassy hill. It was an open door.

And here's what she wrote in the card ....

"Mical -

This is the last card my sister-in-law made for me - she took the picture. :) Anyway, consider it an open door - a beginning of a new chapter in your life! Congratulations on your graduation. I'm proud of you for sticking it out and seeking God with tears on His direction for your life. He loves you so much - be encouraged - He knows the plans He has for you. And in the "bases sense" you've been doing His will all along: to know Him better, love Him more, share that love with others - lifting Him up. You are a wonderful girl and we are so blessed to know you - we are better people because of you.

Congrats again and may God bless you as He uses you.

Love you,

Tim, Keri, Lucy, Caleb, Will, and Sam"

This short letter was a great encouragement to me because ...

#1 - It was from Keri McRoberts, and I adore her!

#2 - It was personal ... handwritten, from the heart (those who know me well, know that I'm not a big fan of store-bought cards ... I wanna hear YOU!) :)

#3 - It was full of words of love and encouragement. Keri telling me that I have been living up to my goals of knowing Christ better and loving Him more is the greatest encouragement anyone could ever give me. Those ARE my greatest goals. And even though I do fail from time to time and I often feel like I fail in them all the time, I'm not. She is pointing out my victory in this area of my life. Yes, it's a process. It's a victory I must strive to achieve everyday. It's not a one-time thing ... knowing Jesus better and loving Him more is a life-long goal. But I'm on my way. And I am so thankful that Keri has not only been observing my life but pointing out the good that is coming out of it. Praise the Lord for being at work in me ... and for giving me cherished friends who will push me and encourage me along the way. And it's all by His grace. :)

GoG 17: The Wait

Yesterday's GoG came in the form of a song. I think I've shared it on my blog before ... a long time ago ... but it's really good. Here it is again ...........

While I'm Waiting

By: John Waller

I'm waiting ... I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful

I'm waiting on you, Lord, though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting

I will serve you while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting

I will not fade

I'll be runnin' the race, even while I wait

I'm waiting ... I'm waiting on You, Lord, and I am peaceful

I'm waiting on You, Lord, though it's not easy

But faithfully, I will wait

I was listening to this song on my way home from church on Sunday afternoon ... just feeling down because most of my friends are getting married and having babies and well ... they're leaving me. Even if they aren't moving away (which some of them are!), they are still leaving me because they are in a different season of life ... a season I can't really be apart of. I was really sad. I was on the verge of tears before I even left the church. And when I got in the car, this song popped in my mind, so I put it on. And it was my glimpse of grace because of what I just typed ... the lyrics. The lyrics of this song are so powerful. .... I'm in a season of waiting. I don't know where God is leading. All of my plans have been changed. I am not where I thought I'd be at this stage in my life. I'm not in a bad place ... not at all ... I'm where God wants me. But I'm waiting on Him for direction in so many ways. I'm waiting for Him to give me a husband ... I'm waiting for the results of my test ... for direction after I have those results ... ministries ... I'm waiting.

But I love this song because it reminds me that no matter what season I'm in ... whether waiting, exciting, hurting, changing, ect. .... I MUST serve Him, worship Him, seek Him, honor Him while I wait. And that's what I want to do! I want to serve Jesus Christ while I wait on Him for direction ... for His plan and purpose for my life. And that's what God was reminding me of yesterday afternoon. "Mical, so much is changing for you, but I do not change. Serve Me while you wait. I love you, dear child." And so I will serve my Lord .... while I wait.

GoG 16: My SoZo Guys

So much for posting every single day, huh? Ha! Well, here's Saturday's GoG. ... If I can remember it. Hmm ....

Ah, yes ... Saturday night I went to Jonathan and Levi's basketball game at Bethesda Christian School. Jonathan and Levi are two of my SoZo guys. ...... I guess the GoG is pretty simple. I was sitting in the bleachers watching the game ... and watching my guys.

Jonathan tore his ACL several months ago, had surgery several months ago, and his knee still acts up from time to time, so he couldn't play in the game ... he's actually been out for a few weeks and is pretty bummed about it, so say a quick prayer for him as you read this, if you will. :) .... Anyways ... I watched him as he sat on the sidelines with his teammates. He would stand to his feet and cheer when an awesome 3-pointer was made. He would stand up and scowl when a bad call was made. He would stand up and welcome his teammates back to the bench during time-outs, patting them on the back and speaking encouraging words to 'em.

