Monday, February 22, 2010

GoG 51: The Facebook Message Reflection

So today's GoG comes from a Facebook message I wrote to Emily tonight. Why don'tcha just read a "little" (it's really a lot!) excerpt from that to get a glimpse. ;)

And all has been well this week. Andy started a sr. high Bible study this past Tuesday, and it went really well. Gosh, I'm proud of that kid! He makes SoZo worth it just by himself. But thankfully, I love ALL of my kids ... even though youth ministry is hard work! Whew! .... But I'm so excited. ... I didn't pass my Praxis exam ... so my post of "can everyone pray for Mical? ... seeking new direction" recently was related to that. But I think prayer, along with your "just live" comment, and God's grace have really helped me keep my perspective right. I started freaking out there for a few days. But I was talking to God a couple days ago, and I told Him about my worries .... and then asked, "Why am I worried though?" I'm confident in God's calling ... He wants me to work with kids and youth. And He wants me to work with my SoZo kids ... at least for the time being. And I don't need to get all caught up in "what now?" Perhaps He had His hand in the whole Praxis mess. Perhaps He wanted me to be here, now ... in Danville, IN ... at Calvary Chapel ... with my SoZo kids ... for such a time as this. I really believe that. Even with all of the drama ... the tough times, etc. I love it! And I am confident in Christ for this area of my life. .... So what if I work at the church part-time and waitress the other part ... or work at the church and work in the writing center the other part ... or whatever. If I'm called to SoZo, then I'm called to SoZo ... and I'm excited about that! :) ... Ha! You're probably wondering where all of that came from. Too funny. ... I guess these are just some realizations I've come to this week ... some ... well ... life-changing ones. ;) So that's the biggest part of my week. :)

Other than that ... I've just been helping out at after school ... and I went to a couple of small groups. One was in Indy ... some random group through College Park Church ... and another one was through Westlake. They were both good ... but I don't think I'm gonna go to them. I feel kind of bad going to a college-age group to "find a husband." Ha! 'Cause that was my mindset going in. ;) .... I might visit a few more ... I DO need to be with folks my own age. But ... I am also totally ready to just live. To just live for Jesus and let Him bring some guy in His time. Oh, I'll have my days ... my "come on, God ... where is he?" days. But I can feel real growth in this area of my life. I am slowly but surely learning to make Jesus my all ... and just live. No worries. No "when's my future husband coming?" No "what's gonna happen next?" ... etc. ... Now, don't get me wrong. I do and will continue to have my days ... don't we all? But it's encouraging to see and feel growth in this whole trust thing. :)

I've also started this book called ... ha! I've actually started two books. The Call by Os Guinness and Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. I've been all worked up about my "calling" ... where am I supposed to be, God? What are you doing? Etc. etc. So Jeremy Wright suggested The Call. I'm not too far into it, but I'm excited to read it. And the Grace Fellowship ladies are going on a retreat next month, and the theme is contentment. .... I can't go (sadly) ... so I got the book. I started it last night ... and I can already tell that it is going to continue to mold my perspective ... maybe change it completely ... and I'm praying it will change my whole life! Good stuff, yo. :) ... And lastly, I've been and I'm continuing to get into the Word more. Pastor challenged us this morning to get into the Word all the time ... to really get into it. And I'm excited to keep trying.

Oh! Another thing! You already know this ... but I am soooo excited about that youth pastor's conference I'm going on! I leave really early Friday morning, and I am sooo excited! I'm so excited that I don't know what to do with myself! :D I think it's really going to be good. I think it's really gonna give me a spiritual push, as well as lots of great ideas and motivation, that I need to continue on in SoZo. Friday morning through Monday afternoon. Gosh, I can't wait!

Ha! Gosh, this is turning into a long reply. Are we surprised? Umm ... no. ;) .... Anyways ... I guess I say all of this ... yes, because you asked how my week was going ... but also ...
God is at work in me. He is molding me ... shaping my heart into something much bigger than myself. He's bringing me out of a huge lazy, selfish, sinful state of being that I've been in for far too long ... it's been a time that I've been trying to hide from everyone because I've been ashamed of myself. .... But God is bringing me out of my "me, me, me" slump! And I'm so excited to be growing and seeking and growing and getting excited again. :) So I share all of this to ask for prayer as well as give you an update. :) ... Could you pray that God will change my life? I know that's a big prayer, but we have a big God. :) Pray that the books I'm reading ... that His Word! ... will change my life in the coming months. Pray that this youth pastor's conference will push me and help me to change. Pray that I will throw myself into SoZo completely. Pray that I will walk in His way ... grow ... love ... live fully. :)

Ahh ... it's so nice to write. Writing really allows a girl to reflect on what she's living and learning. And you can reflect not only on blogs or in journals ... but in e-mails to BBFs. :) Yay! God's grace is amazing! :)

1 comment:

bakerhj said...

I just wanted you to know that I check your blog everyday...I don't always leave a comment but know that you have at least 1 reader!!! Love you CCF!