Samwise and Us

The Lord of the Rings has been one of my favorite movies since it came out a few years ago. I went out and bought the extended edition trilogy as soon as it came out in stores. The story of Frodo and the Fellowship is pretty great, but what I loved most about the story was one little character - Samwise Gamgee. I fell in love with him after seeing the movies once. (I'm sure I would be even more in love with him if I read the books, but y'all know me ... I don't read. So we'll just stick with his movie character self, which is pretty daggone heroic and honorable and loyal and all of those good qualities.)

I love Samwise because he is all of those things I just mentioned and so much more. He is, in many ways, my hero! No joke! It's goofy ... but if you think about who Sam really is, he is an amazing example for us to follow, and we can connect his life and his loyalty to Frodo to us and our loyalty to Christ.

Stay with me ... this is good.

Sam CHOSE to follow after Frodo in his mission of the ring.

Sam not only followed Frodo but PROTECTED him and STAYED TRUE to him.

In other words, he was LOYAL beyond imagining.

Sam laid his life on the line for Frodo every single day of the journey.

It did not matter what he might endure, Sam was not about to let anything bad happen to Frodo.

He was not about to let Gollum turn Frodo from the path of Mount Doom if he could help it!

Sam gave up his food and drink so that Frodo could go on.

Sam fought, defeated, and almost died protecting Frodo from Shelob.

Sam carried Frodo up the side of Mount Doom.

Sam is truly amazing.

No matter what the cost, he carried on (and carried Frodo!), honoring Frodo, and really, the rest of the Fellowship and all of Middle Earth, by remaining loyal, steadfast, courageous, and selfless even when it cost him everything. Wow ... I love Samwise!

Sam could be seen as Jesus in our lives .... he gave up everything so that we could live.

But I want to look at Sam as being us ... or rather ... how we SHOULD be.

Sam is our example in this case.

He served and loved and remained loyal to his master (Frodo) no matter what the cost.

Are we doing that for our Master and Lord, Jesus Christ?

I want to!

I want to be loyal to Christ no matter what!!!

To be loyal means to be faithful.

And as I've thought more and more about this character,Samwise Gamgee, I've thought more and more about what it would take to be like him. And I've come up with three important things.

#1 - Prayer.

I cannot be loyal to Christ on my own. I am fallen and lazy and selfish. I do not want to work at this thing called a relationship with Jesus in and of myself. So I must ask ... I must CRY OUT to Jesus to help me say "NO!" to my fleshly desires and instead, live a life that honors my Master.

Psalm 86:11 says, "Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in Your truth; give me an undivided heart that I may fear Your name." ... That's what it takes. If I want to be completely loyal to my Master, I must ask Him for His help.

#2 - Obedience.

My two favorite scenes in the entire LOTR trilogy show Sam living in obedience, sacrifice, and loyalty to his master, Frodo - when Sam fights and defeats Shelob in her lair and when he carries Frodo up the side of Mount Doom. In Shelob's lair, we see Sam crying over Frodo's (presumed to be) dead body. "Don't go where I can't follow," Sam says to Frodo, as he cries for the loss of his friend and master. At the foot of Mount Doom, Sam shouts, "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you," as he picks Frodo up and carries him, with tears in his eyes. .... That's what we need to do. Just as Sam was obeying his promise to stick with Frodo every step of the way, no matter what, we also need to obey Christ in every area of our lives ... even to the point of tears. Joshua 22:5 says, "But be very careful to keep the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the Lord gave you: to love the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways, to obey His commands, to hold fast to Him and to serve Him with all your heart and all your soul." We must hold fast to Jesus, remain faithful to Him, obey Him, and serve Him ... love Him with all that we've got! That, is when we walk in true obedience.

#3 - Sacrifice.

