Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Breaking the Fast!

Hey, all! I'm finally back!!!!!!!!!!! (I'm sure I'm way more excited than you all are - ha ha! - but perhaps a few of you are excited too.) ;) ... Well, while I was fasting from e-mail and blogging, I took some time to reflect on the time I spend on the internet. I also pondered about some drama that has come up in my life on account of blogging and e-mail. THAT is why I took a break in the first place (and my dad highly recommended it!). It was a rough task! And I'm glad that I'm back at it again ... but I'm also gonna continue evaluating myself. I'm gonna work harder at balancing e-mail and blogging with school work and Jesus time and friends and whatever else. ... To say all of that, I talked to God a bit while I was taking a break, and I'm posting a couple of prayers from my "prayer journal." Thought they would give ya'll some insight into why I fasted from these things in the first place and what I'm working towards as a chaotic-spirited, emotional, crazy person. Yep ... that's me. .... I'm incredibly thankful that God is faithful. That He never ceases to teach me, convict me, love me, push me, and uphold me no matter what I'm going through! We serve a mighty God!

So here are my two long prayers. :)

October 13, 2008
Lord God,
I'm fasting from e-mail (well Faithful7326 anyway), as you well know ... and I've had urges here and there to get on and check my e-mail - because I'm curious - but also because I want to encourage and be encouraged. Encouragement is my favorite part about e-mail. BUT! I am committed to following through with this fast. And it occurred to me ... the biggest part of fasting is PRAYER! So I'm sitting here at school, really wanting to check my Faithful7326 account, and instead, I'm praying. :)
Above all else, I want to honor you and make you proud of me (bring GLORY to your name). :) One way I'm trying to do this is cut out some of the drama in my life - since I bring nearly all of it on myself. So ... that's the biggest goal behind the fast. I want to cut down on drama and focus on YOU.
Lord, whatever you want to do in my life ... do it! I'm yours!!! I've surrendered _____. I've surrendered my new major. I've surrendered. I'm ready. I'm ready to be used by you. I'm ready to be effective! I'm ready to live out my calling! I'm ready to function again. I'm ready to live in joy and encourage others and be a light. I'm ready, Lord. I'm yours. Use me!
Okay. Just taking a homework break to say ... I'm continually surrendering myself to you; I love you; I want all of me to be about YOU. Thank you for being with me today. I'm excited to continue the day. Wow! Thank you for joy and peace. I praise you and thank you today. Be glorified in me.
Talk to you soon! :)

October 15, 2008
Lord God,
I really want to check my e-mail! Really! I do!!! What is it about e-mail that I love so much? Why do I want to check it 3, 4, 5 times a day? If I weren't fasting, I bet I would've check it at least twice by now, and it is only 10:00 in the morning! What is the deal?! I guess this fast will put some things into perspective. PRIORITIES! What are my priorities, Lord? Help me figure them out! And fast! I need to find some BALANCE, and I need to focus on YOU! Help me, Lord!
So as you're teaching me, convicting me, encouraging me, pushing me ... will you help me be content? Content in you? Content in not knowing what you have in store for me? And will you give me a stronger desire for your word and for quality time with you? Time of REAL Bible STUDY? I need more of you. I want more of you! Be my all!
Wow, Lord ... isn't it cool how prayer works? I don't even care about checking my e-mail anymore. I've only been talking to you for a couple of minutes, but I don't really have a desire to check my e-mail anymore. When we take the time to focus on YOU instead of everything that "gets in the way," instead of everything that distracts us from your presence ... we find ALL we need, all we WANT in YOU. :) Yay for that! Thanks for that! Please keep convicting me to spend more time with you. I don't have to cut out e-mail altogether, but I DO need to PRIORITIZE! It has been a good break from e-mail so far ... and I've still gotta week left of my fast ... but if I learn nothing else from this fast, help me to learn that I need YOU above all else, and I need to make sure YOU are my #1 priority! E-mail is a great encouragement (most of the time) ... I am encouraged, and I can encourage others ... but I spend way too much time online. Help me focus on YOU! You, Lord! You! I want more of you! Keep convicting me! Keep encouraging me! Keep pushing me to make ALL of ME be for ALL of YOU! Thank you, Lord!You are amazing, Lord! Be glorified in me today! ... Back to class, Lord! Talk to ya soon!

Fasting ... it's not easy ... but it is so needed sometimes .... and whatta ya know? God demands it of us! Check out Matthew 6:16-24 ... Jesus says "WHEN you fast" not "if you fast." Ooo ... yeah. Did you just feel a smack up side your head too? Darnit. Conviction. We all need it, don't we? ;)

2 comments:

bmhs said...

Thanks for cracking open the door into the discoveries of the past few weeks. Sounds like there was a lot of learning and peace-seeking done, and above all, priority alignment. Great stuff. :)

Alex

bnilsen said...

Hello Mical!

It's great to have you back! I've missed it.

Ben