GoG 38: The Sob

Super Bowl Sunday has never been a huge thing for me. I like football. I like the Colts. But I am just way too busy to keep up with the games. I think I saw half a game this entire season. I "watched" the Super Bowl, but I colored and dealt with "drama" for most of the evening ... so I was a tad bit distracted.

I had my youth group over to watch the Super Bowl ... and it turned into an alright evening overall, but we had some struggles. In effort to spare the details, I'll just say that I have middle schoolers in my youth group. Need I say more? ;) I love middle school. It is (somehow - Lord knows He gave me a gift!) my favorite age group. They are full of drama much of the time, but I just love 6th-8th graders. They are a ton of fun! Difficult at times ... but so fun! Well, we had a drama night at the Super Bowl party ... and I had to be ready on my feet the whole time. Never a dull moment with my kids. ;) ....

In working with youth, I have a tough job goin' for me. It is overwhelming at times ... and sometimes, there are situations that I just can't handle ... or don't know how to handle. Super Bowl Sunday turned into one of those situations. By the time I got home from taking some of the kids home, I was wiped ... even emotionally drained ... mostly because I have been going alone in this youth ministry thing for 9 months now. And youth ministry is nearly impossible to do alone. ..... I ended up talking (and crying) with my parents for almost an hour ... maybe longer ... that night when I got home. Conveying to them that "I can't do this by myself anymore." And it's true. I need help. Thankfully, my parents are amazing, and they are going to help me until we can find someone more permanent. :) .... But sobbing to my parents that night helped me realize something. Yes ... it helped me realize that I can't work in ministry by myself any longer .... but it also helped me remember that God is the one I need to be crying out to ... God is the one I need to look to for help and comfort and wisdom and the rest ... God is the one who put me in this ministry, and God is the one who is gonna help me complete this calling that He has placed on my life. ..... I've blogged before about realizing my dependence on the Lord .... or rather, remembering that I can do nothing without Him. And here He went again .... His grace again .... He needed me to know that I am helpless without Him .... He seems to do that most when my focus gets out of whack ... which is more often than I would like. ;) ... So ... He did it again. God revealed His grace by humbling me and making me recognize my need for Him once again.

GoG 37: The Clean Up

A week ago Saturday, a bunch of us girls got together for Emily's bachelorette party. Most of the bridesmaids and I took her out for a nice lunch and then some ice cream. It was a pretty fun day. But my favorite part was cleaning up the mess we made. Ha! That was my favorite part because I got to spend some, what I considered, quality time with my friend, Mags.

I think I've talked about Maggie on here at least once before ... Mags is my longest, loveliest friend ... my LLF. :) .... She has been my friend since I was 6 and she was 7 years old. We met at Calvary ... went to middle school and high school together ... and have just been the best of friends for ... wow ... it's been about 17 years. Crazy! .... Well, ever since she got married about a year and a half ago, we haven't gotten to spend as much time together as we used to. And now that she's having a baby, I'll probably see even less of her. ..... Every time I get to hang out with her these days, I think to myself, "Gosh, I'm so glad we're friends." And "Gosh, I know WHY we're friends." And "Gosh, I'm thankful for Maggie!" She's just one of those lifelong friends ... one I cherish very much. :)

That Saturday night, we got to clean up together. We didn't talk too much while we were cleaning up .... I think it was just that we got to spend some time together ... just the two of us while the others chatted on the couch. ..... I kept trying to pour the chips from the bowl back into their bag, and I kept missing and spilling 'em all over the counter .... we kept laughing at that. She is not supposed to be eating sugar while she's pregnant, and she kept stealing brownies and eating 'em ... and we kept laughing at that. We chatted about how goofy weight is 'cause it's so hard to keep off our bodies ... and she gave me all of the food that was left over so that I could take it to youth group with me the next day. I gave her the dishes while she loaded the dishwasher. I refilled the trash bag .... we cleaned up. It was as simple as that. But it was such a sweet time. Just spending time together. It was just a reminder of what a gift friendships are ... especially, long, deep friendships like my friendship with Maggie. .... God loves us so much that He gives us friends. Thank you, Lord. :)

GoG 36: The Selfless Love

Gosh. I'm still so behind. Will I ever catch up?

Last Friday ... ha! It's been a week ago Friday by now ... I watched a video by Joshua Harris. He posed the question "Are you searching for true love?" .... His video series was all about love, trust, and purity ... concerning relationships with the opposite sex. I was watching the series to see if I could use it in youth group. We watched the first video about love, but I decided to leave out the other two for now. But last Friday, I watched the video about love before I showed it in youth group on Sunday morning. In the video, Josh gave out three points that described what true love does.

