6 Things

I'm copying Emily :)

6 Positive Things about My Life ....

#1: I have HOPE and JOY in Jesus!
I am quite the worrier ... quite the spaz ... quite the striver. The tiniest things shake me up and stress me out. And I'm constantly beating myself up, thinking that I have the ability to be perfect. Ha! Riiigghhhht ... Ultimately, it's a trust issue and a negative attitude holding me down. I'm working on it. I really am. But these things are real struggles for me. BUT!!! In the midst of these DAILY trials ... GOD in all of His GRACE, helps me through it. He reminds me of His mighty promises ... things like ... He's gonna finish the good work He started in me. He's gonna work all of my difficult times out for my good and His glory. He's gonna reveal to me the path of life. He's willing me and working in me for His good purpose. And so many others. And that gives me hope. And He places an unbelievable joy in me at times ... unexplainable. When things are going all wrong, I have joy because He is my Savior, and He takes care of me.

#2: I have INCREDIBLE parents and a very INSPIRING brother!
My parents are my rock. They have supported me, stood by me, encouraged me, pointed me to Christ, listened to me ... all of my life. I've been in a season of trials for the past 5 or 6 years, and no matter how much I complain, vent, cry, pour myself out ... they always listen, give godly advice, and love me through it. They are two of the most godly people I know. And their love and support has meant more to me than almost anything in my life. I have the greatest parents in the world.
And Wes ... wow. He amazes me most of the time. Sure, he occasionally steals some of my stuff and takes it to school with him!! But that's okay, I guess. ;) ... He is growing in the Lord so much right now. He is so positive and upbeat and outgoing and determined. His constant energy and dreamer-mentality and positive attitude inspire and convict me more than anything else. I really want to be like Wes when I grow up. Confident. Always smiling. Always positive. Determined to not settle for less than his best. He's just an all-around great guy. And I'm quite proud of him, if you can't tell. ;)

#3: I get to work with and love on TEENAGERS every week!
I may not be a school teacher like I dreamed. But wow! Look at where God has placed me! Look at what He's done through me! I can't think of anything better than working with teenagers. They fill my life with so much joy ... I have a hard time believing that God's grace is that big. :D ... I will say that they make me insane sometimes ... their antics can get old. But God CALLED me to love teenagers! I. Am. Called. And somehow, no matter how nuts they can make me, no matter how hard the task in youth ministry (and there are a lot of 'em!), God gives me the grace and patience and love to NEVER wanna give up, to always love them. And I do. I. Do. Wow. Thank you, Jesus, for calling me to youth ministry!!!

#4: I get to DANCE, and I have an INCREDIBLE dance instructor!
Yep. Who's jealous? Everyone, I know. ;)
I get to take dance lessons 5 days of the week. I'm learning to be graceful and beautiful and confident ... and I'm not too bad of a dancer either. ;) It is a blast!!! But the best part about it is hanging out with my dance instructor, Randy. He is one of the most happy, upbeat, encouraging guys you'll ever meet. And I adore him! He is a ton of fun and has helped me more than he's knows. He is a gift from God, without a doubt.

#5: I have the greatest FRIENDS in the world!
I am incredibly blessed to have lots of friends ... but Emily, Hannah, Mags, and Shelley will probably always be my best friends. Emily is my bosom friend - the closeness of our friendship is not something that comes around in every friendship. We sometimes say that God made one person and split her into two beings - me and Emily. Hannah is my cookie cutter friend. We say that, at the beginning of time, God knew how much we needed each other, so He cut us out of the same cloth and decided that we would be friends one day. (Yes, my friends and I have lots of cheesy analogies). Mags is my LLF - my longest, loveliest friend - she has been my best friend longer than anyone, and the thing I appreciate the most about Maggie is that she is always my friend - always and no matter what. And Shelley is my youth pastor ... or his wife. :) She loves me and holds a special place in my heart ... since the 8th grade. Her influence and love is something I will never forget.

