Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Lonely Heart

From time to time, my friend, Ben, asks me if I'm lonely. I remember the first time he asked me that. I chuckled a bit thinking "what a question to ask." Ben's really good at probing. He's real, and he wants to know what is really on a person's heart ... none of that masked stuff. :) It's one of my top 10 favorite things about him. .... I answered "no" the first time he asked. And most of the time, I continue to answer "no." But if he were to ask me today, I would say "yes."

"Yes, Ben." I would say. "I am lonely."

I'm in a crazy season of life. Yes, we all go through it. Yes, I have friends who are going through it with me. Yes, I will endure it and come out stronger because of it. But right now, living in it, it's not the funnest time of my life. It's good for me ... no doubt about it. I still have joy in this time - thank you, Lord. I am somewhat excited about the new bends in the road that the Lord is and will continue to bring. But it's kind of rough some days.

Friends are getting engaged, getting married, having babies, moving away ... and others are just headed down paths totally separate from mine. We're all growing up ... going our separate ways. .... There is just so much change happening all at once! ....................................................................................................................................................... Ha! I don't really know where to go from here.

All I hear is ... "Lonely heart, look to God."

1 comment:

bmhs said...

I sure know what you mean about change!

2009 involved massive change--graduating, moving from country to subdivision, going to full time, changing job locations, losing old friends, gaining new friends, being cast alone before God in a way that I've never been.

All those changes, though they weren't always "yipee!" moments, they brought about another change. A good one. They brought me closer to Jesus Christ. He peeled me off of my many attachments and caused me to see Him as my husband, my lover, my Father, my Prince, my King, my Savior, my Redeemer, my all in all. It's amazing!

Press on, sister! By God's grace, endure through the hard and lonely times. Feeling lonely isn't a sin in itself. Ask our wonderful God to use it for good in your heart...and He will prove Himself to be all you ever dreamed Him to be. (Oswald Chambers came up with that phrase, not me!)

Praying for your lonely heart.

Alex