#1 - True love lays down its life for others.

#2 - True love is sincere.

#3 - True love is revealed in Jesus' sacrifice on the Cross.

The big thing I took away from these three points is that true love ... the kind of love that is forever, that does not waver in tough times or put its own desires first ... TRUE love is selfless. If you think about it ... to be #1, #2, and #3, you must be selfless. Selfishness is the root of all sin. Every sin we commit points back to our own selfishness. But TRUE love ... the kind of love that Jesus has for us and the kind of love that we should have for one another is selfless ... it has no hint of selfish ambition ... no "me, me, me" attitude ... no "I." And that is what I need to be striving for. Josh's video was pretty convicting. God's words spoken through him were just another reminder of God's grace. God wants us to learn selflessness so that we can be totally consumed with Him ... so that we can live out our purpose completely. God wants us to live in joy and in purpose ... so much so that He will bring on the conviction ... bring it until we change. He's been convicting me of a lot lately ... and I am learning more and more that His conviction is His grace in action in my life ... because without it, I would be so far from His presence, from His will, from His plan ... that I wouldn't be able to come back.

True love is selfless. How are you loving, Mical?

John 15:13 - "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends."

GoG 35: The Scene

Soon after the movie, To Save A Life, came out in theaters, I went to see it to see if I could take my SoZo kids to see it. Having a pretty good idea about what the premise of the movie was, I thought I would be a mess on and off throughout the movie. The previews hinted around that a good friend of the main character in the movie commits suicide. And suicide is something I don't handle well. Someone I barely knew at all committed suicide a few years back, and I grieved for weeks. I just can't bare the thought that someone would be so hurt, so hopeless to the point of ending his own life. Suicide just tears me apart. So ... going into this movie, I knew I was running the risk of completely breaking down in the theater. Thankfully, I didn't lose it during that scene in the movie. But ... I DID cry during another part. It was a scene that probably wouldn't make anyone else cry. It took me completely off guard 'cause I just broke down with no warning.

The main character of the movie was a "jock," a popular guy, who seemed to have everything going for him - a beautiful girlfriend, a full-ride basketball scholarship to the college of his dreams ... good-looking, etc. etc. When his old friend from elementary school committed suicide, he really started evaluating his life ... wondering what the purpose of life was ... what he was doing with his life, and on and on. In one scene in the movie, he brought his girlfriend to youth group with him. Immediately, everyone started staring at them and whispering. She felt so judged that she left. Later on in the scene, after going out to console his girlfriend, he came back in ... and the youth pastor asked his kids to take a minute to evaluate their hearts ... asking themselves the question, "Who have I judged?" The guy (gosh, I can't believe I can't remember his name) sat down in the back and watched as several of the young people started talking about some girl they were interested in or what they were planning to do during the weekend or something totally distracting from the question they were presented with. .... Finally, this guy stands up and yells, "Didn't you all just hear what he said?!" And he goes on to tell the group that his girlfriend left because she felt judged. And he pointed at their hypocrisy and their fake Christianity ... shocked that they would proclaim something and not live it out.

You'd have to see this scene to really see what happened. It was the most powerful scene in the whole movie for me. I don't know where the tears came from, but I lost it. I think I saw how right he was .... how so many Christians proclaim Jesus as Lord, but they don't mean it. They are fakers. They are hypocrites! And then I thought about how I am a faker sometimes. I am a hypocrite at times. I judge people all the time. ..... I think they were tears of disappointment and hurt .... "How can we, as Christians, do these things? How can we give Jesus such a bad name?" .... But they were also tears of conviction. "I am one of those people who gives Jesus a bad name ... even if most of that hypocrisy and judgement goes on in my spirit .... it still comes to the surface for others to see at times ... and it still dishonors Christ whether on the surface or in my spirit." This scene just really got me thinking.

And even though conviction is never easy, it is God's grace in action in our lives. Without His conviction, we would be so far from His glory ... so far that we would never be able to find our way back. Praise the Lord for His mighty conviction and grace!

GoG 34: The Smile

Ha! This is really cheesy ... and such a girl thing to post ... but thankfully, I am both ... so it works!

A week and a half ago, I was in the gym ... I had just walked in, put my bag down, and headed for the elliptical. I looked up and started walking, and some guy said hi to me and gave me a warm smile. And I got all excited about it. And well ... that's all.

Sometimes, a glimpse of God's grace comes in something as simple as a cute guy smiling at you. :)

GoG 33: The Movie Night With Elizabeth

Wow. I don't think I could be more behind with this blog project. Darnit. Let's see if I can get caught up today. Ha!

Glimpse #33 ...