#6: I live in a FREE country!
You may say our country is going down the drain, but we still live in an amazing country. And I'm very thankful to be an American. I get to speak Jesus in my school and at work. I get to go to church every Sunday, and it's not underground. I get paid to tell teenagers about Jesus! In this country, I am FREE to be FREE in Christ. What a gift that is.

Dear Emily #1

I'm starting yet another series of blog posts ... will they ever end? Haha! They are called "Dear Emily" posts, and they will help me stay connected to my bosom buddy who now lives in Nashville ... 5 long hours away from Indianapolis. Sad day. Err ... but (this is supposed to be a happy idea) it's all good. We are staying close - thank you, Jesus, for facebook and blogs ... and BBFness. So here they begin ...

Dear Emily,
Your blog is amazing! And I'm so impressed with how often you post on it. I go away and don't read it for just a couple of days, and you have 3 or 4 posts up. Amazing! And they are always so fun.

Thank you for telling me ... ha! I mean everyone ... wow, I really do want you all to myself, don't I? Thank you for sharing so much on your blog. It really helps me stay connected with you.

I'm so thankful that you're doing well - in the midst of crazy emotions - and that King Barry is loving you so completely and taking care of you.

I want to tell you about some new plans of mine. :) I'm taking the Praxis again! Well, the first step is ordering my scores again. The Praxis people have started something new ... something called a composite score. If my math, reading, and writing scores from the Praxis 1 add up to 527, then I PASS!!! Even if my reading score is not up to snuff, the composite score will make up the difference. I ordered my scores yesterday, so I'll find out in a few weeks if I have to take the test again. But my plan is to pass the Praxis and start back to school to finish my teaching degree. I'm gonna work at Calvary with SoZo and go back to school. If things work out, I'll be ready to look for a teaching job for the fall of 2013. ... Whew. There's part of me that can't believe I'm gonna try this again. What the heck? What am I thinking? ... But I'm not at peace. I love my SoZo-ers, and I want my mom's business to succeed ... but I can't do what I'm doing forever. I can't even do it for another few years, really. Whew. I've gotta try again. I'm going to.

What do you think? Do you think I'm doing the right thing? Am I crazy for trying a 10th time!? Wow. God's going to help me. I can't do it without Him. It'll be devastating to fail again. But I've gotta try.

Missing you ... oh, so much.
Love you,
Mical :)

A Prayer for Today ... and Every Day

Gracious God,
Help me to keep my mind focused on You this day. Help me to understand more about myself today, especially who I am in Your eyes. Lord, calm my fears, relieve my anxieties, and teach me how to rely on You for security and support. Show me the pathways to joy and peace so that I may truly rejoice and sing praises to You. In Jesus' name I pray.
Amen.

This prayer touched my heart and brought me one step closer to letting go of my fears and worries ... while I was at a spiritual weekend experience this past May. So powerful ...

God's Grammar Rules: Adjectives

Ooo! Ooo! I'm so excited! I was just looking through some old posts, and I found God's Grammar Rules! Do you remember those posts? ... Well, it's time for another one. ... I looked up the definition for adjective, and my favorite DEF is "not able to stand alone; dependent." Good, huh?

When you think about adjectives, you can see that definition ... adjectives often describe nouns ... a noun can stand on its own in a sentence (Watch the cat run.), but an adjective can't (Watch spunky run.). It just doesn't work. But put 'em together, and you've got a more descriptive sentence (Watch the spunky cat run.) Ha! What a lame sentence ... but hopefully you see the point.

I like this new grammar rule for three reasons ...

#1: Being reminded that I can't stand alone helps me DEPEND on God. In my everyday life, I need God to survive - He gives me the very air I breath, and He can take it away. In my everyday life, I need God to help me overcome sin and trials, and without Him, I would just be a big tub of hopeless, sin guts. In my everyday life, I would probably sink into the depths of despair without His love and hope. My life is one big adjective. It exists to bring glory to the Noun, God, Himself. Apart from Him, I can do nothing.

