Life IS changing, isn't it? *Big Sigh* Gosh. That makes me sigh and feel overwhelmed and gets me excited and terrifies me and gives me a deep sense of longing and sadness and joy all at the same time. How does that happen? How can we FEEL so much at one time?
I'm not a mother of four boys. I'm not a mother of anyone - ha! I'm not a wife or a sage (like you!). I'm not acquiring new people into my family (scary, huh? imposing a little, maybe? exciting, too?). But I'm going through lots of changes as well. So much change! Almost all of my friends are getting married, married, having babies, moving away. I'm a college graduate, but I don't like my major. I want to teach, but I can't. I want to work with youth ... and I am. But only part-time? Do I go on to Bible college? Do I find an internship across the world? Do I sign myself up for Eharmony??? .... Ha! Umm ... let's answer "no" to the last one. Haha! .... It weighs on me some days. But it also excites me! "It" being change.
But I'm learning through it all ... slowly but surely ... that God is in control ... that He loves me always ... that His plans are being carried out in ways that never entered my mind ... that He teaches me and pushes me and gives me glimpses of grace no matter how unfaithful I am to Him ... that He is orchestrating every single detail in my life - the exciting ones and the disappointing ones. It has been a long road, and the road continues still ... but I am finally learning lessons - beginning to reap tangible lessons about His working in times of waiting and longing, His healing in times of deep hurts and disappointments, His faithfulness in my unfaithfulness, His grace in all things.
Eternal perspective. I think that's the bottom line, the ultimate lesson that He has been pressing upon my heart and mind all of this time. I don't have it down pat yet, but it sure is amazing to FEEL the progress. I just keep remembering Colossians chapter 3 ... I've memorized the first 17 verses, and they are amazing! God often brings me back to verses 2 and 3: "Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God." ... I must keep looking to Christ. I must keep seeking the things of His Kingdom. I must remember that my life is so hidden in Christ that it is not even mine anymore.
Therefore, every change ... every hardship ... and aren't those the same thing nearly all of the time? ... every one of them ... God uses them for our good and His glory. And if we really stand back and look at every big and little detail of our lives with an eternal perspective, with Jesus' eyes, then we will see just that - that God is orchestrating all of it. ... Oh, Lord, that we might see with Your eyes! Make us more like you.