GoG 83: The Breakdown

So .... I had a "breakdown" tonight in my BBF's car. It wasn't an easy "cry fest" and "spill my heart fest," but it was needed. Beyond needed. :)

I found out that I haven't let go of some disappointments that have happened in my life over the past 3 years. That's a bummer. But it's also grace ... God's grace! ..... God cares about me enough to bring about comments (moments) in our lives to bring the uglies to the surface. He doesn't want 'em to fester within us. He wants us to deal with 'em and let of 'em and ask forgiveness for 'em and move on from 'em. Praise God for that!!!!!

And praise God for a BBF who will listen and give advice and pray and stand by me in the midst of my uglies.

I will not be bitter. I will let go. I will trust God completely and overcome. And it's all because of a little thing called grace. :)

GoG 82.5: The Life-Giving Friend

In addition to becoming an unofficial aunt today, I met with my dear friend, Sara-Ruth. Sara-Ruth and I have described ourselves as very similar to one another but different at the same time. We both stress about little things. We both love deeply but are afraid of being vulnerable. We are really hard on ourselves. We get worked up (excited) about simple/goofy/wonderful things. The list could keep going. :)

Sara-Ruth is one of my all-time favorite people to chat with, spend time with, just sit close to. She is ... as she put it - a life-giving friend. She talked tonight about how I make her feel better ... that she goes away from me feeling as though she can take on the world again. She said that when she spends time with me it's as if I "radiate something ... there's life there." And so she, in so many words described me as a life-giving friend.

But that is what she is for me. I told her that, once I leave her, I can say ... "Okay, life! Let's do this thing!" All I have to do is see Sara-Ruth, and I am feeling better than before I saw her. All I have to do is get a hug from her or see her and her family at La Ranchera and chat with them for 2 minutes, and I feel better ... as if a new breath of life was breathed into me for the day. .... Not many friends do that. I think I count the number of friends who do that for me on one hand.

Sara-Ruth is so genuine, passionate, God-fearing .... a ray of sunshine, really. And she doesn't even know it. And it is her friendship ... her life-giving friendship that is my second glimpse of grace for the day ... GoG 82.5.

GoG 82: The Baby Wade!!!

Baby Wade is here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maggie has been one of my very best friends since I was 6 and she was 7. And she is married and had a baby today!!! When did we get so old!!!!

And baby Wade is my glimpse of grace for today. I'm an unofficial aunt!!!! :)

Oliver James Wade.

8 pounds 11 ounces.

Born at 9:14am Wednesday, March 24, 2010!!!!

GoG 81: The Emily Day :)

I got to hang out with my Emily today!

We laughed together.

We ate soup and grilled cheese together.

We took a walk in the park together.

And that's grace! :)

GoG 80: The Answer to Prayer

My GoG for today is that God is providing people to help with SoZo!!!!!!!

About 3 weeks ago, my parents volunteered to help until some other people could step in. And this weekend, two people from church told me they would love to help out with SoZo! Two very capable people who will do a great job! And I am sooo excited! What an answer to prayer!

Look out, world! The SoZo youth are a comin'!!!!! :D

GoG 79: The Jon Friend

So ... today I got to chat with my dear friend, Jon. Gosh, I love that guy! ..... We've been going to the same church together for several years ... but lately, over the past year or so, we haven't been able to stay in touch as well. ... Oh, we see each other just about every Sunday ... but usually, all I get is a wink or a wave or a smile from the stage or a "hey, how's it goin'?" And a lot of the time, none of the above 'cause our paths don't always cross at church. Sometimes, we get to squeak a little more out when we play football with the gang ... but not always.

But today .... oh yeah! :)

I was so encouraged and filled with joy, really, when Jon walked with me to the football field when I first got to the game. I almost burst with joy when he told me he asked for me to be on his team (I had previously told him that I wanted to be on his team). I was excited to get a hug from him ... as well as several winks and smiles and laughs. He also made fun of me quite a bit .... all those guys do. I must have the "lame disease" or something. ;) Haha! And I was blessed to get to chat with him as we walked back to our cars when we left the game. I was able to chat with him just a little about his wife and son ... we didn't chat too long ... but he did say ... "I think about you a lot and your friendship." And I was incredibly blessed to know that he thinks of me as a dear friend .... because I just love him to death! I would give my life for that guy! Jon is one of the few people in my life whom I would literally say, to his face, "You just make me feel better about life." He really is one of my "pick-me-up" friends. He just holds a really special place in my heart.

We had the chance to chat and interact and laugh a lot together today. And it's long-time friends who are one of God's greatest glimpses of grace in our lives. Thank you, Lord, for friendship!

GoG 78: The Compliment from Ben :)

Today, one of my best friends told me I'm an amazing person.