Way back on February 2nd, I took one of my SoZo girls to see Sherlock Holmes. Elizabeth is a huge Sherlock Holmes buff. She loves Doyle (the guy who wrote the Sherlock stuff). :) She carries his books around in her big bag all the time. :) We went to see this movie that night ... I picked her up at her house ... we chatted all the way there ... and after the movie, she was so excited! She thought it was the best movie she'd ever seen ... maybe even the best that has ever been made. She wants to take me to see it again. Ha! ....

God has blessed me in incredible ways by allowing me to not only spend time with my kids but lead them. I've been working with our youth group at Calvary for almost 4 years. Three of those years, I was an adult leader, but now, I'm the one in charge. Weird. But it's been such a blessing ... because I have the privilege of spending even more time with my kids. Taking Elizabeth out for the evening was just another glimpse of God's grace, reminding me of what a joy it is to work with youth ... and reminding me of why I love it so much. :)

GoG 32: The "Veg" Day

Glimpse of Grace number 32 ....

Today was a "veg" day: I slept in, I watched movies, I drank lots of sweet tea, I blogged.

Life is good.

And that! That is God's grace in action. :)

GoG 31: The Best Football Game Ever!

So .... I played the best football game of my life yesterday! It was so awesome! :D

A year or two ago, my good friends, Adam and Jason, started asking me to play football with them and the guys. Sometimes there will be another girl or two ... but often, it's just me and the guys. Yes! :D ...... You faithful blog readers have probably heard me refer to the "Cooks/Adamsons Gang" a few times. They are a family I am absolutely in love with. They're all related in one way or another - cousins, uncles, aunts, fathers/mothers-in-law, girlfriends, wives, etc. They are a ton of fun! And along with the Nilsens, they are my favorite family in the world! So I get really excited to play football with them!

Well, we organized a game for yesterday afternoon after church. We had 8 people ... just enough for a couple good games of football. Adam, Jason, and their cousin, Steve, and I were on a team ... against Jon, Jarrod, David, and Andy. Gosh, it was a good game! .... Adam and Jason usually pick on me 'cause I drop the ball a lot. I'm just a bit over 50% on catches during most games. I just get nervous. But I CAN catch the ball! :) .... Yesterday, I caught every pass ... I think they threw at least 5 at me! That is no 50%, yo! 5 for 5 ... and I had a couple of good blocks and threw off the QB with a blitz or two. Nice, right? ;) ... I'm bragging a bit ... which is actually my glimpse of grace for the day. God gives us really good days ... good games ... etc. 'cause He loves us. :) He also gave me some good laughs with some of my favorite guys, and everyone "kept their cool." Attitudes were good ... everyone played well ... it was just a great time of laughs and fellowship. God is good! :)

GoG 30: The Maggie Friendship :)

My friend, Maggie, and I have been friends for a lot of years. 17 years this month, actually. She and my "big brother" Adam are my two longest friends. Maggie has been one of my very best friends for 17 years. Wow. .... On Saturday, I threw her a baby shower. My best friend of 17 years is having a baby. Wow. We played games, ate fruits and veggies, even had some ice cream. But during the opening of the gifts, I got all sentimental. (Not unusual for me, I know.) ;) I was watching Maggie open her gifts, as did everyone else. I was standing in the back ... and as I watched her, I started thinking ... "Gosh, she is gorgeous." Then I thought ... "Wow, she's having a baby!" And then ... "We've been friends for such a long time ... that's so weird she's having a baby!" And ... "Maggie. She's been one of my best friends for 17 years!" .... "Gosh."

That's about how my thoughts went.

My friend, Adam, and his wife just had a baby last month ... that was weird too. .... It's weird seeing people you grew up with (and were/are close friends with) getting married and having babies. It just is. .... The glimpse of grace was just that, I think. Maggie. She is among the dearest and closest and most treasured friends I have. And we have been friends longer than I've been friends with anyone. And I believe we'll be friends forever. .... Friendship. Genuine friendship. That's my glimpse of grace for the day. :)

GoG 29: The Compliment

I've got another one-liner as my GoG for the day. :)

I've been going to FCA at the Danville High School for the past couple of weeks to offer support for the students there, and I was there this past Friday morning. On my way out, I walked with Mr. Burdsall. He is the FCA sponsor, and he and I have been friends since I started my FCA "officership" my sophomore year of high school. He was headed to the cafeteria for some coffee before first period, and I was headed to the front office to sign out and head home. We were chatting about FCA, and I said, "I'm glad to see that FCA is still kickin'." And he replied with ... "Yep, it changes every year. They're doing a good job. ..... You did an excellent job with FCA when you were here." .... And that was it.