Levi sat on the bench most of the game. Bethesda was barely up most of the game against Indianapolis Metro, so he didn't get to play as much as he would've liked. I compare him with my brother. Wes was a really good basketball player in high school, but the coach didn't play him nearly enough. So is the same with Levi. But just like Wes did in high school, Levi sat the bench quietly, never taking on a bad attitude, always cheering for his teammates, showing real character.

And David ... or Super Dave, as we like to call him in youth group ... Jonathan's younger brother. He plays soccer, so he was standing in the student section of the bleachers laughing, cheering, eating snacks from the concession stand, simply having a good time. He likes to smile ... and laugh ... he does them both a lot and quite well, I might add. ... Some people are really good at laughing while others are lame at it. Super Dave is a great laugher! His laughs are contagious, and his smile makes my day ... if not everyone else's. :)

Watching these three guys, I could not help but smile. Smile? Heck, I was beaming. Jonathan, Levi, and Super Dave are my guys. Whether they know it or not ... whether they wanna be or not ... they are my guys. I am incredibly proud of them. And I love them more than they know. I sat in those bleachers smiling from ear to ear simply because I have the privilege of having them in my life every Sunday morning and Sunday night during SoZo. God loves me enough that He gave me 3 upstanding, hilarious, talented, quiet but fun guys to share life and growing up in Christ with. Yep ... God's grace in the form of my SoZo guys. Praise God for them!

GoG 15: The Text Message

On Friday night, I went to hang out with some friends ... to watch movies, eat junk food, chat, laugh, and just enjoy each other's company. I got there an hour late ... took a long nap that afternoon and just took my time getting there. I don't like to be late to get-togethers, or anything for that matter, but it was nice to just chill. I was also having a kind of bad night ... just put out about something (silly) and just feeling like bllllaaahhh. I left the house hoping that some time with friends would help. (It did.)

On my way to the girls' night, Emily texted me asking, "Are ya still coming to Lawana's?" I said, "Yep, just leaving my house." And I asked her if she was still at home, hoping she could ride with me. But seeing as I was very late, she was already there. But after asking her if she was home, she said, "No, I'm already here. I just want you here. It's that whole being in the same room with you thing. I miss you." .... And it was just one of those timely little bits of encouragement that God, in His love and faithfulness, brings to us right when we need it most - hence, the "timely" I just mentioned. :)

Emily is my best friend in the whole world ... my bosom buddy ... my soulmate (until I find my husband) ... my other half ... ect., ect. And we talked a while ago about how we just feel better about everything when we're together ... or really, when we're just in the same room together. We don't even have to be next to each or talking to each other ... we just like to know the other is close by. So to get her text that night was just a huge blessing. ... And a sign of God's grace in my life because I have a friend as dear and close to me as Emily.

GoG 14: The Calling

Gosh. Gettin' behind again. This every single day thing is hard!

Today's (or rather - Thursday's) glimpse of grace came in the form of frustration. .... I've been working with some really amazing kids on the Eastside of Indianapolis for almost a year and a half now. It is an awesome time every Wednesday and Thursday ... a time of eating with the kids, laughing with them, helping them with homework, playing games, talking, and learning more about how we can love Jesus - together. ... Well, a lot of the kids didn't have homework today, so after we ate, I was in charge of 5 kids. We were supposed to set up chairs for a group that comes to the church later in the week. Kids are crazy creatures ... they are loud, rambunctious, and well ... a little distracted. We started taking the chairs down, but before I knew it, half of the kids were running and sliding across the wood floor, others were playing the piano, writing the the chalkboard, and just runnin' around actin' crazy, as kids often do. After a while (and after several times of telling the kids to help set up the chairs), I was getting frustrated. When kids don't listen (even after 5, 6, 7 times of telling them to do something), it gets a little frustrating. .... Finally, I told them we had five minutes to put of the rest of the chairs and then we'd play a game ... they somewhat got it together and started helping. We finally finished setting up the chairs and started the game. And I sighed a sigh of relief and let out my frustration ... and we started playing a game (that was actually really fun!).

