GoG 54: The Many Little Things

I think my glimpse of grace came in lots of little things today ......

~ Hugs from Andrea

~ A high five from Mathanael

~ "Making" Miss Emily's day at after school

~ Smiles from little Joseph

~ Thinking about how SYMC (Simply Youth Ministry Conference) is tomorrow!!!!

~ Hearing Mr. Doug and Mr. James (another non-Nilsen) :) say "man" about 50 times in the 5 minutes I was listening in on their conversation ... "Ah, man ... it was the Lord workin' man ... I mean, man, it had nothin' to do with me, man ... it was just the Spirit of the Lord workin', man. Ah, man ... God is faithful, man." (That was not the exact conversation, but oh, it was close!) Haha!

~ Simply thinking about how God has opened doors for ministry over the past couple of years

~ Phone call from Ben :)

All of these things were grace. Oh, I love my life! :)

GoG 53: The Monks

I'm reading a book called Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. I'm only two chapters in ... and it is already amazing. I'm not a reader. I should be ... but I'm not. So you know this book's gotta be good! ;) Really, if you struggle with contentment, find this book! Read it fast! Heck, you can borrow it from me when I'm done, if you want. :)

Well, my glimpse of grace for today came from reading a little blurb from this book for a second time. I read the blurb when I read the chapter ... but the devotional for this week (at the end of the book) suggested I read it again. ... It was good the first time ... but the second time hit me upside the head. Ha! Wow. I'm still saying wow. ... Let me type it out for you here .......

Linda Dillow said ... "The following story of two monks helped me to put my control versus God's control into perspective."

"I need oil," said an ancient monk, so he planted an olive sapling. "Lord," he prayed, "it needs rain that its tender roots may drink and swell. Send gentle showers." And the Lord sent gentle showers. "Lord," prayed the monk, "my tree needs sun. Send sun, I pray thee." And the sun shone, gilding the dripping clouds. "Now frost, my Lord, to brace its tissues," cried the monk. And behold, the little tree stood sparkling with frost, but at evening it died.

Then the monk sought the cell of a brother monk, and told his strange experience. "I, too, planted a little tree," he said, "and see! It thrives well. But I entrust my tree to its God. He who made it knows better what it needs than a man like me. I laid no condition. I fixed not ways or means. 'Lord, send what it needs,' I prayed, 'storm or sunshine, wind, rain, or frost. Thou hast made it and Thou dost know.'"

You might want to read that story again. ;)

Here are the thoughts I wrote down in my journal after reading this little story a second time ........

The Monks:

Lord, it just hit me. Wow. I have been monk #1 all of these weeks and months. I've been crying out to you, saying, "I need a guy to help me with youth group. Lord, don't you think SoZo would be better if a really cool guy would come and help (or even take over)?" ... Ha! Although You haven't sent a guy like you sent all the sun and rain and frost for the monk, I now see that monk #1 and I have a similar mindset. We are not allowing You to be the Blessed Controller of our circumstances. Wow, Lord. .... Oh, Lord, make me more like monk #2, who surrendered his circumstances to You and trust that You were in complete control of all that his little tree needed. More and more, Lord, help me trust that You know what You're doing. Thank you, Lord, for Your faithfulness and patience. Be glorified in me.

Isn't it cool how God shows us just what we need when we need it? He loves us enough to teach us and humble us and ever remind us that we need Him. Ahh ... grace is about the coolest thing ever! :)

GoG 52: The Joy

So ... God's grace in my life today came in the form of joy.

J O Y !

I lounged around the house ... stocked the rest of my mom's shelves for her convention ... went shopping ... went to Gabe's karate practice ... worked out ... and I had joy. Joy for the entire day.

Yep ... and that's all. Joy because I am content. :)

GoG 51: The Facebook Message Reflection

So today's GoG comes from a Facebook message I wrote to Emily tonight. Why don'tcha just read a "little" (it's really a lot!) excerpt from that to get a glimpse. ;)

