Alright. So I finally finished reading Having a Mary Spirit.
I've decided it's the best non-Bible book I've ever read.
I think it's because it really began to help me deal with some matters of the heart that I've been leaving alone for far too long.
Ladies, if you've been struggling with some sins - deep down - you should read this book.
The more I grow to know and love Jesus, the more I realize that He is the God of the heart.
He really, really, really cares about what our hearts look like.
He does not care about our outward appearance, how much we've accomplished, how we'd like to be seen and treated ... any of those meaningless things.
God cares about the condition of our hearts.
There's a verse God brought to my attention recently that has really stuck with me ... and it sums up my previous statement perfectly.
"You shall remember all the way which the Lord your God has led you in the wilderness these forty years, that He might humble you, testing you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not." Deuteronomy 8:2
This verse is powerful! Powerful because it, in one sentence, reveals to us why God allows trials into our lives. Trials are a huge part of all our lives. Whether they be big or small, they come to us, in some shape or form, every single day. God knew that when He put us on this earth ... so He also gave us direction.
I know that I often ask God "why?" ... Even though He's given me direction and I know the answer to my question, I ask Him. "Why, Lord?" "Why did you allow these friendships to crumble?" "Why did you allow me to give my heart away at the wrong time?" "Why couldn't I have passed that test?" "Why couldn't you have stopped these things from happening?"
God knows what He's doing. Period. No ifs, ands, or buts. No exceptions. No questions or comments or complaints. Just deal with it. ..... But wait!!! We don't have to "just deal with it." God gives us direction in the midst of our "whys?"
He tells us ... right there in Deuteronomy 8:2.
"I led you through these trials for all this time so that I could find out what's really in your heart."
"I want to know ... are you really gonna trust Me and love Me and obey Me no matter what I allow into your life?"
"I allow these trials 'cause I want to watch the way you handle them ... and not just on the outside but deep down, where it really counts."
"I am the God of the heart, and I want to know if your heart really and truly desires to honor Me."
God is the God of the heart, and He really wants my heart and life to honor Him.
And so ... God's been sifting through my heart a lot lately.
It's been a painful process.
I don't want to know that I've been harboring sin.
I don't want to know that I'm not only harboring sin but holding on to sin.
I don't want to know that I'm dishonoring my Lord.
But I do want to know how I can change.
And how can I change, if I don't know I need to change?
God knows what He's doing. Period.
Aren't you glad?