#2: Also, in being an adjective, I need other parts of speech to help me be the best adjective I can be - often, those other parts of speech are verbs or other adjectives. ... I'm learning that it's difficult to stand alone. I've been very lonely lately. My friends will always be my friends - thank you, Jesus, for that. But they are still getting married, having kids, moving away. And that changes things for us ... there is no way around it ... change comes to friendships. God works in the midst of that change, but the change is still hard. My fellow verbs and adjectives are still doing their jobs to complete the sentence of their lives ... but they are leaving me to stand alone just the same. But again, I guess that DEPENDENCY on the Noun makes me a stronger adjective ... which will help me articulate more fully the awesomeness of the Noun to those around me.

#3: Lastly, I love being an adjective who describes the Noun because the Noun gives me a job to do - description - otherwise known as - PURPOSE. I have a reason to live and keep pushing forward in this sentence of life: The Noun loves me enough to give me a calling and to write my story everyday. The Noun thinks I'm beautiful. The Noun MAKES me beautiful. I may make the Noun look good by describing Him to a world of incomplete sentences, but He fulfills me and sticks with me so that I never have to truly stand alone.

I'd say being an adjective is okay ... wouldn't you? ;)
While I was going to school at IUPUI, writing papers and tutoring papers, I came across a lot of weak adjectives. The reason? Thinking up effective adjectives is hard work! You have to really think about it. But don't let that get you down. Be the best adjective you can be. Make Jesus look good! :)

The Cute Guy from High School ...

This is a totally ridiculous post.

I wanna know what's up with guys. How the heck can they have such a hold on a girl? Sheesh. ... I was at one of my SoZo senior's open houses a few weeks back and a guy I went to high school with came through the door. He graduated the year before I did. We were in choir together and some musicals. Wow ... I don't even know him that well, and as soon as I saw him, I got really nervous ... and really excited. Oh my gosh. I'm laughing at myself on the other side of this keyboard. Ha! What is up with that? I barely knew him in high school ... I'd only seen him once since he graduated ... what the heck? ... And what's worse ... he knew exactly who I was, talked to me so casually, and well, we just connected. Too much fun.

And oh, how the female mind works. ... I've been having a hard time not thinking about him since the open house. It is really obnoxious being a girl sometimes. My mind is running way ahead of reality. "Did he think I was cute? Is that why he was so attentive?" "Maybe he really will come to church, like he said." "And we could get to know each other ..." Ha! Need I say more? What a dork. If you're a woman reading this, do you know what I'm talking about? Has a cute guy ever paid attention to you, and you ran away with it? Hahaha! I'm laughing out loud once again. Ridiculous. ... Oh, well ... I'm young. I'm single ... very single. I'm allowed to admire God's good work. ... I'll keep being patient though ... God's got somebody for me ... someday. :)

What a hoot ...

Los Ra :)

Another favorite sight is mexican restaurants ... 'cause I love mexican food!!! But more specifically, I love Los Rancheros. MMMM, YUMMY! It's got yummy cheese sauce and sweet tea! It's the only mexican place around that has sweet tea ... that alone, makes it mi favorito! :D I also like it 'cause it's my CCF date spot. Hannah Baker and I meet there at least once a month for a chicken burrito with cheese sauce (no red sauce) and refried beans and a Mr. Pibb (for Hannah) and either beef soft tacos and refried beans or a chicken quesadilla (with no onions and green peppers), rice, and beans and a sweet tea (for me). A a small order of queso - of course! :D We've had lots of great conversations - about our bucket lists, about being single, about our hopes and dreams, about our struggles, about our passions, about the Lord ...






... It has definitely become a cherished place in my life :)

Gosh, I love this place!

