I'm standing at a computer in the new campus center on IUPUI's campus. Today has been a real struggle. I am so tired of school. But not just tired of being in school ... almost to the point of totally dismissing all of my classes and doing just barely enough to get by.
Giving up is not an option.
Quitting when you're 12 weeks from graduation would be the lamest thing you could ever do.
The "you" being me.
So I will not give up.
But I do want to just slide by. I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of going to class. I'm tired of being a college student.
Some questions on my mind today ....
Why must I continue in a degree that I do not want?
Why couldn't I pass that silly test and be a college graduate who now teaches at a public middle school or high school ... loving on kids and helping them enjoy English?
Why do I lack so much motivation? And it's not just this semester ... it's been lacking for so long!
I've been thinking about this a lot lately ... my lack of motivation. And I'm tired. Ha! I'm tired of school, yes. But I'm tired of being tired of school!
So today ... starting right now ... I'm gonna work harder at finishing strong.
I don't want to do the bare minimum ... and I don't want to dread every second of class and every second of homework.
Today begins a new day!
I'm moving towards motivation!!!!
Ha! So why do you all care about my lack of motivation?
Oh wait! You don't. Or, well ... maybe you do. But why blog about it? Ha ha!
This post is simply for me!!!!
Maybe writing down my commitment to be motivated will help me do so!
Let's finish it up with a prayer, shall we?
I need your help! I am so done! I am so over this thing called school. Yes, I want to be challenged. Yes, I want to work hard. But not towards a major that I don't want. Not toward classes like The History of Television that are completely pointless and boring. I'm just being honest here, Lord. :) Please give me the strength to persevere through these last 12 weeks of classes and tutoring and homework and commuting. 12 weeks, Lord! I'm almost done! Please help me live out Colossians 3:23 when it says, "Whatever you do work at it with all your heart as for the Lord and not men." Help this be true in my life. When I'm lacking motivation, help me remember this verse. It's been coming to mind lately, and although I don't like the conviction, I need it! So please keep bringing it! Help me, Jesus! Surround me. Motivate me. Give me joy in this season of my life. Thank you, Lord, for all that you do and all that you will do. I am so excited for the future even though I have no idea what you're gonna do. Thank you, Lord. Be glorified in me. Oh, please be glorified in me. I love you, Lord!