Ben.

And that's about all I needed to continue on after a busy and overwhelming evening of prepping for tomorrow morning's announcements at church. Whew! I don't know why I'm so nervous!

Friendship. Compliments. Responsibilities. .... They're all apart of God's grace in my life. :)

GoG 77: The Volunteer Excursion

So ... this was my day today ....

The pictures should say it all ... but just in case they don't ...... ;)

I've been volunteering with the after school program at Shepherd Community for almost a year and a half now. I love it! ... I also pick up food for a couple of the after school locations on Wednesday and Thursday afternoons. They had a special pick up today (Friday) that I volunteered for.

The task: I was to drive to IPS #65, load some food into my car, take it back to Shepherd and help unload it, and go home. Also, they wanted us to arrive at our location (mine being IPS 65) between noon and 3pm ... a good detail for the story you are about to read. ;)

What actually happened:

11:51am - I leave my house in Danville to head for the Eastside.

11:56am - I pull into McDonald's for a sweet tea ... what else? ;)

12:26pm - I leave a gas station in Avon, still heading to the Eastside.

Roundabout 12:57pm - I pull into another gas station off of 31 North to ask for directions to IPS 65.

Roundabout 1:15pm - I arrive at IPS 65. .... The secretary takes me into the room where all of the food is being kept. I see that there are about 5 big trash cans full of loose canned/boxed foods ... as well as 8 to 10 boxes/bags full of food. Amazing! It was great to see so much!!!! But then came the thoughts ... "How am I gonna get this food into my car? The trash cans most certainly won't fit."

Roundabout 1:30pm - I call Shepherd asking about transporting the food ... "Do y'all have some bags or something I can pick up at Shepherd and bring back to IPS 65 to help load the food in my car?"

2:20pm - I leave Shepherd after retrieving some bags. Notice the time frame .... yeah ... I got lost trying to get from IPS 65 to Shepherd Community ..... ha ha! ;)

Roundabout 4:35pm - I arrive back at Shepherd to drop off the food. ... During this just over 2-hour stretch of time, I got lost (again) trying to get back to IPS 65 from Shepherd ... 4 or 5 teachers and about 8 to 10 students and myself take ALL of the boxed/trash canned food and put them (individually!) into trash bags and throw them wherever we can find room in my car ... I drive back to Shepherd and get stopped by a train - probably the longest one I've had to wait at ever! Ha ha! ... and then I finally arrive at Shepherd.

Roundabout 5:00pm - I say goodbye to Mr. Derrick and take off for the ride back to Danville.

Whew!!!!!!! What a day!!!!! A trip that I thought would take 2 1/2, maybe 3 hours, turned into a 6-hour excursion!!!!! Man, oh man ....

To be honest, I was a bit put out in the beginning. I did a lot of driving today. I got lost more than once. We had a tough time getting all of that food to fit into my car. I had a long drive home afterwards. I was a bit bummed about the overall experience to put it lightly. BUT! I prayed over and over .... I sang worship songs .... I even danced in the car to some TobyMac and Family Force 5! I didn't want my attitude to ruin the day. I didn't have a great attitude the entire day .... but I did handle it better than expected, I think. Overall. ;)

AND! ... God, in all of His mighty grace, gave me some grace!

Firstly - I love Shepherd Community! I think they do amazing work with the people of the Eastside, and I am so blessed and privileged to serve with them to some extent. So even though not everything went according to plan, I would, somehow, do it all over again. ;) ... I was blessed to serve ... even though it was a fairly difficult day. :)

Secondly - a little boy at IPS 65 gave me a sucker. Ha! Gosh, it was great. I was walking out to my car about to pull it around to start loading up all of the food ... feeling overwhelmed and hurried ... and he just looked at me and said, "Would you like a sucker?" I asked, "A sucker?" I was taken a little off guard ... by the gesture and by the grace I saw in the gesture ... and I looked at him, smiled, and walked towards him saying ... "Ya know, that would make my day so much better actually. Thank you." And I took his sucker. :)

Lastly - While we were loading up the car, one of the students, a girl probably 11 or 12 years old, looked at me and said, "You're really pretty." .... Again, I was taken off guard by both the timing and genuine nature of the comment .... as well as the amazing grace I found in it. Surprised, I looked at her, smiled, and said ... "Oh. Well, thank you!" .... And as I walked away, back toward the room with the food, I smiled really big, laughed a loud, and said, "Thank you, Lord!"

Ha! It's amazing to me that out of a more than fairly stressful day .... God still managed to show me glimpses of His grace. Amazing. It makes me smile really big just remembering the day! What?! Ha! And yes, I am smiling ... really big ... right now. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for Your mighty, abounding, and amazing GRACE!!!