And all has been well this week. Andy started a sr. high Bible study this past Tuesday, and it went really well. Gosh, I'm proud of that kid! He makes SoZo worth it just by himself. But thankfully, I love ALL of my kids ... even though youth ministry is hard work! Whew! .... But I'm so excited. ... I didn't pass my Praxis exam ... so my post of "can everyone pray for Mical? ... seeking new direction" recently was related to that. But I think prayer, along with your "just live" comment, and God's grace have really helped me keep my perspective right. I started freaking out there for a few days. But I was talking to God a couple days ago, and I told Him about my worries .... and then asked, "Why am I worried though?" I'm confident in God's calling ... He wants me to work with kids and youth. And He wants me to work with my SoZo kids ... at least for the time being. And I don't need to get all caught up in "what now?" Perhaps He had His hand in the whole Praxis mess. Perhaps He wanted me to be here, now ... in Danville, IN ... at Calvary Chapel ... with my SoZo kids ... for such a time as this. I really believe that. Even with all of the drama ... the tough times, etc. I love it! And I am confident in Christ for this area of my life. .... So what if I work at the church part-time and waitress the other part ... or work at the church and work in the writing center the other part ... or whatever. If I'm called to SoZo, then I'm called to SoZo ... and I'm excited about that! :) ... Ha! You're probably wondering where all of that came from. Too funny. ... I guess these are just some realizations I've come to this week ... some ... well ... life-changing ones. ;) So that's the biggest part of my week. :)

Other than that ... I've just been helping out at after school ... and I went to a couple of small groups. One was in Indy ... some random group through College Park Church ... and another one was through Westlake. They were both good ... but I don't think I'm gonna go to them. I feel kind of bad going to a college-age group to "find a husband." Ha! 'Cause that was my mindset going in. ;) .... I might visit a few more ... I DO need to be with folks my own age. But ... I am also totally ready to just live. To just live for Jesus and let Him bring some guy in His time. Oh, I'll have my days ... my "come on, God ... where is he?" days. But I can feel real growth in this area of my life. I am slowly but surely learning to make Jesus my all ... and just live. No worries. No "when's my future husband coming?" No "what's gonna happen next?" ... etc. ... Now, don't get me wrong. I do and will continue to have my days ... don't we all? But it's encouraging to see and feel growth in this whole trust thing. :)

I've also started this book called ... ha! I've actually started two books. The Call by Os Guinness and Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. I've been all worked up about my "calling" ... where am I supposed to be, God? What are you doing? Etc. etc. So Jeremy Wright suggested The Call. I'm not too far into it, but I'm excited to read it. And the Grace Fellowship ladies are going on a retreat next month, and the theme is contentment. .... I can't go (sadly) ... so I got the book. I started it last night ... and I can already tell that it is going to continue to mold my perspective ... maybe change it completely ... and I'm praying it will change my whole life! Good stuff, yo. :) ... And lastly, I've been and I'm continuing to get into the Word more. Pastor challenged us this morning to get into the Word all the time ... to really get into it. And I'm excited to keep trying.

Oh! Another thing! You already know this ... but I am soooo excited about that youth pastor's conference I'm going on! I leave really early Friday morning, and I am sooo excited! I'm so excited that I don't know what to do with myself! :D I think it's really going to be good. I think it's really gonna give me a spiritual push, as well as lots of great ideas and motivation, that I need to continue on in SoZo. Friday morning through Monday afternoon. Gosh, I can't wait!

Ha! Gosh, this is turning into a long reply. Are we surprised? Umm ... no. ;) .... Anyways ... I guess I say all of this ... yes, because you asked how my week was going ... but also ...
God is at work in me. He is molding me ... shaping my heart into something much bigger than myself. He's bringing me out of a huge lazy, selfish, sinful state of being that I've been in for far too long ... it's been a time that I've been trying to hide from everyone because I've been ashamed of myself. .... But God is bringing me out of my "me, me, me" slump! And I'm so excited to be growing and seeking and growing and getting excited again. :) So I share all of this to ask for prayer as well as give you an update. :) ... Could you pray that God will change my life? I know that's a big prayer, but we have a big God. :) Pray that the books I'm reading ... that His Word! ... will change my life in the coming months. Pray that this youth pastor's conference will push me and help me to change. Pray that I will throw myself into SoZo completely. Pray that I will walk in His way ... grow ... love ... live fully. :)

Ahh ... it's so nice to write. Writing really allows a girl to reflect on what she's living and learning. And you can reflect not only on blogs or in journals ... but in e-mails to BBFs. :) Yay! God's grace is amazing! :)

Contentment, Trust ... Oh, the Lessons!

"How does God enable us to be content? He infuses contentment into us through His Word. As it seeps into our minds, it transforms us. Just as a cup of tea gets stronger when we give it time to steep, so we become more content when we spend time in God's Word and allow it to seep into our lives, transforming us to be like Him."