Look at that! Isn't that the greatest thing you've ever seen?? :D
Haha! Well, it is to me. Aww, my home. Gosh, I love this place. I am probably the most blessed person on the planet when it comes to my home. Not only is it a great building with a classroom/3-car garage and barn and 2 acres of land ... but it's a place where love and spiritual growth and faithfulness and godliness and encouragement and hope have been given and shown to me for the past 18 years of my life. As part of my home, I have the best parents in the world. They love me unconditionally ... they have helped me grow in my faith probably more than anyone else has - ever ... they are incredible examples of godliness and faithfulness in my life ... and they give me constant encouragement about God's plan for my life and about who I am to them and to Christ. And I have an incredible brother who inspires me probably more than anyone else I know. He is so determined and strong ... he is so disciplined and uplifting ... the positive energy he gives off nearly 24 hours a day, 7 days a week is both convicting and encouraging ... and he is really beginning to grasp what's truly important in life - living his life all for Jesus and not for himself. My home has been all of these things with these people. It has been open to strangers and church members and other family members who needed a home for months and even years at a time. It has been a Sunday night/Wednesday night after church hang-out spot for Jack's frozen pizza and lots of laughs around our little kitchen table with the Cooks and the Dailys and the Stroups and others. It has been a place for basketball and go-carts and swimming and jumping on the trampoline and building tree houses with friends. It has been a school for me and my brother. It has been a safe place ... a refuge ... and a very dear place to my heart.

Ha! Sometimes, I just sit in my room and stare at my walls, thinking about how someday, I'm gonna have to leave this place. Someday, I'll have to move out and be an adult - either with a family of my own or a job or an apartment with friends. Someday, my parents will sell this place and move south. Someday, I won't be able to turn off of 36 onto our bumpy, gravel driveway and look up at this place and say, "gosh, I love this place." ... Wow, I am way to nostalgic for my own good, huh? :) I just love my home. What a gift from God.

Probably my favorite sight in the world ... now, do you know why? :D

Dance shoes in the rear view mirror ...

I've been wanting to start a new blog project for a while. My bosom buddy, Emily, over at "The Thought Spot ..." has been blogging a lot lately, and her posts are always so fun and creative. And I love keeping up with her life in Nashville. So in effort to help her keep up with my life in Indy (because she wants to know about it!), I need to start blogging again. So my new blog project is this ... posts (and pictures) about my favorite sights. Yes, I'm gonna start telling you about and showing you my favorite things to see.

And today's sight is my dance shoes. :)





I took these pictures several weeks back, thinking I would use 'em for this blog project. I had piled 4 or 5 of my kids into my car after a youth event, and they put my dance shoes in the window of my back seat to make more room for them to sit. I saw them in my rear view mirror everyday for a few weeks, and I always smiled when I saw them ... yes, dance really does bring me that much joy. Haha! Dancing has just been so fun and liberating and a self-esteem boost and a huge outlet for me, so just seeing my dance shoes gets me excited! I've told you about my incredible dance instructor, Randy ... and the other instructors are amazing ... and dancing is helping me stay away from loneliness. It's just been awesome. Everyone needs to find a hobby that they can pour themselves into ... 'cause it is so rewarding and really just plain helpful in life. I sure do love to dance!!!!

I love Mondays!

I love Mondays. I won't say they're my favorite day of the week because Sundays are and always will be - I love going to church! Hanging out with the Body of Christ is my all-time favorite thing to do. But I will say that Mondays are wonderful ... wonderful because they are my Sabbath. If you don't take a day of rest every week, you need to! First of all 'cause God commands it ... but also because it is just plain awesome. I started having a Sabbath every week beginning sometime during my freshman year of college ... and boy, did it start one of the greatest blessings in my life. It was such a huge stress-reliever to consistently take a day of from life every single week. It really helped balance me during my college years - every week, I took one day with NO homework, NO classes, NO work ... and it was amazing! 5 years later, and I'm still taking a day off. I call it my day off from life because I really do absolutely nothing on my Sabbath these days. I lay on the couch watching movies usually ... and I feel like a huge bum by the end of the day ... but wow, is it refreshing!

Today, I slept in until almost 1pm! When I finally got up, I fixed myself some lunch and plopped on the couch for a movie. Fireproof. It was so good - as always. Then I spent the afternoon reading my bosom buddy's blog. I guess I did something productive today ... I cleaned my room - my huge pile of clothes if finally off the floor. And I loaded some pictures onto my computer. And now, I'm blogging!!! And headed to dance later. But ultimately, I've had a lazy day, and it's been great!!!