Sacrifice is probably the most important thing to keep in mind when striving to remain loyal to Christ. Keeping Christ at the center of our lives does not come easily. As depraved beings, we desire selfish, sinful things. We don't want to work. We don't want to be pure and lovely and excellent and praiseworthy. We don't want to honor Christ .... not in and of ourselves, we don't. So loyalty requires sacrifice. Matthew 16:24-25 says, "Then Jesus said to His disciples, 'If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for Me will find it." Jesus told us ... warned us that living for Him is not easy ... far from it. He told us ... "Hey, look here ... if you really want to follow Me as my closest friends and companions, you must deny yourselves. You must get rid of yourselves! You must forget your desires and take on Mine!" That's a hefty order, eh? .... God wants us. He wants ALL of us. And that's what loyalty is ... giving God EVERY piece of yourself. Did you get that, Mical? Being loyal to Christ is giving Him, entrusting Him with, and honoring Him with EVERY piece of your life.

Sam gave up EVERYTHING to follow Frodo, to serve him, protect him, love him ... honor him. And we must do the same.

GoG 26: The "Single Days" Chat With Jeremy

Jeremy, Nathanael, Marianne, and I met at Wendy's today for a frosty and some youth pastor talk. The four of us meet every Tuesday for a couple of hours just to catch up, praying for one another, share burdens, joys, time with our youth, etc. After Nathanael left and Marianne was getting some dinner to go, I was headed out the door, when Jeremy looks at me and says ... "So ...." I shut the door and come back in. And he says again ... "So ..... how's it goin'?" This by itself was a blessing. In the bigger group, it's hard to really know how someone is doing ... so he was taking the time to really find out. Gosh. That's awesome.

I said, "It's goin' alright." He said, "Yeah?" And he said, "I've been prayin' for ya." And we started talking about something I was a tad bit taken off guard with ... only 'cause it's Jeremy, and we don't usually talk about my "single days." It started with talk about SoZo, since that's our commonality. But I made a comment like, "It would be even better if I could find some youth pastor guy around here who could work with me in youth ministry ... even if it was part-time, that's fine with me." And for there, we talked about me getting plugged in to a singles/young adult group somewhere, etc. We also talked about how I'm lonely 'cause most of my friends are married or getting married and having babies, and they're leaving me in one way or another. It wasn't a conversation I was expecting, but it was really encouraging. Just that Jeremy took the time to dig a little deeper than the surface ... and then tell me that he's been praying for me about this area of my life. That's simply and amazingly amazing. And just one of the many glimpses of God's grace today. :)

GoG 25: The Stranded Malibu

7:08pm. I left Hannah's parent's house.

7:22pm. I took a curve too fast and drove off the road, getting stuck in a muddy, snowy cornfield in what I thought was Brownsburg, Indiana.

7:24pm. I called my dad to say ... "So I kind of drove into a cornfield, and I'm stuck."

7:26-and-a-half pm. I called Hannah to make sure I had my coordinates right.

7:29pm. I called AAA and told them my "right" coordinates.

8:15pm. My dad calls to tell me that he has taken 425 N. all the way, and I was not there.

8:32pm. The 9th stranger who stopped to offer his help arrives right as my dad calls for the 6th time.

8:34pm. That same 9th stranger talks to my dad, telling him that my initial coordinate were all wrong ... and in fact, I am in Pittsboro, Indiana ... near 450 N. and 250 E.

8:38pm. I get back in my car as that 9th stranger offers to wait in his truck until my dad gets there.

8:52pm. My dad finally arrives, shakes the 9th stranger's hand, and I climb into the car with my dad.

9:49pm. The AAA guy arrives with his big truck and chain.

10:04pm. We leave that spot way out in the middle of non-Brownsburg, Indiana (and nowhere) and head home at a crazy-slow 15 miles per hour.

10:29pm. Dad and I pull in to our driveway ... home safe and sound.

Hahahaha! Believe it or not, that excursion in the cornfield was my glimpse of grace for the day. Not hard to believe, it was very humbling. .... I've never run off the road before. I've never gotten stuck. Never had to call AAA. And only had to call my dad for help once ... mmaaayybee twice ... in all of my (almost) 6 years of driving. And I had to sit there for an awfully long time ... feeling like a total idiot.

So the glimpse of grace was #1 - Being humbled.

