Well, my glimpse of grace came from little Sam ... well ... from God through little Sam. :) ..... Some time between 8:30 and 9 tonight, Sam started getting really fussy ... he kept rubbing his eyes ... and those little blue eyes of his were having a hard time staying open .... but like most babies, he fought and fought. He wasn't gonna go to sleep without an all out war against me, his bottle, and his head and eyes that kept falling without his permission. He wouldn't let me sit down. He must've known I was trying to get him to fall asleep, so he fussed and cried all the more with every "sit down" on the couch I took. I stood and held him, swaying back and forth slowly, trying to persuade him into slumber. Keri is in the weaning process .... she's trying to stop breastfeeding ... and trying to get on with the bottle! Sam is not a big fan of this plan as of this day in time. He fought and fought. So I continued swaying slowly .... speaking gently in his ear - "You're doing great, Sam. You've got it, little guy." On and on. He would drink a little and fuss a little, drink a little and fuss a little. And finally ... his eyes couldn't take it anymore .... he plopped his head right on my shoulder and started calming down. The sucking of the bottle became less and less. And once I started humming a lullaby, he was out like a light. I continued humming for a few minutes, slowly inching the bottle out of his mouth .... and as I swayed and hummed, I closed my eyes, praising God for that moment. And then tears came to my eyes as I thought about my own children someday. In that moment, in this evening, I had a lot of love bottled up for that little guy. I knew that I would give my life for little Samuel McRoberts. So can you imagine how much more I would love my own son ... or daughter ... my own child??? Could I imagine it? Wow. All the emotions and wonderings showered me in that moment .... and tears came to my eyes.
Ahh yes ... grace in my arms in the form of a little red-headed baby named Sam. :)