Mondays are awesome!

30-day Jesus Day 5: The Psalms

I stared reading Psalms again recently. Saya was talking about heaviness of that book recently ... the ups and downs of the writer ... and I got to thinking about my life. I am up and down ... All. The. Time. Sheesh.

My season of life is so lame sometimes. Sure, I need to be thankful and look at things from God's perspective and be content ... and the list goes on. But I'm not. I'll keep trying ... but I'm not always doing and saying and being the right things. And that's okay. That's what I'm learning ... that it's okay to not have it all together. I've been fooling myself into thinking that I am supposed to have it together ... that I CAN have it together! Ha! Only one person ever had it together ... Jesus. Duh! So, again, I'm learning that I don't have it together (took me a while, huh?), and that's okay.

I've been gathering some encouragement from the Psalms. Here's what I've found so far .....

Psalm 1:3 --- "He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all he does, he prospers."

Psalm 2:11 --- "Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice with trembling."

Psalm 3:3 --- "But You, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head. I cried aloud to the Lord, and He answered me from His holy hill."

Psalm 4:8 --- "In peace, I will both lie down and sleep; for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety."

Psalm 5:11-12 --- "But let all who take refuge in You rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread Your protection over them, that those who love Your name may exult in You. For You bless the righteous, O Lord; You cover him with favor as with a shield."

Psalm 6:4 --- "Turn, O Lord, deliver my life; save me for the sake of Your steadfast love."

30-day Jesus Day 4: The Funk

Well, the 30 days of devotions right in a row is out! Sheesh! I have proven that I am the most undisciplined person in the world ... and now, the whole world can see it! Haha! Oh, well. I'll keep bloggin' the 30-day Jesus ... it just, obviously, won't be 30 days straight.

I was talking to my youth group kids, tonight, about ... yep, you guessed it ... my journey concerning an eternal perspective. And sharing it with them made me wanna share it with you.

At the beginning of the year, I posted about my goal to further gain an eternal perspective. And like I told my SoZo-ers, I am amazed at God ... because when we ask Him to teach us things ... HE DOES! Ha! Not very profound, I know. But a really awesome concept when you think about it. ... The GOD of the UNIVERSE cares enough about ME to TEACH me things!!! Wow!!! And ever since I asked Him to teach me more about this thing called an eternal perspective, He has. :) Lately, He's been bringing lessons in the form of The Faith Dare. So I must share again ... from this great book.

The last couple of chapters have talked about "getting out of the funks of life" and "overcoming our circumstances." Good, right?
The first part - The F.U.N.K. - talked about the definition of "funk" and gave an acronym for it. Really good stuff.
Funk - "a cowering fear or a dejected mood." Did you know that is the definition of "funk"? 'Cause I sure didn't.
The second part - the acronym for "funk" - is this ...
F - a problem with our FOCUS; a time when our FEELINGS prevail
U - UNDER the circumstances, UNDER the condition, UNDER the weather
N - NEEDY or NOT thankful
K - KEEPING the fire of the funk burning by tending to it, KEEPING it alive

If you really stop and think about this acronym, you will be amazed at how right it is. Man, the funks of life (our bad moods and even the things we fear) always start with getting our focus off Christ. Hebrews 12:2-3 says, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him, endured the Cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him, who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Jesus DESERVES our attention ... our FULL attention. He does not ever want us to take our eyes off of Him. In other words, He always wants us to maintain an eternal perspective. And if we remember what Jesus went through to give us our very lives and the right perspective in the first place, we will have the right focus; we will not be weighed down by our circumstances.
Secondly, when I get stuck under my circumstances, I tend to stay under them. I let myself dwell on the difficult and frustrating times. And usually, these trying times come from an ungrateful heart towards God. ... Bummer.