- Page 15 of Calm my Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow

So that's why I've been so discontent lately. ... I've been really struggling in my prayer and devotions life for several months. I've wanted to grow. I've wanted to draw close to the Lord. But I haven't wanted to do the work. Like any relationship that is worthwhile, walking with the Lord is hard work. Anything good (anything GREAT!) does not come easily. ... But this is my relationship with God I'm talking about? Isn't that supposed to be the greatest desire of my heart? Why haven't I wanted to put forth this "work" so that I can simply BE with Him? ... Well, it all comes down to my own selfishness getting in the way ... but that's not really where I was headed.

The ladies from Grace Fellowship Church, my beloved second church home, are headed to their annual ladies' retreat next month. I was privileged to join them last March and had an amazing time! Sadly, I can't go with them this year. But Cindy told me about the retreat and about the book that they are basing the discussions on ... Calm My Anxious Heart. When Cindy told me the book (and the retreat) was all about contentment, I knew I had to grab hold of this book. So I picked it up at the Christian bookstore a few days ago. And my "love for reading" (yeah right) kept me from starting it until tonight. It's really good so far ... hence, pulling the quote and talking about it here. :)

There's even a 12-week devotional in the back of the book ... so I'm set for the next several weeks. :) ..... God's been dealin' with me on several issues recently. I think I'm growing in this season of waiting and change ... and God wants me to grow all the more. And I do too! More and more, I find myself wanting to be all in. And I find myself slowly coming out of my spiritual slump ... desiring more of Jesus above all else. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be? ;) .... God wants me to put away my selfish ambition. He wants me to trust Him completely with the NOW versus my future. He wants me to be content in this crazy season of friends leaving me either through marriage and babies or distance and not having a husband and not passing the Praxis ... etc. He wants me to learn to know Him better and to love Him more with each day ... with every breath.

Contentment is only one lesson. But I only have one life. So let's learn this lesson of life ... a content life ... content in Christ alone. :)

GoG 50: The Teenagers

I sighed tonight while walking out of the SoZo room.

I sighed and smiled.

I sighed and smiled and shrugged my shoulders with joy because I get to work in my heart's desire. ... I get to talk with teenagers ... laugh with teenagers ... teach teenagers more about living for Jesus ... watch teenagers grow in Jesus ... simply love on teenagers ... my teenagers - my SoZo kids.

We had a movie and pizza night at the church tonight, and while I was there, I got another glimpse of God's grace ... my teenagers. :)

GoG 49: The NOW Again

Whew! Last one for the night! And I'm finally caught up!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Remember #48? .... Living for NOW?

I found out today that I did NOT pass the Praxis (for the 9th time) ... which means that I have to either sit behind a desk and stare at papers for the rest of my life (with my plain English degree) or I need to start over with something new. So ... starting over it is! But I'm not exactly sure what I'm gonna start over with or as or .... ya know. I have some ideas, but it's gonna take a lot to do any or all of them. And then there's the whole seek God for His will thing. :)

I googled my ideas for almost 3 hours this afternoon ... trying to find that new plan. I wanted just a glimpse of something I could do. Really, I wanted to find that new plan and plan it all out right then and there. I knew I was being unrealistic, but I couldn't help it. I've been waiting for so long. My "life" has been so up in the air for so long. And I was just tired of the "up in the airness" today.

I went to Jonathan and Levi's basketball game tonight. And while I was there, I realized something. I realized that I am doing it. I am doing that new plan. I don't know all of the details, but for now, God has me right where He wants me. He wants me to live for the NOW. And right now, that NOW is working with my SoZo kids. Pouring into their lives. Loving them. Encouraging them. Supporting them in what excites them. But not only did I realize that ... I realized that I don't need to have everything planned out. I don't have to ... need to ... or want to get all caught up in what's gonna happen in May when my second job at the writing center is over .... or what's gonna happen once this summer is over and my kids go back to school .... or anything concerning my future. I can (and should) simply live for the NOW.

So again ... God, in all of His amazing grace, is reminding me of His lessons. "Trust Me completely, Mical. Live for Me now, Mical. I've got it all, Mical." .... Yep. Our God is stinkin' ... beyond stinkin' amazing!!!!! :)

GoG 48: The NOW

God has been teaching me about NOW lately.

God wants me to live for the NOW .... instead of worrying about my future.

And it's not always worry.

Sometimes, it's just me dwelling too much on what is gonna happen. I don't know what is gonna happen ... but I find myself thinking about it too much.