#2 - About 14 people passed by, and about 11 of those people stopped and asked me if they could help me. That's awesome! That was a huge blessing by itself.

#3 - My dad wasn't super mad at me ... he was a bit frustrated when he was trying to find me ... but when he got there, and we sat in the car together, he just laughed.

#4 - The AAA guy was really nice about it all and very helpful.

#5 - I even got a little worship in while I was waiting.

It was an excursion alright. A bit frustrating at a few different points ... but humbling and a blessing in a few ways. Ha! It funny how God works, eh? ;)

GoG 24: The Confidence and the Glory

"You guide me with Your counsel, and afterward, You will take me into glory."

Psalm 73:24

This verse has meant a lot to me in the past ... just one of those verses that God threw at me right when I needed it. And I stumbled across it again recently. .... Actually, I was reading something else in my Bible, and whatever I was reading made me think of this verse. But at the time, I couldn't remember where it was found. Let's see .... what was I reading that made me think of this verse. Let me go get my Bible. Un momento, por favor ....

Ah, yes. I think it was Psalm 71:5. I've been reading through several different books in the Bible lately. Psalm is kind of my quicker read ... the "study" I do on nights that I don't make the time to read more fully. So ... I AM admitting to my laziness here. I'm working on it. ;) .... Anyway ... a few nights ago, I was reading through Psalm 71, and I came across verse 5 and thought, "yeah! I need that tonight. Thanks, God!" Psalm 71:5 says, "For You are my hope; O Lord God, You are my confidence from my youth." ... That night, I was really struggling with the whole singleness scene ... mostly 'cause almost all of my friends are getting married and having babies. I'm one of the last ones. They're all leavin' me in one way or another. I was just really bummed the other night, and I read this chapter ... and boy, it was great! The whole chapter is full of encouragement. .... I've been reading through Psalms and picking out the names/descriptions of God. In this one chapter I found these ... Refuge, Upright, Deliverer, Rescuer, Savior, Rock, Fortress, Hope, Confidence, Sustainer, Help, Strong, The One Who Makes Me Great, Comforter, Truth, The Holy One Of Israel, and Redeemer. That's a lot! So this chapter helped me readjust my perspective. ... I was basically having a pity party ... bummin' out that my friends are leaving me ... wanting a season that is not what God wants for me right now, etc., etc. And God, through Psalm 71, was reminding me that HE ALONE is all that I need ... HE ALONE is the refuge, Savior, Hope, and Confidence of my life. HE ALONE is the One who makes me great! That is some good stuff, yo!

Alright ... so how the heck did I start with Psalm 73:24 and then go on about Psalm 71:5 for so long?? Well, it's me we're talking about ... The Tangent Queen. He he he. :D ..... For me, Psalm 71:5 reminded me of Psalm 73:24. I couldn't find 73:24 the other night, but I read it tonight in my devos and got all excited that I found the verse I was thinking of the other night. I think these two verses connect for me because they both ... well ... it's kind of hard to put my correlation into words .... hmm ............

71:5 talks about God being my confidence.

73:24 talks about God guiding me.

71:5 talks about God being my confidence.

73:24 talks about God taking me into glory.

God is my confidence because He is my guide.

God is my confidence because He is my glory.

Therefore, I have no need to dwell on the things of this world ... the season of life that I am in ... the friendships that are changing ... the instability of this life ...

I have no need of them because God is my confidence. God is the One who is forever.

Confidence and glory are nearly the same in my mind because when they are set in the right place in my life (on Jesus Christ), they do not fail ... ever! When I put my confidence (abilities, strengths, hopes, dreams, etc.) in God, I am not shaken. I do not fail. I continue on, looking to Christ instead of my circumstances. When I invest my life into glory (God's purpose for my life - glorifying Him!), I am not shaken. I do not fail. I continue on, looking to Christ instead of my circumstances. ....

Perhaps it can also be said this way ... My confidence is found in the glory of God. I have confidence when I spend my time and life, heart and mind, honoring Christ with my life. .... Yep, that be the correlation between the two verses. When I focus all of my energies on bringing glory to Christ, my confidence is nurtured, awakened, alive!