If we will hang on to the promises of God, though, we will not fall into the funks of life so often. Check these out ...
~ Psalm 142:1-3
"I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out my complaint before Him; before Him, I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint with in me, it is You who know my way."
~ John 16:33
"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in Me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."
~ Romans 12:21
"Don't let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good."
~ 1 John 5:4
"For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith."

Wow. What goodness and grace from God.
Oh, to learn this lesson! If we would strive to get out of our funks instead of wallowing in them ... if we would be thankful and not needy ... if we would get out from under our circumstances ... if we would keep our perspective in the right place ... we would so honor God.
Help us, Lord Jesus ... to let go of ourselves and live for You! :)

30-day Jesus Day 3: I am of Great Value to God

So much for 30 days of devos ... wow. I've missed, what? 3 days? Ha!

Last night was a rough night.
I found out that the payroll company didn't withhold enough taxes last year, so I owe the government $700. Yeah ... lame.
Well, that's a bummer but not the end of the world.
But it still put me in a funk ... a big one.
"Stupid money" turned into "I don't have $700, nor will I have $700 by Tax Day" ... which turned into "I don't make enough money" ... which turned into "Well, if I'd only passed the Praxis, I'd be a teacher, and I'd be making some money, saving it back, and able to pay this stupid $700 without a problem." And then this one took a turn for the really bad. "I failed the Praxis so many times." "I failed." ...... "I'm a failure." "I am a screw up." "I. Am. Worthless."

Yeah. Big one. I told you.
Oh my gosh. I don't know how the mind does this ... takes something so silly waaayyyy too far!
Oh, man. It was awful. I cried for more than an hour, wallowing in my "worthlessness." ... I was feeling it bad. For a while, I really believed that I was worthless. And in feeling worthless, I felt ashamed for feeling worthless, which made me feel even worse.

I kept thinking over and over again ... what is the deal? Why do I feel this way? Man, this is bad. But I discovered something about myself ... something I don't like. The core of any of my "depths of despair" days is believing lies from Satan. I know it is a lie, but far too often, I fall for it. On a fairly regular basis, I believe that I am worthless. I think that is the root of my insecurities ... I believe that I am a screw up, a failure, a worthless person.

Can you believe that? I'm having trouble believing it ... 'cause I'm a child of God. I AM VALUABLE TO HIM!!! And of GREAT value, at that! So how can I believe that I am worthless ... that I'm not enough? .... Somehow, I have based my value on my own performance. And I guess that doesn't seem too far-fetched ... perhaps a lot of people do it ... but me? How could it be me? I'm supposed to have it together? ... Ha! See!!!! Oh my gosh!

Ya see ... I have tricked myself into thinking that I SHOULD be perfect ... that I CAN be! What??? .... Only Jesus is perfect. So what is my problem? My problem is I'm listening to the Devil's lies ... I'm believing them. I'm believing them. And believing the lies has been holding me in a state of fear. Fear of messing up ... fear of disappointing someone ... fear of not reaching my own standards. It's totally ridiculous.

... So after my crazy pity party, I finally grabbed my devotional book and my Bible. And guess what my next chapter was about? Living in the Miracle of WHO I AM!!!" ... And here is the prayer that came out of it ....

"Lord, here I am wallowing in my despair, feeling more worthless than perhaps I've ever felt ... feeling like a failure ... why me? And you bring this devotion to me. You remind me that you made me on purpose, that you have a plan for me, that you are God. How easily I lose your perspective! Oh, Jesus, I need your help. Please keep me from feeling worthless. Remind me that you CHOSE me, you've CALLED me, and you LOVE me. Please continue showing me what to do. Give me clear direction, and give me a peace that passes all understanding. Keep me, Lord. Sustain me. I need you. And please, God, be glorified in my life."

So it's gonna be a process ... coming out of fear and despair and feelings of failure often take a while. But I'm gonna work at not believing Satan's lies and work at seeing myself the way God sees me. ... Hey, there's that eternal perspective again! Man, it is a difficult thing to learn and around every corner!

I am of great value to God.