So I'm reading this book called Her Mother's Hope by Francine Rivers. Ladies, if you haven't read anything by Rivers, I suggest you find something by her. I DON'T like to read, but every book I've picked up by her, I've really liked! Anyways ... I'm not quite halfway through Her Mother's Hope, and I've been frustrated with the main character, Marta, for the past 60 pages or so. It's difficult to let you know all the details without writing forever and giving away the story. But I think Marta has stubborn and bitter and selfish tendencies, and she makes me think about the way I wanna support my husband. I don't think Marta has done a good job of supporting her husband throughout the course of this book. Maybe she'll get better; I still have a lot to read. And I understand Marta's worries about finances and whether or not her husband will find a job in the new places and the many changes happening to her and her family. But this book has stirred up some questions ....
We may have certain dreams, but what about the dream of being loved by a good man and raising a family together? When you get married, shouldn't your dreams be your husband's dreams and your husband's dreams be your dreams? It's a partnership, isn't it? Why is Marta so opposed to everything Niclas wants? I understand having your own hopes and dreams, but what about supporting your husband? What about putting his needs before your own?
I don't know if I'm anywhere close to doing these things for my Darrell, but I want to ... and I try. I want to be a wife who loves and supports and trusts my husband. I want to believe in my husband and believe in his dreams. I want his dreams to be my dreams. I want to be uplifting to my husband and give him courage, not tear him down and nag him with my worries. I think it's okay to have separate dreams from your husband because God has given each of us a specific calling on this planet. But when you become one with your husband, sometimes you have to sacrifice or tweak your dreams. Sometimes you don't. But either way, to some extent, your dreams should become your husband's dreams, and his dreams should become your dreams. I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling other than to say ... you must work together in your dreams, support one another, help each other in any way you can. Be unselfish. Be ready and willing to tweak and give things up and compromise (the good kind of compromise). I just so badly wanna be selfless and supportive.
God, I pray for the strength to be the kind of wife who encourages and empowers my husband. Please help me be a wife who loves selflessly and unconditionally. Help me be a wife who looks to fulfill my husband's needs first. Teach me to always listen to You and trust You first so that I can listen to and trust my husband. Give me courage to always trust You and face change with an eternal perspective no matter what comes our way. Please be glorified in our lives and in our marriage. Thank you for Your grace and mercy and strength for each day. I love you, Lord.