I was surprised at how much that encouraged me. .... When I was in high school, I did choir (several choirs) and FCA. Those were the big things I was involved with. I loved FCA, and I took it very seriously. I did (and still do) consider it a HUGE privilege. We have the FREEDOM to worship God, proclaim Him as Lord - even!, in our schools all throughout this country. It is such a blessing! ... Such a privilege. (Ha! I'm going off again.) ;) ..... FCA just meant a lot to me in high school, so I did the very best I could with it. .... Mr. B telling me that I did a great job was just a great blessing that morning ... and more of God's grace in my life. Thank you, Lord!

GoG: 28: The Amazing Tutoring Session

On Thursday, I spent my second Thursday of the semester at IUPUI, tutoring papers. I had only one session scheduled for the whole day. A student came in, asking for help with an essay for an internship. She told me she needed to send it out later that day and that she came in for some last minute help. ..... I went into the reading of the essay thinking, "Okay ... some quick grammar, and we're outta here." But it turned into so much more than that.

Get ready ... only English majors get really excited about what I'm about to share. :)

At the IUPUI University Writing Center, we do so much more than just "check your grammar." And so it is awesome to have a student like Amanda sit down at the tutoring table ready to work. ... She told me she had been to the writing center a couple of times for this essay, and I could tell she was eager to get more help from me. That always helps the session go better, just knowing that the student is excited for feedback. We started reading, and in the first paragraph, we took a look at her "main idea," the idea that she would point back to throughout her essay ... the reason she wanted to be apart of the internship. We organized the sentence in such a way that her idea was not only clearer but introduced the idea rather than just throwing it at us (the audience) out of nowhere. When we finished and started to move on, she said, "Yeah, I really like that."

As we continued through the draft, we came across some good ideas ... but they were quite broad. At this point, we had the chance to discuss specific details. Specific details are a lot of fun to talk about with tutees because the writing turns into more of a conversation. A lot of students like to use general terms like "opportunities" or "things" or "jobs" or "this" or "that" etc. If you notice, these are very vague terms. We can go so much deeper than this kind of language. And that's what makes a conversation. With Amanda, I had the opportunity to ask her questions, probe a little deeper into what she was wanting to convey to her audience. She found out that she had some really good stuff to put down ... she just didn't realize she needed to. .... For all you writers out there, specifics are always good. The more specific you are, the better. But also, keep it narrow enough that your audience doesn't get bored and lose ya. ;) .... So we talked about specific details ... and really had a good ... well ... chat. :)

Lastly, we worked on some good ol' organization. In the drafting process, it is always good to just spit your ideas out. I like to say ... "Just puke something out onto the paper, and then go back and clean it up!" You wanna get all of your good stuff out before you forget it, right? :) .... Some students do that, but then they don't clean it all up afterwards. And some students just have a tough time with organization. Organizing your thoughts is a tough job. .... Well, Amanda did a pretty good job of organizing her thoughts ... but we did some final touch ups ... and it really turned out nice in the end.

What I liked most about the session is that it was a conversation about Amanda's writing. Some sessions are teaching lessons ... I find myself teaching the tutee about certain elements of the writing process. Teaching is good! We do that in the writing center too! But overall, tutoring should be a conversation between the tutor and the tutee. So it's always great when it turns out that way. ..... The session was one of the best sessions in my 3 years at the writing center. Probably in the top 5. :) .... And it was just a huge blessing! .... My goal for the semester is, what I like to call, "the three c's" ... Be Clear, Concise, and Confident. And that's what I did ... all three in one session! It's always great to be confident in your abilities. And confidence is just another act of God's grace in my life. :)

GoG 27: The Child's Prayer

Wow. Golly, I am behind! .... On to day 27.

Wednesday at after school, Hannah Crane prayed for our dinner. Hannah is the cutest (almost) 7-year old girls I know. She's a little white girl with long brown hair and big, gorgeous brown eyes. Sooo cute! She volunteered to pray for us on Wednesday, and instead of closing my eyes, I decided to watch her face while she prayed. Who says you have to close your eyes for a prayer? ;) .... It was the cutest prayer ... thanking God for the food, for the leaders who were there to help them (the kids) with homework and spend time with them ... but what I loved most about the prayer was Hannah's face while she prayed. She had popped a tootsie roll into her mouth right before the prayer, so she was chewing and praying at the same time. She was also closing her eyes really tight and squinting. It was as if she was concentrating really hard ... I guess it was hard to speak and chew and focus on what she was saying all at the same time. Ha! .... Well, it was about the cutest prayer ever, and I took so much joy in watching her little face as she prayed. I think tears came to my eyes. A child's prayer. Even the smallest of people can talk to God. And He hears them. :)