What I've Learned About Forgiveness

A wise woman once told me that I should write down the lessons God teaches me either while I'm going through them or shortly after them so that I will not forget them. She said that no matter how impactful the lessons, she almost always manages to forget them eventually. And don't we all? ... So I am taking her advice.

I shared these thoughts with the Danville High School FCA on Friday morning, and I was looking over them tonight during my devotions and decided to write 'em down .... so that I won't forget 'em. :) We'll call these thoughts ('cause titles are just fun!) "What I've Learned About Forgiveness." Or rather ... What I've Learned (and continue to learn) about Forgiveness ... 'cause forgiveness, like every other lesson, is a life-long process. ;)

Over the past year or so, I've learned a thing or three about forgiveness.

#1 - Forgiveness is a process.

When I need to forgive someone, it's because I've been hurt. That is NOT profound. But it is true. I've been hurt, and pain often brings selfishness. I must fight. FIGHT! I must fight hard to run from my selfish ambitions when I've been hurt. My selfish self wants to scream and yell ... wants to cry ... wants to wallow in self-pity ... wants to tell that person off ... wants to gossip ... want to ... get the picture? ... Forgiveness does not happen over night. That pain is gonna take a while to heal. It may take time to forgive too. But we must! Time is not an excuse for unforgiveness. I must cry out to God every single day until that person is totally and completely forgiveness.

Note: Forgiveness also works the other way. If I hurt someone else, it might take a long time for me to let go of that. I HATE hurting others. It happens though. And I am still learning NOT to beat myself up but ACCEPT forgiveness when it is given.

#2 - I can't change people's actions, but I can control my own.

I always want to fix problems, wrongs I've committed, etc. I can always try. And I'm supposed to try. When I wrong someone, I must go to them, humble myself, and ask for forgiveness. I can continue being their friend no matter what happens. But whether or not they accept my apology, accept my friendship, accept anything and everything (or nothing) I give, I can't change them. All I can do is keep loving them, keep seeking and crying out to Jesus in the situation, and keep keep on keepin' on. Giving up is not an option. I can't change people, but I can control my own actions, attitudes, and words with the power the Holy Spirit gives me through Jesus Christ my Lord.

#3 - I reap what I sow.

I've been learning a lot about reaping and sowing lately. My pastor and my surrender sister, Alex, both talked to me about reaping and sowing within a month of each other ... as well as ... God continued pressing it upon my heart ... all of this within a timespan of a month or two .... (It's like God is in control or something! Ha ha!). I reap what I sow. I don't plant one season and get the harvest the very next season. I plant ... then I cultivate ... then I keep cultivating, nurturing, waiting ... and finally, a few seasons later, I reap my harvest. If I sow bitterness and anger and jealousy and well, sin upon sin ... I will reap sin upon sin upon sin upon .... I think you get my point. I must, like I said in #2, seek Jesus and cry out to Him in the midst of the process of unforgiveness. I must sow good things ... love, grace, hope, and forgiveness (one day at a time) ... and then ... only then! ... will I reap a good harvest.

Forgiveness is a process. Don't beat yourself up about the process if it is long. Just keep striving for forgiveness. Keep surrendering the issues (or issues - plural!) every single day. Keep seeking Jesus and crying out to Him for help and strength. Keep using self-control and sowing good things. And allow God to teach you mighty things about His power and purpose.

Some verses that have helped me over the past year or two have been Psalm 73:26, Philippians 1:6, and Colossians 3:2 ....

Psalm 73:26 - My flesh and my heart may fail, but GOD is the STRENGTH of my heart and my PORTION forever.

Philippians 1:6 - Being confident of this, that HE who began a GOOD work in you will carry it on to COMPLETION until the day of CHRIST JESUS.

Colossians 3:2 - Set your mind on things ABOVE, NOT on earthly things.