Perhaps I'm not worrying .... but I'm getting caught up ... I'm distracted.

I'm not living for today.

Last night, I went to a college-age Bible study with a friend .... and I laughed on the inside while we were watching a video (Rob Bell ... a pretty cool motivational speaker) about leadership ... specifically church leadership ... but leadership in general. I laughed because Mr. Rob was talking about God giving us a job .... and then when we finish that job, He gives us another one. And when we finish that job, He gives us another one. And so on and so forth. .... One step at a time. One day at a time. One job at a time. .... It was just another reminder that God wants me to live for the NOW ... and I think He wants that for all of us. Sure, we need to be observant. We need to seek God for our futures. But God doesn't want us to get so distracted with the "laters" that we miss the NOW. And God cares about me and His plan for my life enough that He will remind me of this lesson over and over again until I get it. Wow .... now, that's grace, yo!!!

GoG 47: The Child's Hugs

Almost there. 3 more posts for the night, and I will be caught up!!!! Rock on!!!! Y'all have a lot of posts to catch up on! Better get readin'! ;)

#47: More touches from the little'uns :)

Wednesday at after school, Andrea (little hispanic girl who likes to pretend to run her boogers all over me) saw me and ran up to me .... "Miss Mical! Miss Mical!" And she gave me several huge hugs!

And my day was complete. :)

GoG 46: The Bible Study

So I have this really amazing guy in my youth group. His name is Andy .... and I am completely proud of him. He is just awesome! He loves the Lord .... he is growing in the Lord (like crazy, yo!!!) .... he is a leader .... he makes good decisions .... he's sensitive to the needs of others .... he's humble .... hilarious .... just an all-around good kid .... but more than just good 'cause Jesus is the Lord of his life - genuinely ... and it shows. :) .... I'm just a little proud to call him one of "my kids" ... if you couldn't tell. ;)

He started a sr. high Bible study this past Tuesday night. He led it and everything. Golly, I was proud! I AM proud. .... It went really well. We read in Joshua ... and we got to talking (even some of the kids who don't usually talk got goin'!) about what God has been teaching us and how it has changed our lives. Good stuff. And it was all Andy! .... Well, it was all God ... but God used Andy to lead and listen and just do a really good job with it. I think Andy was pleased with it too. I know I was!

But gosh .... it was just amazing to watch one of my kids do something so great ... for Jesus! It was just another glimpse of God's grace. Not only does He allow me to work with amazing kids ('cause my other kids are great too!) ... but He allows me the privilege of watching them grow up in Him ... maybe even HELP them grow up in Him. ...... Amazingness. Awesomeness. And a bunch of other "ness" words. :)

GoG 45: The Graceful Mical ... or not

Well, if you've been keeping up with my blog, you know that I like to tell stories about myself. By that, I mean ... I like to tell y'all about my spazziness, my blondeness, my well .... Micalness. :D

Monday night, I went to Red Robin with Maggie and Hannah. And while I was there ... within about 5 minutes of each other .... I practically threw the cardboard stand across the table and I spilled a full glass of water all over the table. .... It was one of those "you had to be there" moments ....

First, I knocked the cardboard stand off the table .... but it nearly flew across the room. Who knows what I was doing?

Then, I was reaching across the table to help Hannah move her burger basket ..... and I knock over my water .... what the heck? Ha ha! .... Again, you had to be there. But we all had a good laugh about it.

I am just so graceful .... uh ... yeah right. And my lack of gracefulness is grace if you really get down to it. Ha! Nice ....

GoG 44: The V-Day Party

Last Sunday, Calvary had its 4th annual Parents Night Out/Kids Valentine's Day Party. I've been organizing it and leading it for the past 3 years, and it's always a good time. We keep the kids in the sanctuary playing games, running around like crazy people, listening to music, doing crafty stuff, and we feed 'em dinner. All the while, the parents go out for a night on the town.

My GoG for Sunday was all of the help I received with the event. I made it a youth group service project ... I asked all of my kids to come help with the event. .... They didn't have to come ... but they did. Just about everyone was there. It was great to see my kids there serving the church by loving on the kids. And it was fun to laugh with them too ... we laughed quite a bit, which is always good.

And afterwards, several parents (and nearly all of the youth) stayed to help tear tape and decorations off the walls, put the chairs back in order, do the dishes, vacuum the floors, and make sure the kids didn't kill each other in the clean-up process. .... It was such a blessing to have so much help .... and just another hint of God's great grace in my life. :)