The grace in that situation is that ... in all my years of working with kids, I never get burned out to the point of quitting. And as I get older, I become more patient with my kids. No matter how crazy the day is or how rebellious/crazy/frustrating the kids get (which is not very often - but definitely from time to time), I never want to quit ... in fact, I also want to go back for more! :) ... And it is in these moments that I get my confirmation that I AM, INDEED, living out my calling. And that is God's grace in action - giving me a calling and ability/patience/joy/strength to do it everyday.

GoG 13: The Changing Seasons

Alright. One more for the night. I am finally caught up after this one! :D .... Today, I met with Alex, my most faithful blog follower, surrender sister, and friend. We meet from time to time to have "Jesus Talks," as we like to call 'em. Alex is one of those cool Jesus people. She loves the Lord with all she is, and it really shows in everything she is and does. That's why we call 'em Jesus Talks ... because she always points us to Jesus. She's pretty great. She also likes to hike out by busy streets and run ahead so I can barely catch her ... but we'll save that story for another day. ;) Just teasin' ya, Alex! :D:D:D

Anyway ... today, we were just finishing up our walk through her neighborhood, standing in her driveway, when we, like I just said .... were standing. Yep ... just standing. We didn't stand in silence for too long, but it was great. Today was a beautiful day. It was warmer than it's been in several weeks ... the sun was shining, and there was a cool breeze. Alex said it felt a little like spring with the warmth of the sun and the birds chirping. As we stood there, enjoying the warm(er) weather, standing in silence, I breathed in the cool January air, listened to the birds chirping and the wind rustling the trees, and I looked up at the pure, blue sky. It was gorgeous for those few moments. And I turned to Alex and said, "This is our glimpse of grace for today."

And it was. We chatted for a minute about how not only the gorgeous day was His grace in action but how the changing seasons are His grace. We don't deserve variety. We don't deserve the fun each season brings, the beauty each brings. But God gives 'em anyway.

So the next time you think, "I hate winter. It's so cold out here." think about God's grace. :)

GoG 12: The Little Rosey-Cheeked, Brown-Eyed Girl

Last night, I went to see one of my girls play in her first basketball game of the season. She plays on the 7th grade Avon Orioles "B" Team at Avon Middle School North. I didn't know there was more than one game, so I got to Zionsville's gym a little before 5:30pm and shortly thereafter, realized that Caylee did not play until the second game. At around 6:45pm, Caylee and her team took the floor. .... Now, I like basketball. I like sports in general. But sitting in a gym where the only person I knew was Caylee, who wouldn't be down on the floor with her team for another 45 minutes, I was getting a little antsy.

Half-way through the "A" team's game, a mother and her three kids came and sat right in front of me. She had two sons who looked to be maybe 8 and 11 years old. And she had a daughter who looked like she was 5 or 6 years old. .... She was adorable. She had really red cheeks and the biggest brown eyes I've seen in a long while. She was pretty funny to watch. One minute she was drawing on the basketball roster that was handed out before the game, using her mom's back as a hard surface. The next minute she was laying on her back, lifting the roster and her pen, trying to draw a picture with these in the air. All the while, she was talking to herself. She ran up and down the bleachers, hung on her dad's arm, continued talking to herself. Just being cute like lots of 5-year-olds are.

I took her as my glimpse of grace for the day because I took joy in watching her be a 5-year-old. Once again, it was a simple joy that tugged at my heart. 4, 5, and 6 year-olds are hilarious and tons of fun (a handful as well but great!) because they are just starting to understand the world around them. It's just a funny stage of life because they are in discovery mode .... but also 'cause they are totally oblivious to self-esteem and boundaries and what to say/not to say, what to wear/not to wear ... all of the lame things we "older, wiser" people worry about. So they are just fun to watch. This little girl named Becca (she spelled it on a piece of paper ... B e c c Q. Nice, huh?) didn't care, or even notice, that she fell off the bleacher because she missed the seat entirely when she tried to sit down or that her hair was standing straight up, static-electrified after laying down on the bleacher for a few minutes. She was just having fun drawing and talking and jumping around on the bleachers.

And that's it. The innocence of a 5-year-old. ..... I used to be like Becca. Oblivious. And it was a good kind of oblivious. I didn't worry about any of the things I worry about now. I didn't care what people thought or fitting in. I just loved Jesus, and my confidence was in Him. .... What happened to those days? And how can I get 'em back? Thank you, Lord, for this tiny glimpse of grace.