GoG 23: The Hodgins' Situation

So I don't watch a lot of TV. I try not to 'cause there really are better ways to use my time. But there are a couple of shows I enjoy. I used to watch Family Matters and The Cosby Show a lot growing up. These days, I've been watching Chuck and Bones. Chuck is the only one I've been sort of keeping up with. I've gotta find out if Chuck and Sarah ever really get together! ;) .... Tonight, my mom was out shopping for food for The Porch (Stop by sometime! The brownies are amazing!!!!! And the other food too.), my dad was watching college basketball, and my brother is at USI. So I decided to take some rest time ... just chill for the evening. I got on "hulu" and watched some episodes of Bones.

One episode had a situation that I identified with a lot ... and I'm gonna call it my glimpse of grace for today. :) There are two characters in the show named "Hodgins" and "Angela." They are scientist-type people who work in the lab on the show. Well, (last season, I'm guessing) they were "together." Then they broke up. This season, Angela is with another guy, and Hodgins is having a hard time with it. He thought he had moved on and was fine, but when Angela and the new guy started dating, he realized he was really struggling.

Thankfully, I'm not going through that NOW. But I was a few months ago. I know what it's like to "break up" and miss that person. While that person was single, it wasn't toooo bad. But when he finally got a girlfriend, "it was like someone stabbed me with a knife." Hodgins said that ... and I remember saying something similar last year. ...... But what I liked most about this part of the episode was that Hodgins went to his psychologist friend and told him that he wanted to be happy for Angela and the new guy ... that he didn't want to be mad or jealous. They continued to talk, and the psychologist friend said, "I don't think you're jealous. You're grieving over what you lost." And I immediately said, "yes!" ..... I don't think I was ever jealous of my friend's new girlfriend. I was happy for them. But I still had a stinging feeling every time I thought of him or "them" being together. I truly was sad, grieving, even ... over the loss of the relationship ... and even the friendship.

This may sound like an over-dramatic depiction of my past, but it's what happened. I'm so thankful that I still love and respect that friend more than he knows, and I think his girlfriend is an amazing girl .... 'cause even though I'm healed over that situation and so happy for the friend (and new friend), it was rough for quite a while. And it WAS grief. I lost something ... someone. Thankfully, it's pretty much better. I'm actually excited about things again ... and really starting to grab hold of the lessons that God taught me through the situation ... seeing that God is "finishing the good work He started" and "working it all out for my good" ... just like He promised. So Hodgins' situation was just another reminder of the lessons and the grace that God gave me and continues to give me in the process every single day.

GoG 22: The Awesome Spring Semester

I like to talk to myself ... all the time. And I talk out loud with myself. I have full-out conversations with myself. It's very productive. ;) ..... Yesterday, I was driving home from working in the writing center, chatting with myself about the day's efforts. We haven't had many people come in for tutoring 'cause it's the first couple of weeks of the semester. I've had one tutee per day this week. But we find ways to stay busy in the writing center. .... On my way home, I was thinking about the writing center and how good it has been for me over the past (almost) three years ... and how much I've enjoyed working there. I also started thinking about how this semester has been and will continue to be great because I'm doing the things I love! :)

This Spring I get to spend my time working at Calvary prepping for time with my SoZo kids ... planning activities, lesson plans, events outside of youth group, praying for them, etc. I get to work with people and their writing every Thursday and Friday ... chatting with them, serving them, and hopefully, making their day better. I get to hang out with my Eastside kids every Wednesday and Thursday afternoon ... loving on them, helping them with their homework, running around and playing games with them. I also have more time for nurturing friendships, exercising, and spending time with God (something I need to do more of!). Life is just plain good. :) And it reminded me of God's grace because He allows me to not only enjoy but have time to work in my callings and get paid for it!!!! There is no greater blessing!

GoG 21: The Mr. Cory

Behind again. I have a feeling this is gonna happen all 365 days ... ha ha!

Thursday's glimpse of grace came in the form of one sentence.

"It's always good to see you."

