I've been thinking about my own depravity lately. Ugh. It makes me cringe. Literally. I am scrunching up my face and my body is cowering a little bit even now as I'm typing. And I want you to think about depravity too. If you can't think about your own 'cause, like me, it makes you sick, then just think about mine. Yes, think about Mical Masterson's depravity.
Have you read the definition of depravity lately? Yuck. I just did, and it makes me cower even more.
Depravity: "corrupt, wicked, or perverted."
*Big sigh and a sad face*
Man. This makes me really upset ... heartbroken, even. Heartbroken because my depravity ... my corrupt, wicked, and perverted nature hurts my Savior, my God, my Spirit - yes, the Three in One.
I don't know how you feel about this issue of TOTAL depravity or if you even have the slightest clue what I'm talking about. Some people do ... most people don't. It's worth looking into if you haven't. It can lead into crazy controversies involving the names John Calvin and John Wesley and all that they believed about God and His relationship with/to us. I'm not gonna get into all of that ... although, I am fascinated by these ideas. I'm not gonna go labeling myself a Calvinist or an Arminianist ... I don't much care about names. But! One thing I will not budge on is this idea of total depravity. Total depravity is this ... that we are totally and completely sinful (remember those ugly words from before? - corrupt, wicked, perverted? Yep, we're ALL of those), that we can do NOTHING good in our own strength - ONLY through God's working in our lives can we do, say, or think anything good at all (also known as giving us His GRACE - what we DON'T deserve).
And THAT is what I've been thinking about lately. People may argue this point, but for me, it's as easy as looking at my OWN life. Every SINGLE day ... and usually, several times a day ... I fall into sin after sin. A LOT of things qualify as sin. Sin, in itself, is "missing the mark." The "mark" is perfection (also known, and only known, as JESUS) ... and so if our hearts and minds are exuding anything but perfection, we are sinning. Whoa! Now, there's another blog post. Whew! Thank you, Jesus, for your grace! So when I think about sin that way, I KNOW I'm totally depraved! Man, oh man.
... Okay. Back to the point. Today, I was in a funk about something meaningless ... I was claiming my "rights" about something - ha, like I have any of those. And it made feel frustrated and irritable. It made me prideful and ungrateful and just mean in my heart. Otherwise known as ... I was wallowing in sin. And I got to thinking, and I voiced this to my mom ... I screw up all the time. I am totally corrupt and wicked and perverted, and I'm always going to be. Sure, God enables me to be pure and sanctified and holy, but in my depravity, 9 times out of 10, I chose to walk in the flesh instead of in the Spirit. I asked my mom, "So if God made us for His glory, and we screw up all the time, what's the point?" This question came from conviction. I was convicted because I was not only making excuses about my rights, being prideful, and ungrateful ... I was also being impatient and unkind about some demanding customers. And God was convicting me about all of these MANY sinful attitudes. So I was discouraged with myself. I told mom, "I'm so glad God is gracious 'cause if I were God, I woulda zapped all of us by at least the 3rd time ... heck, I wouldn't have created us at all!"
And when you think about this ... when you think about my question to my mom "If God made us for His GLORY, and we constantly SIN, then what's the point?", we get into some pretty convicting stuff.
So what is the point?
Galatians 5:16-26 and Romans 6 come to mind. Hold on. I'll be back in a bit. I need to go read these again ... hey, why don't you join me, and we'll meet back here for some more deep thoughts in, let's say, a half an hour? Just let me know if you need more time. ;)