Haha! A long while back, I started a blog project called 30-Day Jesus. It was supposed to be 30 straight days of posting about Jesus and what He was doing in my life each day ... to help me be more consistent in my prayer and devotions. Ha! Well, it looks like I only made it to day 5 and gave up. What a dork. ... I guess I'll have to call it "30-Day Jesus" because it's 30 days of Jesus posts ... not in a row ... but just Jesus and what He's doing in my life. ... Every time I post one of my 30-Day Photo Challenge pictures, I think of these 30-Day Jesus posts. It might be good to finish this blog project, so here I go - day 6 is today. :)
I've been thinking a lot about the goodness of God over the past several months. To be honest, I've struggled a lot with believing that God WASN'T good. Eek! Don't tell anybody I said that. A youth pastor who doesn't believe God is good? Umm ... no. "Ban her from the church!" "Get her away from those teenagers!" "Kick her out of the Christian community altogether!" ... Haha! Okay, so I'm taking that a bit far. ... But that's how I've felt! "Oh my gosh. I'm a leader in my church ... I'm teaching the teenagers about Jesus ... people think I've got it together ... and I don't believe God is good???" Ahhh!!!! Yeah, it was quite the struggle for a lot of months.
Thankfully, recently, God's been really at work in my life. He always is ... but recently, it's been extra amazing! :) The Holy Spirit brought a phrase to mind several weeks back that has changed my perspective entirely. I was on my way to my Thursday morning Bible study, when the Holy Spirit whispered to my spirit, "Believe without seeing." Although I couldn't think of the Scripture passage He was pulling this from, I immediately knew He was speaking directly to me and that finding the context of this phrase would be huge. I burst into tears as I thought more about what this phrase really entailed ... and what it meant for my current circumstances.
For so many months, I had been focused on everything but Jesus. I had been wallowing in past hurts, suffocating in dreams that had still not been met, and feeling quite depressed and defeated. ... On Thursday mornings, we had be reading and discussing the book, "Lies Women Believe" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Wow, that's a great book! And the very first lie was "God is not really good." At the time, I had no idea that I was believing THIS SPECIFIC lie. But as we kept studying the book and things began to sink in, wow! Putting my finger on the lie really started changing my perspective. God was at work! He was telling me that I should no longer be depressed and defeated, that I was to BELIEVE in HIM no matter what my circumstances ... even though I couldn't SEE what He was doing and what He was gonna do.
And since that morning, I've been a new woman! I still have a long way to go in so many areas ... but God is really working in me about my circumstances. Believe without seeing. That phrase has really changed my life. ... Oh, and by the way, that phrase comes from Thomas' story after Jesus' death and resurrection - go read about it in John 20:24-29. Wow, it's good stuff! ... No matter what you're facing today, know that Jesus is at work in your life. Even if you can't SEE the work, BELIEVE. BELIEVE! If we believe without seeing, our faith will grow like crazy! Because that's what faith is - BELIEVING WITHOUT SEEING. :)