An amazing guy named "Mr.Cory," as we kidos and helpers call him, visited us at after school on Thursday. He leads the Bible study for the kids on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, so I see him every Wednesday but not usually on Thursdays. It's always a great surprise when he pops in on Thursdays from time to time.

Cory is probably one of the coolest and greatest men I know. I've said before (mostly to myself) that if he were 10 or 15 years younger and single, I'd marry him in a heartbeat! He's just awesome! He works in kids' ministry and has a great passion for it. Loves the Lord with all he's got and really "gets it" about Jesus ... he's not just a fire insurance kind of Christian - he is a mighty follower of Jesus Christ. He is a big kid in a lot of ways too, so he works well with the kids. He's got a loud personality that just screams Jesus and fun! He's just great. ... I've been working with him through the after school program for almost a year and a half, and he's just one of those people that brings joy to your heart when you see him.

On Thursday afternoon, he was sitting at the table eating dinner with the kids, and I was standing across the table. He looked at me and said, "Miss Mical, how are you doing?" And then he smiled at me and said, "It's always good to see you." And I could tell that he really meant it. ... And I told him the same 'cause I love it when he comes to after school - he lifts my spirit just by being in the building! His passion for the Lord and fun-loving personality are amazing! I wish I could work alongside him more often. I hold him in such high esteem. And for him to say, "It's always good to see you" was a great encouragement ... and it really gave me a glimpse of God's grace in my life.

I usually only see Mr. Cory once a week ... and it's usually only for about a half an hour. He comes just in time for the Bible study and leaves shortly thereafter. He's a busy kids' minister at College Park Church in Indianapolis. And he serves so often and across broad projects on the Eastside. We've had a number of conversations about inner city ministry, what I wanna do with my life ... and a couple of "Mical, I can see you here on the Eastside" and "Mical, I've seen real character in you" kinds of conversations. It has been a tremendous blessing getting to know him and working with him in ministry. He truly is an inspiration and an amazing man of God. Ha! Can you tell I think this guy is cool? :D ....

God allows these kinds of people in my life everywhere I go. I get to work with my pastor in ministry. I've worked with my youth pastors, Michael and Shelley. Mr. Doug and Mr. Derrick from after school. James Nilsen. Tim and Keri McRoberts. And Mr. Cory. All of these people have been a huge blessing in my ministry life. God loves me enough to allow me to work alongside amazing men and women of God in His heart's desire - people. And not only that ... but these people love and appreciate me in the process. They encourage me and provide opportunities for ministry. It's an amazing blessing to work with such people ... and it's just another sign of God's grace in action in my life each day.

GoG 20: The "Week-Long Drive"

I was headed to after school today after working at the church for a couple of hours, and I really didn't feel like going. Yes, believe it or not, I didn't want to be at after school today. The reason? The drive is so long. On Wednesdays, I drive nearly an hour to the Eastside for the after school program. And although I adore my kids, that drive is rough. I've been driving it for almost a year and a half ... and I've been driving the long haul to IUPUI's campus (only about 10 minutes shorter the distance) for nearly 4 years. The same road, the same buildings, the same speed limits. It's just redundant. I was losing my mind on my way there today. But anyway ... today I just really didn't feel like makin' the drive. I have also been feeling like I'm not really needed at after school 'cause my location only has 6 to 8 kids and 4 adults every Wednesday and Thursday. 2 kids per adult is a lot.

I don't help out at after school to feel needed ... and I reminded myself of that today. I go because I am in love with these inner city kids. I am blessed EVERY single day I go. I go to serve. And I love it! Just some days ... when that drive feels like a week. A week there and a week back ... I just let my ... well, I guess you could call 'em selfish ambitions ... get in the way.