GoG 76: The W.O.W. Hearts

I finally found a small group!

Recently, I stopped going to my parents' small group because Andy (one of my SoZo guys) wanted to start up a Sr. High Bible Study on the same night. I can't resist my SoZo kids ... so I agreed to tag along for the ride. We recently switched the night to Mondays instead ... and I've been looking for a small group to go to. I set out looking for a college-age group somewhere ('cause my church doesn't have one, sadly). I haven't had any luck .... but I did find another small group ... the W.O.W. (Women of Worth) group at Andrea Shuman's house every other Thursday. I've been wanting to join this group for quite a while but couldn't until now. So I'm excited.

Sharing my heart wtih ... and seeing more into the hearts of these ladies last night was a huge blessing. And I think this group is going to be an anchor and a great encouragement in the coming months! And the sharing of hearts was my GoG yesterday. :)

GoG 75: The Journey to Contentment

Like I said in a recent post, I've been battling discontentment lately. Hannah and I have been pushing each other and encouraging each other in this area all week. It's great to have a buddy! :) ... And my glimpse of grace for this past Wednesday was just that .... Hannah and I were texting each other, facebooking each other, praying for each other ... and our messages were all about contentment - how we don't want Satan to win and how we're gonna keep striving to be content no matter what! And it is just great to have a buddy to help you along.

So I guess Hannah is my GoG for the day on Wednesday ... but lots of days these days too. :)

GoG 74: The Pride and Prejudice Prayer

Well, this is a very girlie thing to blog about ....... good thing I'm a girl, eh? :D

I watched Pride and Prejudice the other night (one of my favorite movies ... probably in my top ten) ... and the scene at the very end of the movie where Mr. Darcy is kissing Mrs. Darcy (Elizabeth) on the cheek and then on the nose and then on the other cheek and then finally on the lips ... all the while saying "Mrs. Darcy" ... this scene always gives me those warm fuzzies and googly eyes and future husband-ish kinds of desires. Like it does any girl who is truly a girl. ;)

But the other night this scene did more than all of this for me. .... Believe it or not, it actually pointed me to thoughts of Jesus. :) I shut off the movie and wrote in my prayer journal the following prayer. And the fact that this movie moved me to thoughts about my relationship with Jesus is, amazingly, God's grace in action in my life. :)

My Prayer:

"Lord,

It's cheesy, but in watching Pride and Prejudice tonight, I am reminded of my love story with You. You know my heart. You know how much I desire to find and be with my future husband. That desire is becoming stronger all the time. It's getting more and more difficult to wait. I battle discontentment in this area of my life. But Lord, I know that You are standing right by my side. Lord, I know that You have a plan for my singleness as well as my married life. Help me trust You with all of this. Help me be content. Help me be patient. Help me desire more of You.

Lord,

as Pride and Prejudice ended tonight, I let out a sigh, wishing for a love story like Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy. But then I was reminded of my love story with You. I was reminded that You are so much more than any Mr. Darcy You could give me. You stirred my heart and brought my thoughts back to You. Continue helping me desire You above all else. Even though I desire an earthly love story, I know that it will not compare to the perfect and eternal love relationship that I have with You. Lord, never let me desire anyone or anything more than I desire You. I want You, Lord. And I want You to be my all forever.

Thank You, Jesus. Keep working in my heart, and be glorified in me. I love You, Lord."

After reading through this prayer again, I see that I've repeated myself - each paragraph repeats the same big ideas. Interesting to think about. As I kept writing, I kept processing the thoughts that this movie brought to mind .... and in saying them back to God, it helped me grasp the depth of these thoughts. Hmm ... interesting.

GoG 73: The Prayer Text

So ... I have this really cool friend named Hannah Baker ... and she is not only cool but amazing!!!! :) .... I've been really struggling with content over the past week .... a lot in general over the past few years ... but specifically this week. Hannah and I have been working through it together in a lot of ways.

Well, Monday was a really rough day for me .... springing off of my Acquire the Fire/humiliating experience I mentioned in my last few posts. And I texted Hannah asking for prayer .... and this was her reply ....

"You got it. ... 'Lord, I ask that You lift the discouragement from Mical's heart. Cover her with Your love, Your peace, and give her contentment. Thank You that she is coming to You, and thank You for her friendship. Give her strength tonight. Allow these feelings to give way to joy. Thank You, Lord, for Your presence in our lives.' ... I LOVE YOU, MICAL ... will keep praying for you tonight."

Isn't that an amazing prayer??? I was incredibly blessed that she didn't just say "I'll pray for you" ... but that she actually sent her prayer to me! Oh, written prayers are such a blessing! And her prayer really helped me through the rest of the day. Yet another glimpse of God's grace in my life. :)