So I'm at school and really should be working on homework ... but I'm taking a short break.
I want to ask for all of you blogger friends to pray for me. God sure is faithful ... but He is delaying the healing process for some things in my life right now. I know He's teaching me things through it, but at the moment, I cannot see the lessons - even though I've been crying out to God "teach me what you want me to know!" "No matter what you let me go through, I love you! I trust you! I will follow you!" ... Could ya'll pray that I will let go and just glorify God? Will you pray that I will not harbor bitterness any longer and just live in the joy of God's promises?
One of the AMAZING things about this relationship with Jesus is that NO MATTER WHAT hits me in this messed up, fallen existence, I still have joy. That is one of the many things that proves Jesus' existence in our lives! It holds us apart from the world. We have JOY, which is totally different from happiness! Joy is always ... happiness is temporal. Anyway! I have joy, but right now the downers of this life are attacking me and burying my joy deep down. My joy IS still there, but it is waaaayy down, deep in my spirit right now. Know that I am fiercely digging deep ... EVERYday I grab my shovel - first thing - and dig! But I keep hitting huge rocks! Ya know? When you dig in your backyard ... maybe you're planting flowers or even a whole new tree! ... And you hit rocks and roots and such? I find myself digging consistently, but I get so exhausted because these huge rocks of bitterness or sadness or discouragement or inadequacy or loss or whatever ... just get in the way! I feel like I'm digging deep and getting no where!
But ya know? I am! If I really calm down and get honest with myself, I AM getting somewhere! Because God is growing me! I don't know in what ways yet, but He is growing me! (I'm trying to be realistic and not let the "depths of despair" overtake me! - And yep, I'm totally stealing one of my favorite phrases from Anne of Green Gables!)
Please keep me in prayer, if you would. God is sooooo faithful! He DOES have a plan! I am just caught in a hole of rocks and roots and such, exhausted from the dig. But I can't stop digging! Giving up is not an option!
GOTTA KEEP DIGGING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Too bad that's so much easier said than done).