God, in all of His mighty grace though .... ha! He did it again ... poured it on me again today. :) .... I got to Shepherd Community Center where I pick up food to deliver to the after school locations. Last semester, I delivered food to three locations including my own. This semester, we agreed that I would only deliver to my location for scheduling reasons. .... Well, today, Shepherd had me deliver to Brookside Church, one of the other locations. When I got there and walked through the door with the food, the first thing Mr. Scott said to me was "Hey, do you wanna help us here today?" I kept walkin' and yelled back "Do you need help today?" ... After I finished dropping off the food, I stopped and asked again "Do y'all really need my help here today?" And I agreed to talk to Mr. Doug, the really cool guy who runs my location ... and so ... after we got our kids settled (we had several more than 6 or 8 today ... and more adult helpers too ... whatta ya know?), I took off for Brookside and helped them out with their many kids this afternoon.

Ha! Ya see? ..... I started laughing when I got into my car after dropping off the food at Brookside because I didn't know what else to do. I immediately knew that Mr. Scott asking me to help them at Brookside was my glimpse of grace for the day. .... There I was, on my way to after school, driving that "week-long drive" to the Eastside, thinking that I was burned out and "not needed anyway." But I get to the Eastside, and not only have we doubled our numbers at my after school location, but I am needed at another location. It was awesome! .... I don't deserve to be needed, but God, in all His grace, decided to allow me the privilege of delivering to a location I wasn't originally supposed to deliver to and help at a location I don't ever help at. I was needed after all. And that, is God's grace in action! :)

GoG 19: The A, O, and W

I've been thinking a lot about servanthood over the past couple of days. Early this month, I asked my SoZo kids to write down some goals for themselves this year. The following week we talked about goals for ourselves as a group. Most of the kids said that they want to do service projects this year. I was excited to hear this from them, so this past Sunday night we started looking at servanthood. We're in the process of picking out a life verse for SoZo this year, writing out a service goal statement, and brainstorming ideas about serving in our youth group, our church, our families, and our community ... as well as the wider community - we're going to Nashville, TN the last week of June to help out with a kids' summer program. The kids and I are really excited about it. And I'm really excited about setting new goals for serving others this 2010.

Today was one of my first big days "in the office." Yep, I have an office now, which is weird. Tuesdays and Wednesdays are my "SoZo days," as I like to call 'em. I'll be at the church for a certain number of hours every T and W working on lessons and planning activities, ect., ect. Well, in beginning more hours at the church, my mind was all about SoZo today. I went to Heather's swim meet tonight (Heather is one of my fabulous SoZo girls), and on my way home from her meet in Lebanon, I talked out (yes, out loud) some ideas I have for SoZo this year. And that discussion (with myself - ha!) concerning SoZo turned into a discussion about me and my own life.

I've been praying a specific prayer for several years now .... "Lord, wherever you want me to go, whatever you want me to do, I will go ... I will do it. I will ... without hesitation." .... And that prayer is still my heart's desire. And I got to thinking about that prayer today as I thought about servanthood. .... I don't know where God is leading me. I'm pretty confident He'll put me with a group of kids or a group of youth (or perhaps both) ... but that's about as much as He's given me so far. ;) ..... And these thoughts about my future - the whole going wherever God wants me to go and doing whatever God wants me to do stuff - also got me thinking about my "waiting" post that I posted yesterday. In being ready to go and to do without hesitation, I also want to be serving God while I wait on that "wherever" and "whatever" He has in store for me.

On my way home from that swim meet, I said ... "Lord, I want to serve you now. I want to honor you with my life now. Lord, I want to be available. .... Ha!" Yep, that's it. I laughed out loud after that because being available, being observant, being willing is exactly what we talked about at church a couple weeks ago. Pastor Roger encouraged us ... challenged us ... to be available to God NOW! While we're waiting.

God loves us enough to give us grace in the waiting seasons. His grace is Him giving us purpose even while we wait. He wants us to be Available, to be Observant and Willing ... not moping in a corner hoping for something better. He wants us to act! He wants us to live in purpose and joy while we wait for that good work in us to be completed. And that's what I (further) realized today. "Lord, make me available for you to use ... and mightily!"

GoG 18: The Grad Card

One of my earlier GoG's was about my graduation open house that I had on January 9th. Today's GoG is about a special card I got from my grad party.

