Remember #48? .... Living for NOW?
I found out today that I did NOT pass the Praxis (for the 9th time) ... which means that I have to either sit behind a desk and stare at papers for the rest of my life (with my plain English degree) or I need to start over with something new. So ... starting over it is! But I'm not exactly sure what I'm gonna start over with or as or .... ya know. I have some ideas, but it's gonna take a lot to do any or all of them. And then there's the whole seek God for His will thing. :)
I googled my ideas for almost 3 hours this afternoon ... trying to find that new plan. I wanted just a glimpse of something I could do. Really, I wanted to find that new plan and plan it all out right then and there. I knew I was being unrealistic, but I couldn't help it. I've been waiting for so long. My "life" has been so up in the air for so long. And I was just tired of the "up in the airness" today.
I went to Jonathan and Levi's basketball game tonight. And while I was there, I realized something. I realized that I am doing it. I am doing that new plan. I don't know all of the details, but for now, God has me right where He wants me. He wants me to live for the NOW. And right now, that NOW is working with my SoZo kids. Pouring into their lives. Loving them. Encouraging them. Supporting them in what excites them. But not only did I realize that ... I realized that I don't need to have everything planned out. I don't have to ... need to ... or want to get all caught up in what's gonna happen in May when my second job at the writing center is over .... or what's gonna happen once this summer is over and my kids go back to school .... or anything concerning my future. I can (and should) simply live for the NOW.
So again ... God, in all of His amazing grace, is reminding me of His lessons. "Trust Me completely, Mical. Live for Me now, Mical. I've got it all, Mical." .... Yep. Our God is stinkin' ... beyond stinkin' amazing!!!!! :)