My friend, Keri, is probably one of my favorite people in the whole world. She is a ton of fun, a striving mother, friend, and woman of God, and a fellow strawberry-blond. :) I've always thought that if she weren't in a separate season (ha! didn't I just talk about seasons?) of life, we would be best friends. She's an awesome woman from my church, about 9 years older than me, married, with four kids. I love her to death!!!! Every time I see her, I think, "gosh, I wish we could hang out more, talk more, be best friends, ect." No joke. Just about every time I see her I think that! She is just awesome.

Anyway ... now that you know a little about Keri ... you should know that she's the one who wrote this card. It was my favorite card of the day.

On the front of the card was a picture of a door in the side of a grassy hill. It was an open door.

And here's what she wrote in the card ....

"Mical -

This is the last card my sister-in-law made for me - she took the picture. :) Anyway, consider it an open door - a beginning of a new chapter in your life! Congratulations on your graduation. I'm proud of you for sticking it out and seeking God with tears on His direction for your life. He loves you so much - be encouraged - He knows the plans He has for you. And in the "bases sense" you've been doing His will all along: to know Him better, love Him more, share that love with others - lifting Him up. You are a wonderful girl and we are so blessed to know you - we are better people because of you.

Congrats again and may God bless you as He uses you.

Love you,

Tim, Keri, Lucy, Caleb, Will, and Sam"

This short letter was a great encouragement to me because ...

#1 - It was from Keri McRoberts, and I adore her!

#2 - It was personal ... handwritten, from the heart (those who know me well, know that I'm not a big fan of store-bought cards ... I wanna hear YOU!) :)

#3 - It was full of words of love and encouragement. Keri telling me that I have been living up to my goals of knowing Christ better and loving Him more is the greatest encouragement anyone could ever give me. Those ARE my greatest goals. And even though I do fail from time to time and I often feel like I fail in them all the time, I'm not. She is pointing out my victory in this area of my life. Yes, it's a process. It's a victory I must strive to achieve everyday. It's not a one-time thing ... knowing Jesus better and loving Him more is a life-long goal. But I'm on my way. And I am so thankful that Keri has not only been observing my life but pointing out the good that is coming out of it. Praise the Lord for being at work in me ... and for giving me cherished friends who will push me and encourage me along the way. And it's all by His grace. :)

GoG 17: The Wait

Yesterday's GoG came in the form of a song. I think I've shared it on my blog before ... a long time ago ... but it's really good. Here it is again ...........

While I'm Waiting

By: John Waller

I'm waiting ... I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful

I'm waiting on you, Lord, though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting

I will serve you while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting

I will not fade

I'll be runnin' the race, even while I wait

I'm waiting ... I'm waiting on You, Lord, and I am peaceful

I'm waiting on You, Lord, though it's not easy

But faithfully, I will wait

I was listening to this song on my way home from church on Sunday afternoon ... just feeling down because most of my friends are getting married and having babies and well ... they're leaving me. Even if they aren't moving away (which some of them are!), they are still leaving me because they are in a different season of life ... a season I can't really be apart of. I was really sad. I was on the verge of tears before I even left the church. And when I got in the car, this song popped in my mind, so I put it on. And it was my glimpse of grace because of what I just typed ... the lyrics. The lyrics of this song are so powerful. .... I'm in a season of waiting. I don't know where God is leading. All of my plans have been changed. I am not where I thought I'd be at this stage in my life. I'm not in a bad place ... not at all ... I'm where God wants me. But I'm waiting on Him for direction in so many ways. I'm waiting for Him to give me a husband ... I'm waiting for the results of my test ... for direction after I have those results ... ministries ... I'm waiting.

But I love this song because it reminds me that no matter what season I'm in ... whether waiting, exciting, hurting, changing, ect. .... I MUST serve Him, worship Him, seek Him, honor Him while I wait. And that's what I want to do! I want to serve Jesus Christ while I wait on Him for direction ... for His plan and purpose for my life. And that's what God was reminding me of yesterday afternoon. "Mical, so much is changing for you, but I do not change. Serve Me while you wait. I love you, dear child." And so I will serve my Lord .... while I wait.